I have an idea need help.

[Flying Pig]

Si has invented a mobile bidet.

 

For midgets.

 

Gypo midgets without a bathroom.

 

With fannies.

 

With holes in there pockets to let the gadget fall out off.

 

He's going to call it a MobiMigiMingiSquirter.*

 

 

 

*I've trademarked the name on the billionth to one change it works.

[dennis tooth]

Simon have you heard of the device they invented that lets you see through walls?

 

It's called a window.

 

Only skewering yer kebab there, good luck with your efforts but with such little info, I'm out.

[Guest LFD]

I am in the position to make you an offer.

 

I'll give you a packet a rolos and cheese and onion crisps, but I'd want 51% of your business.

[Indian Red]

I am in. I can get anything manufactured. What kinda liquid and how much of it needs to be squirted?

[Guest davelfc]

Taken me a while but I've been working on the packaging. I'll only charge you £9000 artwork set up fee. I can easily change the currency but I think the US market will be big.

[hamstrung]

I have reviewed the idea thoroughly and I think it has legs.

 

PM me the details and I will write you a cheque, once a few i's have been dotted.

[The-Sir]

I have reviewed the idea thoroughly and I think it has legs.

 

PM me the details and I will write you a cheque, once a few i's have been dotted.

 

Knowing Simon it probably has about 7 legs, 3 eyes, a drumstick holder for the kids and a big "thingy" that helps to make people good.

[Chinandeler Bong]

.

Edited April 26, 2010 by Chinandeler Bong
wrong link

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

Y'know - for kids...

[Guest ShoePiss]

In.

 

Simon, pm me with a little more info. I have over 10 years of manufacturing design and test experience in the electronics industry. I know this won't include any of that but as I'm sure this product will go into high volume production I feel that my knowledge of kaizen blitz and six sigma will prove very valuable.

[Charles Penrose]

A friend of mine told me he'd thought of the next big thing, a Fingerprint wallet. Access to it could only be gained by scanning, yes you guessed it, your fingerprint. He was convinced this was a good idea, whilst I repeatedly told him it was shit.

 

He didn't seem to realise that such a wallet would have absolutely no effect on whether or not someone took your wallet in the first place, just that it might be a bitch to get into after it was stolen. Effectively, he'd just lose a more expensive wallet along with its contents.

 

Simon's idea will mostly likely be better, so lets be a little more patent with him.

[BexBissel]

I am willing to give a share in this if you can help. I have an idea but im stuck on how to do it. I need a device about the size of a coin. can be thicker Though. It has to be flexible or moulding. It need to be able to squirt a liquid when dropped. I have spoke to numerous trusted individuals about my idea they think its bordering genius. Obviouisly im not going to disclose it on a public forum but if someone can help with this on how to make it. Then i will give about a 15% share in it. My uncle maybe funding it if it works so this is a serious thread. And if this all goes right it will be compuilsary in every area it is needed.

This 'liquid' wouldn't be an acid or cyanide type substance that involves assassination by any chance would it Simon?

If so, what happened to the idea of using an egg as the vehicle for delivering said noxious liquid?

(I'm out, by the way)

[Mel Wood]

I have an idea that hit me this afternoon.

 

You know sometimes you have a sticker on the top 'step' of a stepladder that says 'This Is Not A Step'?

 

Well I'm going to start printing and selling those stickers because whoever makes them now is drastically limiting themselves.

 

If you think of the number of items that aren't steps but don't have a sticker on alerting people to that fact - dustbins, Ipads, trees, etc - I think you'll agree the untapped sales potential is phenomenal.

 

I'm looking for £8.75 worth of investment in return for 0.00032% equity.

[Uncle_Meat]

Simon is involved. Therefore, no matter what the item is, it's bound to catch fire/explode and injure someones dag.

 

Therefore, I'm out.

[Trumo]

I may have sussed it! Curry sauce pellets! Drop them in a pan. Instant curry sauce. No water needed! Beat that Levi Roots!

 

All you need, based on Simon's ramblings on these pages, is

 

A big fuck-off shiny knife. The kind that shits people right up. Guns for show, knives for a pro.

A Williams Sonoma frying pan

A coin

Some maleable plastic

Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck book

Gabrielle Union

Simon's funny-anecdote parents

Asda curry sauce

Debt

Some nymphomaniacs

Smallville

 

How can it fail?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Ahm still oot)

[Soup]

 

I think these should be compulsory.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Don't listen to them Simon, you carry on and make your millions lad.

[a stoner]

Hey I'm stoned out of my tree right now and I STILL don't have a fucking clue what he's on about.

[harryo63]

i,ll give you what you want. but i,m looking 30 per cent

[Dougie Do'ins]

The fine line between genius and madness reveals it's self on TLW, GF in the form of Simon Green.

[Anubis]

....I have spoke to numerous trusted individuals about my idea they think its bordering genius....

 

After all you and we have been through together - your bay lift problems, your kidnapped dog, the mystery of the incomrehensible tin opener, and last, but not least, your purple trainers - the GF is distraught that we are not all counted amongst your trusted individuals. You've saddened us, Simon, saddened us.

[RedKnight]

You've not explained yourself very well, your suite is too big for you and you have a penchant for losing your dags. For those reasons, I'm out.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

[Guest ShoePiss]

You've not explained yourself very well, your suite is too big for you and you have a penchant for losing your dags. For those reasons, I'm out.

 

Simon has a large suite? I thought he was living with his Dad...glad to see he's now a high roller.

[BexBissel]

Bloody hell simon, you must be working hard on this genius idea. Dont forget to keep us in the loop though.