Instant cunt identifiers

[Mook]

You've only ever heard the sort of cretins that go to Magaluf say it, though, haven't you?

 

If he has then he's the same as me, how is it pronounced?

 

I know a bloke who calls Benidorm, 'Bonkadorm' as well.

[Jairzinho]

If he has then he's the same as me, how is it pronounced?

 

I know a bloke who calls Benidorm, 'Bonkadorm' as well.

 

"Cunt - Land"

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

You've only ever heard the sort of cretins that go to Magaluf say it, though, haven't you?

 

I'd guess so. Who else talks about it?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

"Shag-a-loof"

 

I hope you get bad-shithouse-shagaloof-arse-aids.

[Bjornebye]

"beefa"

[Jairzinho]

"Marbs"

[Section_31]

"Shag-a-loof"

 

I hope you get bad-shithouse-shagaloof-arse-aids.

 

Ironically, there are actually no women there, just 40-year-old men from Birkenhead. 

[Harry Squatter]

Tenerife was the same, but one fat minger to 25 lads on a stag party

[Section_31]

Tenerife was the same, but one fat minger to 25 lads on a stag party

It's natural selection in action. You fly over there hoping to pull the Chester Jets' cheerleaders and by the Wednesday you're following the scent of chips and hoping it leads you to a 20 stone Welsh girl.

[Harry Squatter]

It baffles me why fat women used to go To Turkey and Tunisia to get banged by waiters when they could have just had a shorter flight to Magaluf or Benidorm.

[General Dryness]

"Shag-a-loof"

 

I hope you get bad-shithouse-shagaloof-arse-aids.

 

I've heard it referred to as Shag-a-Muff. Equally as cuntworthy.

 

It baffles me why fat women used to go To Turkey and Tunisia to get banged by waiters when they could have just had a shorter flight to Magaluf or Benidorm.

 

Come on mate, they're fat for a reason. They want a man who smells of kebabs and feels like a greasy piece of meat.

 

I worked with a girl who used to go and get some turkish cock every year. Big lass, not that fat, just big. But she was unattractive. Giant head. She used to come back and bang on about how massive all these turkish fellas cocks were. One time she was loudly discussing a particularly large specimen and I said "You must have a big fanny."

 

You could have heard a fucking pin drop. Knocked the wind out of her sails for a whole 10 seconds though.

[Curly]

I've heard it referred to as Shag-a-Muff. Equally as cuntworthy.

 

 

 

Come on mate, they're fat for a reason. They want a man who smells of kebabs and feels like a greasy piece of meat.

 

I worked with a girl who used to go and get some turkish cock every year. Big lass, not that fat, just big. But she was unattractive. Giant head. She used to come back and bang on about how massive all these turkish fellas cocks were. One time she was loudly discussing a particularly large specimen and I said "You must have a big fanny."

 

You could have heard a fucking pin drop. Knocked the wind out of her sails for a whole 10 seconds though.

Haha. Quality. I must have an itchy rep finger at the minute, as I'm out again!

[Original202]

I've heard it referred to as Shag-a-Muff. Equally as cuntworthy.

 

 

Come on mate, they're fat for a reason. They want a man who smells of kebabs and feels like a greasy piece of meat.

 

I worked with a girl who used to go and get some turkish cock every year. Big lass, not that fat, just big. But she was unattractive. Giant head. She used to come back and bang on about how massive all these turkish fellas cocks were. One time she was loudly discussing a particularly large specimen and I said "You must have a big fanny."

 

You could have heard a fucking pin drop. Knocked the wind out of her sails for a whole 10 seconds though.

 

Reminds me of this scene:

 

[matt1983]

A 50 year old man in a position of authority at my work has set up a Facebook account for the meerkat soft toy he got when he renewed his car insurance,and is updating it regularly.

[Jose Jones]

People who read business self help books. "The seven habits of highly effective people" "The CEO who learned to win at life" etc. Fuck off.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

A 50 year old man in a position of authority at my work has set up a Facebook account for the meerkat soft toy he got when he renewed his car insurance,and is updating it regularly.

 

You should link us. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I would like to buy the most expensive painting and shove it up this cunts arse and set it alight!!  

 

[cloggypop]

Tim Whatacunt.

[Hades]

People who read business self help books. "The seven habits of highly effective people" "The CEO who learned to win at life" etc. Fuck off.

 

You just described the manager of a certain f***ball club. He's a big proponent of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

[Section_31]

A 50 year old man in a position of authority at my work has set up a Facebook account for the meerkat soft toy he got when he renewed his car insurance,and is updating it regularly.

On my old Facebook I had loads, including chicken and mushroom pot noodle, Avon barksdale and scud missiles.

 

Avon had about 6000 fans and I could update Facebook as him, was a bit like being a black Caesar.

 

I updated on the eve of the Superbowl when Baltimore were playing San Francisco with 'I've always been a b'ball man and a boxer at heart, true, but fuck all them west coast bitches, I got nothing in my heart but love for Baltimore niggers, nothing but love'. Must have got about 500 likes and comments, with stuff like 'I'm west coast but that's awesome, we love you Avon!'

 

Awesome.

[Captain Turdseye]

I had one called The Jeremy Kyle Advice Page. I used to answer people's questions as a sexist, gambling addict, drug taking version of Jezza. It took off overnight to about 3000 followers. I was on there every day for 2 weeks while I was off work on a shutdown. I gave some replies that were funny as fuck but was bored of it after those two weeks. I handed it over to some random bird on there who was a good laugh on the page.

 

Ended up chatting to her for a while, started meeting up and moved in with her 18 months later. 3 years on from that and I'm still here. Nice one, Jezza lad.

[Stu Monty]

A 50 year old man in a position of authority at my work has set up a Facebook account for the meerkat soft toy he got when he renewed his car insurance,and is updating it regularly.

A friend of her old man does kids parties and has this teddy bear that he's built a character around. He has a Facebook page for it and spent xmas day updating it with photos if this Ted doing xmas stuff. It was a bit mental.

[matt1983]

A friend of her old man does kids parties and has this teddy bear that he's built a character around. He has a Facebook page for it and spent xmas day updating it with photos if this Ted doing xmas stuff. It was a bit mental.

My colleague is referring to himself in the third person as "daddy" when posting as Oleg.

[Bjornebye]

A 50 year old man in a position of authority at my work has set up a Facebook account for the meerkat soft toy he got when he renewed his car insurance,and is updating it regularly.

I hope he gets ran over

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I didn't know such cunts existed. Impossicunt.