Instant cunt identifiers

[General Dryness]

13 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

It isn’t. 
 

I bet you put Tabasco sauce on your bog roll before you wipe your arse you fucking boarding pass 

What's up with that?

[Bjornebye]

Just now, General Dryness said:

What's up with that?

I got a semi on when I was typing it out to be fair 

[Captain Willard]

Must have been said before but people who are rude go waitresses or waitresses. Absolute show stopper for me. We've one in the family and I refuse to eat out with them. Can't bear it, low level bullying. 

 

[Shitty Arse]

People who congregate at the school gates like it’s a fucking social club. Just pick your kid(s) up and fuck off. I barely make eye contact with them. Nauseating. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

49 minutes ago, Shitty Arse said:

People who congregate at the school gates like it’s a fucking social club. Just pick your kid(s) up and fuck off. I barely make eye contact with them. Nauseating. 

Yes, but maybe that's because you're not there collecting your child.

[alles ist gut]

16 minutes ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Yes, but maybe that's because you're not there collecting your child.

It will be his child once he’s acquired it

[Total Longo]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Is that what he was crying about on the telly? Had SSN on but it was muted and saw him crying. Assumed they’d been ball tampering again or something. The sledging should be funny in the ashes. 

Considering that they pride themselves on finding a weakness in opponents and then relentlessly sledging them over it, they really are a bunch of crybaby pricks, the Aussie cricketers.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

Considering that they pride themselves on finding a weakness in opponents and then relentlessly sledging them over it, they really are a bunch of crybaby pricks, the Aussie cricketers.

Yeah if they aren't crying their busy getting fucking brow lifts

 

 

 

 

[diamondjoe]

1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

Must have been said before but people who are rude go waitresses or waitresses. Absolute show stopper for me. We've one in the family and I refuse to eat out with them. Can't bear it, low level bullying. 

 

How a person treats service staff tells you all you need to know about them. 

[Heinze]

People who put their feet on public transport seats. Cunts.

[Captain Willard]

57 minutes ago, diamondjoe said:

How a person treats service staff tells you all you need to know about them. 

It is a very binary simple character test. I can’t abide people who bully service staff. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

9 hours ago, Ken Robber said:

People who kick off in KFC. Don't think I've ever seen anyone do this and not wanted to side with the staff 

 

"Fucks sake! The coffee machines always broke!" 

 

Why are you going to KFC at 5 in the afternoon for a coffee you gammon?

KFC on West Derby Road used to have a security guard on the door, because there were so many kick-offs (including one murder, if I remember rightly).

[Ken Robber]

20 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

KFC on West Derby Road used to have a security guard on the door, because there were so many kick-offs (including one murder, if I remember rightly).

Always makes me think of that Kevin Bridges bit where he's talking about working in retail - "The cheaper the clothes, the more aggressive the customers" 

 

It's why you'll never see someone kicking off like this over yoghurt bombs in Mowgli 

 

 

[manwiththestick]

37 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

KFC on West Derby Road used to have a security guard on the door, because there were so many kick-offs (including one murder, if I remember rightly).

Not a patch on Otterspool.

[General Dryness]

5 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Must have been said before but people who are rude go waitresses or waitresses. Absolute show stopper for me. We've one in the family and I refuse to eat out with them. Can't bear it, low level bullying. 

 

This. There's just no need for it. 

 

Manners cost nothing.

[Harry Squatter]

15 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Must have been said before but people who are rude go waitresses or waitresses. Absolute show stopper for me. We've one in the family and I refuse to eat out with them. Can't bear it, low level bullying. 

 

Used to work in a pub and then as a waiter and enjoyed it apart from the pricks who kick off on you to make themselves feel better. Middle aged men and women screaming at people who are about their kids age doing a job to earn extra money.

 

There's nothing wrong with complaining if the staff are lazy and not arsed but when the person is Doing it over nothing and only doing it to make themselves look big. 

 

Used to get these people in a restaurant I worked in who thought they were food experts and would moan about everything and make out they were writers for Conde Nast. Would regularly trip them.up over their food and wine knowledge and the fuss they would make over trivial stuff. In the end the manager told them to stop coming in after they argued with him over his knowledge of Spanish food even though he had lived in Valencia for 20 years. 

 

I can only imagine it is worse now with ever cunt thinking they are a food critic, professional moaning twats on TripAdvisor and blag influencers wanting freebies. That's even before thinking about coked up scalls. 

[Harry Squatter]

Anyone who pointlessly overtakes you then races up to a set of lights that are on red anyway. 

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, Harry Squatter said:

Anyone who pointlessly overtakes you then races up to a set of lights that are on red anyway. 

Or alternatively, gets annoyed and speeds up for no reason when you overtake them.

[Total Longo]

Other drivers, generally.

[Tony Moanero]

Wearing these things, especially with the hood up.

 

[Red74]

Got sent the supermarket before and as I get near the tills, there’s one chocker and one empty. Steers to the empty one but sees that as is usually my luck, there’s a tills closed sign on the conveyer. 
 

Gets in the big queue then realises I’d forgot to get the cereal for my lad.

 

Asks the girl in the queue behind me if I’m ok to shoot back and get it and gets the nod to go. Comes back 30 seconds later and sees a pair of cunts dragging my trolley back so they could unload their shite from there’s in front of me. 
 

Tells him there’s a queue here mate and he turns round and says he went to the other queue and seen the closed sign was up and he weren’t queuing again and anyway, they were with the girl who was in front of me. Was just about to tell them to get the fuck to the back of the queue when the girl in front of me says it’s fine, they’re with me. Couldn’t be arsed arguing the toss so said it’s sound.

 

Lad who was working the closed till gives me a shout and says to come over to his till and the miserable cunt who’d slighted me kicks off saying he’s just fucking told me he’s closed. 
 

Karma that you twat. He saved your car getting keyed right the way around it and your tyres slashed there.

 

No one cunts this cunt.

[Captain Willard]

Anyone who starts a conversation by saying “youre going to piss yourself laughing at this …”. I’m then on edge thinking throughout the whole anecdote thinking I’ve to got find this funny or fake a laugh. Even worse if it’s their partner saying “ tell them that funny thing that happened ….”. Just tell the story, don’t hype it up with a big build up. 

[Red74]

Like people who say long story short then still tell you the long story anyway 

[Harry Squatter]

19 minutes ago, Red74 said:

Like people who say long story short then still tell you the long story anyway 

My Mum's mate will tell you something that can be told in one minute but usually takes her about 10 minutes. Got stuck with her at a family party and she took nearly ten minutes to tell me about the new extension on her house. Starting off with the planning regulations etc and going to IKEA to get the furniture. 

 

She rambled on about going to Thailand on holiday and told me chapter and verse of how she booked her holiday and where she stayed. I jumped in 3 times to tell her I had been to exactly the same hotel the previous year before she finally shut up. 

[A Red]

Stood at a bar earlier waiting to get served, barmaid comes over looking at me, "he's next " I said pointing at the bloke next to me. He orders and doesn't acknowledge or say a word to me.