Instant cunt identifiers

[General Dryness]

They've got a cheek, have they not?

 

Several. Each. With eyebrows and fingers growing out of them.

 

Shallow end of the gene pool is Bolton.

[Shitty Arse]

Even in the gym?

 

I reckon you might be setting the bar a bit low there

Not really. What's wrong with a t shirt? Why do you need to look like Freddie Mercury just because you've gone to the gym? There's no need for it. They usually have some particularly shite tattoo they want to show off as well. I am talking about lads here. Women are exempt from this particular cunt identifier.

[Champ]

Not really. What's wrong with a t shirt? Why do you need to look like Freddie Mercury just because you've gone to the gym? There's no need for it. They usually have some particularly shite tattoo they want to show off as well. I am talking about lads here. Women are exempt from this particular cunt identifier.

Because if you're putting any kind of effort in you'll be sweating buckets and you dont want some baggy, sopping wet t shirt hanging on to you. In my experience

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Champs right. Tank tops are fine for the gym and on holiday, especially if you're Irish and a scorching 18 degree heat makes you melt like butter in a pan.

[Liverpool lad]

People cannot just go anywhere now and enjoy themselves without broadcasting it to the world

 

They need to have met great people and taken away great memories after experiencing some good times

 

As a rule these people are just putting it on

[Liverpool lad]

People cannot just go anywhere now and enjoy themselves without broadcasting it to the world

 

They need to have met great people and taken away great memories after experiencing some good times

 

As a rule these people are just putting it on

 

 

These are the same cunts who are honoured, humbled and proud, must be one fucking emotional rollercoaster being some of these cunts

[Dr Nowt]

Blessed, mate.

 

Blessed to have received so many birthday wishes from all my beautiful, talented friends.

 

You do know it's my birthday, right?

[Liverpool lad]

I often get a bit worried about it, all these people related to all these wonderful people who make them feel privileged and grateful for what they have. Am I missing out?

 

Most of my family do my fucking head in and I let them know that

 

Also, I am often suspicious of some people on there and there reasons for posting.  I find most are looking to fit in, the biggest contradiction is the whoppers who profess to love charities and support our troops/finding cures for aids/etc but hold views about the unemployed, disabled and immigrants that would make UKIP voters say 'steady on, no need to be like that'.

[Dr Nowt]

I remember reading the book the creator of Viz wrote about how it all happened. He eventually sold the mag to a publishing giant while continuing to edit it for x amount of years, until he bowed out when the fun had all gone out of it for him.

 

He wrote in the book how the senior contact at the publishing company used to call him up as it got ever more popular, boasting "You'll never guess what I'm doing. I'm sat in x trendy restaurant with y celebrity of the day."

 

Donald then wrote how he used to reciprocate by calling him up when he was at the garage for his own lunch, to say "You'll never guess what I'm doing. Buying some crisps and a pork pie", before hanging up.

 

His attitude to that is what always comes to mind when I see or hear the sort of tripe you're talking about people coming out with.

[Stouffer]

I reckon about 90% of the population of this country are cunts; I might replicate this reply in the "getting older thread".

[Champ]

Blessed, mate.

Blessed to have received so many birthday wishes from all my beautiful, talented friends.

You do know it's my birthday, right?

Was it?

[Jairzinho]

I reckon about 90% of the population of this country are cunts; I might replicate this reply in the "getting older thread".

 

I have a more optimistic view than this. I reckon about 90% of the population of this country are being cunts. Albeit for quite a long period of time.

[Sugar Ape]

In work at this time of the morning and already someone is saying the following, to a man of about 60 who clearly doesn't give a fuck what he's on about:

 

" Yeah, it'd probably be easier for me to name the types of music I don't like. Not really keen on heavy opera, though I do like light opera, some strands of thrash metal I'm not too keen on but I like the genre as a whole and I don't like South American music, but it's so strange because I DO like African music. Everyone says I'm very eclectic. Er, going on to jazz... "

 

Meanwhile the fella he's talking to is facing the opposite direction to him looking at his computer screen and not saying a word.

[Dr Nowt]

Was it?

Nope.

[Dr Nowt]

In work at this time of the morning and already someone is saying the following, to a man of about 60 who clearly doesn't give a fuck what he's on about:

 

" Yeah, it'd probably be easier for me to name the types of music I don't like. Not really keen on heavy opera, though I do like light opera, some strands of thrash metal I'm not too keen on but I like the genre as a whole and I don't like South American music, but it's so strange because I DO like African music. Everyone says I'm very eclectic. Er, going on to jazz... "

 

Meanwhile the fella he's talking to is facing the opposite direction to him looking at his computer screen and not saying a word.

Whenever someone says they have an eclectic taste in music, everyone in the vicinity is always filled with total admiration for them.

[Tony Moanero]

" Yeah, it'd probably be easier for me to name the types of music I don't like. Not really keen on heavy opera, though I do like light opera, some strands of thrash metal I'm not too keen on but I like the genre as a whole and I don't like South American music, but it's so strange because I DO like African music. Everyone says I'm very eclectic. Er, going on to jazz.

Punch him.

[Sugar Ape]

Whenever someone says they have an eclectic taste in music, everyone in the vicinity is always filled with total admiration for them.

 

I don't know why it's a badge of honour anyway. What, you want a medal because you like different types of music? Fuck off.

 

I could write chapter and verse on the character in my last post though. He's like a make believe person. Today alone he's had that music conversation, told a table of 8 people that he's reworded the Tina Turner song What's love go to do with it into ' What's God got to do with it ' then proceeded to sing the song aloud clicking his fingers and told everyone about how much he is exercising now and how healthy he is, even the woman in the chippy said he looked very healthy. And what was he doing in the chippy? Buying that healthy meal a pie dinner of course.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Punch him.

Yep. Right in his vagina.

[Dr Nowt]

I don't know why it's a badge of honour anyway. What, you want a medal because you like different types of music? Fuck off.

 

I could write chapter and verse on the character in my last post though. He's like a make believe person. Today alone he's had that music conversation, told a table of 8 people that he's reworded the Tina Turner song What's love go to do with it into ' What's God got to do with it ' then proceeded to sing the song aloud clicking his fingers and told everyone about how much he is exercising now and how healthy he is, even the woman in the chippy said he looked very healthy. And what was he doing in the chippy? Buying that healthy meal a pie dinner of course.

 

I want to strangle him from here just reading that.

[rubble-rouser]

I  interviewed someone with 'an eclectic taste in music' yesterday. Naturally that was the first thing I  asked them about -  'Errm I like opera and Beyonce'. I offered him the job there and then of course.  

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Short back and sided fop on the top bearded hipster cunts. You're not a Victorian Missionary so remove your stupid fucking beard. And while you're at it give Michael Palin his shirt back he's got a song to perform. No socks ? Nothing new mate we all watched Miami Vice, and at least stubble was cool.

 

People who cry out " look at me " with their stupid vapour smoking things. When I see a few of them sitting there I immediately think Star Wars bar scene.

 

People who mow the lawn early on a Sunday morning. Cunts.

 

A bit ranty. But hey ho.

[rubble-rouser]

People who say 'hey ho'.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

People who say 'hey ho'.

Fuck off hipster !

[Section_31]

If you could sum up modern Britain in one image, it'd be a hipster sitting on a square toilet. 

[Stu Monty]

David Cameron walking back into Downing Street was a much better image to sum up Britain.