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Instant cunt identifiers


Remmie
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2 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:


Can’t remember where I saw it, but one of the greatest insults I ever did saw was ‘You mam shared posts of missing dogs on facebook’

 

Don’t know why but that one hit me reet in the funnies.

My son in laws mum shares some amazing stuff. Dogs in New York ect. She once shared something saying 20p were bugged. It was a parody post she believed it

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10 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

‘Are you from Wigan, you cunt?’

I'm from leigh which is near Wigan. To some people from leigh that is an even worse insult than it is on here. Remember taking my dad to Wigan hospital and despite the queues he kept saying I hate Wigan, he wasn't arsed about the time.

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On 19/01/2024 at 21:45, littletedwest said:

My son in laws mum shares some amazing stuff. Dogs in New York ect. She once shared something saying 20p were bugged. It was a parody post she believed it

One woman on my Facebook shared a post about some fella getting his van robbed with all his tools in it. Clicked on it to see what part of Liverpool it happened in and it was from 3 years earlier and it happened in Sao Paolo, Brazil. Not far from Marsh Lane of course. 

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2 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

Anyone who parks in a disabled parking space without a blue badge. 

I had an appointment with my Consultant at The Walton Centre years ago when the badges were orange.

Typically there were no disabled parking spaces left except for one right outside the door which was blocked with a traffic cone and my appointment was imminent.

 

A security guard came out as I was waiting for a space so I called him over and asked why the space was blocked.

Oh, er, the mayor's coming for a visit.

Has the mayor got an orange badge?

Erm, he's not disabled no 

The mayor can fuck off then.

 

With that Mrs HL gets out of the car, removes the cone and I park my car.

 

You can't do that, it's an official visit.

Don't give a fuck mate. By the way, if there's a clamp on my car when I come back out, I guarantee it'll be all over the Echo and local radio tomorrow, so I wouldn't recommend it.

 

Cue applause and good on yer lad from onlookers.

I had my appointment and didn't get clamped. I must admit I got great satisfaction from it though. Officious twats.

 

 

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Excellent work, HL.

 

In a similar vein, we went to a local market that was being opened by the Mayor. Their car rocked up and reversed in to a fence, causing several pounds of damage and then drove off before the mayor got out. I assume the driver thought we wouldn't all recognise the regalia in the massive saloon car with blacked out windows. Anyway, someone dobbed them in the copper who was staffing the event, it was tremendous.

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47 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

Excellent work, HL.

 

In a similar vein, we went to a local market that was being opened by the Mayor. Their car rocked up and reversed in to a fence, causing several pounds of damage and then drove off before the mayor got out. I assume the driver thought we wouldn't all recognise the regalia in the massive saloon car with blacked out windows. Anyway, someone dobbed them in the copper who was staffing the event, it was tremendous.

They piss me off no end these cunts.

When I came back out the mayoral limo was parked in the ambulance bay.

The driver was still behind the wheel so he could have moved should he need to but that's beside the point, he had no right parking there.

Anyone else would have been moved on very quickly or clamped.

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15 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Saw a bloke in Asda with a union jack t-shirt on that said. " I stand for the flag I kneel for the fallen"

 

Fuck off you're not in Alabama.


Should just say “I’m a racist cunt” 

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A Korean woman on Nothing to Declare then. Completely falsified her declaration forms yet tried to bring a shit load of pork & seafood through. The entitlement winds me right up the way they start acting dumb and arrogant! She got a 3 grand fine like but still. 

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