Instant cunt identifiers

[Red74]

On 08/11/2021 at 09:35, Harry Squatter said:

Anyone who already has their Christmas decorations up.

I won’t bother telling you again in future if this is how you act.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Red74 said:

I won’t bother telling you again in future if this is how you act.

Don't put any chocolate near that radiator mate. 

[Red74]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Don't put any chocolate near that radiator mate. 

Safety first in ours stig. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

1 hour ago, easytoslip said:

Around town? 

Not normally. I'd wear it around Bridport for the hat festival though, but that's a gardening hat really.

[Creator Supreme]

1 hour ago, Red74 said:

I won’t bother telling you again in future if this is how you act.

Not sure about that picture of your missus mate!

[Red74]

8 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Not sure about that picture of your missus mate!

Why? 
 

It was from when she went away for a few days with her boss to test asthma inhalers. 
 

Im proud of her contribution to health improvement. 

[Creator Supreme]

7 minutes ago, Red74 said:

Why? 
 

It was from when she went away for a few days with her boss to test asthma inhalers. 
 

Im proud of her contribution to health improvement. 

Ha, superb!

[easytoslip]

1 hour ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Not normally. I'd wear it around Bridport for the hat festival though, but that's a gardening hat really.

A secret garden hat. 

[easytoslip]

1 hour ago, Red74 said:

Why? 
 

It was from when she went away for a few days with her boss to test asthma inhalers. 
 

Im proud of her contribution to health improvement. 

Haha. 

[Pureblood]

Anyone in favour of vaccine passports. 

[Kevin D]

2 hours ago, Pureblood said:

Anyone in favour of vaccine passports. 

 

Taking the show on the road.

[General Dryness]

Anybody who uses the word gammon as a pejorative. It's nice with pineapple or a fried egg, but not so good with knobheads.

[Bruce Spanner]

9 hours ago, Mudface said:

Is snooker still going?

Played snooker last night, got a break of seven.

 

Proud as fuck.

 

EDIT: Actually I sell myself short I potted blue, pink and black in order to clear up. I’m pretty much Steve Davies or some shit.

[Mudface]

6 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Played snooker last night, got a break of seven.

 

Proud as fuck.

 

EDIT: Actually I sell myself short I potted blue, pink and black in order to clear up. I’m pretty much Steve Davies or some shit.

I think my highest break is 7, red-blue-red. I can't recall ever potting more than a couple of balls in a row at any time. Mind you, this was 30-odd years ago at some dingy snooker club when snooker's popularity was probably at its height.

[General Dryness]

1 minute ago, Mudface said:

I think my highest break is 7, red-blue-red. I can't recall ever potting more than a couple of balls in a row at any time. Mind you, this was 30-odd years ago at some dingy snooker club when snooker's popularity was probably at its height.

Snooker tables are too fucking big. The big bastards.

[Bjornebye]

13 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

Anybody who uses the word gammon as a pejorative. It's nice with pineapple or a fried egg, but not so good with knobheads.

Nah, I think it perfectly describes cunts like these ukip gammons

 

 

 

 

[General Dryness]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Nah, I think it perfectly describes cunts like these ukip gammons

 

 

 

 

Cunts works just as well. And it's got less letters.

 

Leave gammon alone, you horrid lefty twat.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, General Dryness said:

Cunts works just as well. And it's got less letters.

 

Leave gammon alone, you horrid lefty twat.

Only gammons don't like the term 'gammon' 

[General Dryness]

5 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Only gammons don't like the term 'gammon' 

Not true. I'm not racist, in my 50s, red faced or even English. 

 

Only cunts like the word gammon for anything other than a tasty food.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

Not true. I'm not racist, in my 50s, red faced or even English. 

 

Only cunts like the word gammon for anything other than a tasty food.

I didn't say I like the word. It just works when I want to describe one. I bet you put mint sauce on gammon you fucking shearing tool. 

[General Dryness]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

I didn't say I like the word. It just works when I want to describe one. I bet you put mint sauce on gammon you fucking shearing tool. 

You fucking love the word. It's your favourite one.

 

I bet you put hummus on your cornflakes, you fucking sealion.

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

You fucking love the word. It's your favourite one.

 

I bet you put hummus on your cornflakes, you fucking sealion.

It isn’t. 
 

I bet you put Tabasco sauce on your bog roll before you wipe your arse you fucking boarding pass 

[Heinze]

Tim Paine knew he was risking his career when he sent a female co-worker an unsolicited “dick pic”. The revelation comes after the Test captain sensationally quit on Friday.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Heinze said:

Tim Paine knew he was risking his career when he sent a female co-worker an unsolicited “dick pic”. The revelation comes after the Test captain sensationally quit on Friday.

Is that what he was crying about on the telly? Had SSN on but it was muted and saw him crying. Assumed they’d been ball tampering again or something. The sledging should be funny in the ashes. 

[Heinze]

Haha yeah. Apparently she started shopping her story to the rags for some cash.

 

They report that while some of the messages were too explicit to publish, the exchange included Paine suggesting to the woman: “Will you want to taste my *** ?? F*** me, I’m seriously hard.”