Instant cunt identifiers

[Section_31 19,887]

Said it before, but people who don't indicate. Find it baffling as I do it automatically. I think some people think they're too hard or streetwise to do it, they like to do that little quick swing turn and not indicate. Cunts.

[Dr Nowt 24,136]

People who indicate just as they turn, not as a one-off because they were daydreaming or somewhere they aren't familiar with, people who think that's reasonable.

 

Get knotted you fucking berks.

[General Dryness 9,210]

Said it before, but people who don't indicate. Find it baffling as I do it automatically. I think some people think they're too hard or streetwise to do it, they like to do that little quick swing turn and not indicate. Cunts.

 

 

People who indicate just as they turn, not as a one-off because they were daydreaming or somewhere they aren't familiar with, people who think that's reasonable.

 

Get knotted you fucking berks.

 

Yep. Both of these. Fucks me right off.

[Section_31 19,887]

The way all joy, fun, and general humanity is gradually being removed from all jobs and we're simply becoming a workforce of productivity-bound battery hens.

 

Everyone you talk to who's been in a career for a certain length of time, no matter what it is - teaching, academia, the police (the private sector is a given) will tell you how much shitter it's got in recent years.

 

When I started at a local rag a few years ago they used to pay for our training. I'd rock up in Chester on Friday at a beautiful listed building, make a brew, have a chat for a bit, then do some work.

 

First the free coffee went, then the building went, and everyone ended up in an unused broom cupboard. It was symbolic of the decline.

 

I got into a retail company after that and the conditions were much better, but low and behold, it has started to go the same way. Away days in hotels have started to take place in the canteen, bonus structure has been changed so that, instead of being measured against general deliverables, you're now measured against your team,and 20% HAVE to be found to be underperforming, even if they're not. They're also introducing software to make more processes time in motion based.

 

An AA man came out to me once and said he'd got a limited time he can spend on the car with a tracking device in his van, with time in motion shit dictating everything he does.

 

When the Amazon man comes he's got three minutes to deliver your parcel or he gets bollocked.

 

My mate's Mrs is a Dene at Liverpool uni and she's looking to fuck it off after 25 years because it's become so corporate.

 

In times gone by, the likes of a post man could go home early when he'd finished his shift, or stop to chew the fat with the locals. These days, that'd be inconceivable - but why? What's wrong with that? Why is there no place for just being a person rather than an ever tightening cog?

[Carvalho Diablo 14,589]

Great post that Section. I've long been a believer that a happy worker is a productive worker.

[A_S 1,802]

Over-the-top, self-important wanker auditors. Like the one who came to our work and said we have an allergen issue as we aren't a 'peanut-free zone'. Why? Snickers bars in the fucking vending machine.....in the lunchroom 100 metres away from any production area. Fuck. Off. 

[redinblack62 326]

Said it before, but people who don't indicate. Find it baffling as I do it automatically. I think some people think they're too hard or streetwise to do it, they like to do that little quick swing turn and not indicate. Cunts.

People should be disqualified for this.

[Carvalho Diablo 14,589]

Over-the-top, self-important wanker auditors. Like the one who came to our work and said we have an allergen issue as we aren't a 'peanut-free zone'. Why? Snickers bars in the fucking vending machine.....in the lunchroom 100 metres away from any production area. Fuck. Off. 

 

Came very close to negging this. Never diss the Marathon.

[Doctor Troy 10,439]

The way all joy, fun, and general humanity is gradually being removed from all jobs and we're simply becoming a workforce of productivity-bound battery hens.

 

Everyone you talk to who's been in a career for a certain length of time, no matter what it is - teaching, academia, the police (the private sector is a given) will tell you how much shitter it's got in recent years.

 

When I started at a local rag a few years ago they used to pay for our training. I'd rock up in Chester on Friday at a beautiful listed building, make a brew, have a chat for a bit, then do some work.

 

First the free coffee went, then the building went, and everyone ended up in an unused broom cupboard. It was symbolic of the decline.

 

I got into a retail company after that and the conditions were much better, but low and behold, it has started to go the same way. Away days in hotels have started to take place in the canteen, bonus structure has been changed so that, instead of being measured against general deliverables, you're now measured against your team,and 20% HAVE to be found to be underperforming, even if they're not. They're also introducing software to make more processes time in motion based.

 

An AA man came out to me once and said he'd got a limited time he can spend on the car with a tracking device in his van, with time in motion shit dictating everything he does.

 

When the Amazon man comes he's got three minutes to deliver your parcel or he gets bollocked.

 

My mate's Mrs is a Dene at Liverpool uni and she's looking to fuck it off after 25 years because it's become so corporate.

 

In times gone by, the likes of a post man could go home early when he'd finished his shift, or stop to chew the fat with the locals. These days, that'd be inconceivable - but why? What's wrong with that? Why is there no place for just being a person rather than an ever tightening cog?

I think originally it was to stop piss takers. That's what has happened where I work with the sick policy. Instead of weeding them out they just introduce a blanket policy across the board to penalise everyone so there is absolutely no chance of anyone doing it.

 

Where I work we had a sports day in London every year, you were allowed special leave to go as a spectator and more if you participated. Me and my mates wanted to go one year and we found out that we were the only ones from our region who registered an interest. The woman organising it said that if we didnt take the majority of the budget they would cut it the next year. So 8 of us had 1st class rail tickets and a nice hotel in Kensington just to play in a footy tournament. This was just a one off but we went for years after and we always got special leave and everything subsidised. It's the only perk you would ever get.

 

Now you have to pay for your own hotel, your travel is slightly subsidised and you have to take your own leave. However, if your line manager thinks the needs of the business take precedence then you or any of your team won't be allowed to go.

 

My mate works for Royal Sun Alliance, when he started in 1993 they had a subsidised bar, canteen, 5 a side pitch and large gym. Now they have a small gym somewhere in the building but not as big as it was. Basically most businesses look to penny pinch to the absolute extreme and will cut anything they can that is not essential.

 

Working in call centres is the worst for having to justify your time. They may as well plant a chip in your brain.

[Stouffer 1,872]

I couldn't handle people clocking my every second at work; I can't even imagine how bad that would be.

[Bjornebye 25,670]

Lads who now dress like they are in the libertines yet 5 years ago they dressed like they were going on jeremy kyle and they couldn't play a note on the triangle.

[Anny Road 2,252]

I think originally it was to stop piss takers. That's what has happened where I work with the sick policy. Instead of weeding them out they just introduce a blanket policy across the board to penalise everyone so there is absolutely no chance of anyone doing it.

 

Where I work we had a sports day in London every year, you were allowed special leave to go as a spectator and more if you participated. Me and my mates wanted to go one year and we found out that we were the only ones from our region who registered an interest. The woman organising it said that if we didnt take the majority of the budget they would cut it the next year. So 8 of us had 1st class rail tickets and a nice hotel in Kensington just to play in a footy tournament. This was just a one off but we went for years after and we always got special leave and everything subsidised. It's the only perk you would ever get.

 

Now you have to pay for your own hotel, your travel is slightly subsidised and you have to take your own leave. However, if your line manager thinks the needs of the business take precedence then you or any of your team won't be allowed to go.

 

My mate works for Royal Sun Alliance, when he started in 1993 they had a subsidised bar, canteen, 5 a side pitch and large gym. Now they have a small gym somewhere in the building but not as big as it was. Basically most businesses look to penny pinch to the absolute extreme and will cut anything they can that is not essential.

 

Working in call centres is the worst for having to justify your time. They may as well plant a chip in your brain.

What everyone always fails to grasp with all these cost cutting measures is that it is customer driven.

We are tight miserable bastards and would walk to another shop to save 20p on a packet of biscuits. Coupons, discount cards, loyalty stamps, compare websites etc is all about getting us the cheapest.

We all moan about animal welfare for instance but would we balls pays £8 for an organically raised free range chicken. Get one in Tescos for £3.

The business world has changed over the last couple of decades. previously you could succeed with quality, increases in productivity and good reputation. Thats all gone to the wall in most instances its now all down to price. Margins have been cut so tight the only way to increase profit is cut costs. That's what a manager is these days, a finder of potential cost savings. Not a people person.

[bouncebrigade 390]

People who have a bucket list.

[bouncebrigade 390]

People who try to have an input into every conversation when it is clear that they haven't a clue about certain topics.

[dennis tooth 1,240]

The way all joy, fun, and general humanity is gradually being removed from all jobs and we're simply becoming a workforce of productivity-bound battery hens.

 

Everyone you talk to who's been in a career for a certain length of time, no matter what it is - teaching, academia, the police (the private sector is a given) will tell you how much shitter it's got in recent years.

 

When I started at a local rag a few years ago they used to pay for our training. I'd rock up in Chester on Friday at a beautiful listed building, make a brew, have a chat for a bit, then do some work.

 

First the free coffee went, then the building went, and everyone ended up in an unused broom cupboard. It was symbolic of the decline.

 

I got into a retail company after that and the conditions were much better, but low and behold, it has started to go the same way. Away days in hotels have started to take place in the canteen, bonus structure has been changed so that, instead of being measured against general deliverables, you're now measured against your team,and 20% HAVE to be found to be underperforming, even if they're not. They're also introducing software to make more processes time in motion based.

 

An AA man came out to me once and said he'd got a limited time he can spend on the car with a tracking device in his van, with time in motion shit dictating everything he does.

 

When the Amazon man comes he's got three minutes to deliver your parcel or he gets bollocked.

 

My mate's Mrs is a Dene at Liverpool uni and she's looking to fuck it off after 25 years because it's become so corporate.

 

In times gone by, the likes of a post man could go home early when he'd finished his shift, or stop to chew the fat with the locals. These days, that'd be inconceivable - but why? What's wrong with that? Why is there no place for just being a person rather than an ever tightening cog?

Thats what happrns when you demand infinite growth on a finite planet.

 

There comes a point when everything starts shrinking in upon itself. Sort of a slow nuclear implosion is taking place.

Its workers rights buckaroo with a naked bukaroo they are stroking its balls mockingly as its back legs are gone. Its drunk. With marriage mortgage and kids carried pon its broken back preventing any reactionary kick. Also it has a terminal inoperable tumour in its brain that means it keeps tryna vote labour as a solution.

[Babb'sBurstNad 9,230]

I couldn't handle people clocking my every second at work; I can't even imagine how bad that would be.

 

I had a mindless IT job once working from home where you'd have to go into a database and get things to do. They clearly had the technology to tell how long you were in the system for, but made you tally up your own hours on every individual type of task. Some would last for mere seconds so it took you longer making the note of your time than actually working.

 

You'd have to sit there waiting for things to do to show up, knowing you were competing against others for the same jobs, and that your productivity was being checked against the time taken and a quota to be kept on.

 

It was like being a pigeon in front of my own computerised Skinner box; utterly soul destroying.

[Anny Road 2,252]

One job I had involved me selling products that cost 10 - 50k. But if I was in the office I would be charged with dealing with sales enquiries on the phone some could be for a 10 quid spare part.

For each phone inquiry I had to fill out a form name, address, e-mail, reason how they found us, blah blah blah. Customer would be saying all I want to now is the price for X why do you want my address etc etc.

Once I had filled in the form I gave it to my admin girl who then entered into a database then printed off a form for me to fill in result of call. Then hand it back to her to update database. Once a week our boss would call us both into the office and go through every single enquiry of the previous week. 100 + calls. Meanwhile I've got 200k + worth of outstanding quotes to process because I am too busy with this shit.

Our boss had designed the system.

[Tony Moanero 14,258]

People who have a bucket list.

What is a bucket list?

[alles ist gut 3,910]

What is a bucket list?

It's a list cunts make of things they want to do before they kick the bucket.

[FanchesterCity 1,339]

Anybody who shows you an 'app' on their phone

[Paulie Dangerously 6,696]

Great post that Section. I've long been a believer that a happy worker is a productive worker.

A worker terrified of losing their job over a statistic written in head office 200 miles away works even harder.

[bouncebrigade 390]

"On a net, net basis..."

 

*shudders*

[Rick Sanchez C-137 5,282]

A worker terrified of losing their job over a statistic written in head office 200 miles away works even harder.

 

Or finds a way to manipulate that statistic

[Liverpool lad 2,011]

People who go on holiday and all their holiday shots contain pictures of them, mainly selfies 

 

Can't tell much about your trip to Croatia because your bonce is in the way of the view

[magicrat 6,405]

People who go on holiday and all their holiday shots contain pictures of them, mainly selfies 

 

Can't tell much about your trip to Croatia because your bonce is in the way of the view

 

To add to that fucking tossers that wander around on holiday with selfie sticks. Burn the fucking lot of them