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Instant cunt identifiers

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Get 100 random people to line up against a wall. 95 of them are undoubtedly cunts.
 

No scientific identification analysis required, although if this was carried out the result would probably be nearer 98/100.  
 

 

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15 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People who shake their knee a lot when they're on the phone, especially in barber shops.

Not specifically when I am on the phone but I send my wife around the bend with my legs shaking without my even noticing it. She says she can't concentrate on the telly as she can see my legs going like Billy-o out of the corner of her eye.

 

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20 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Get 100 random people to line up against a wall. 95 of them are undoubtedly cunts.
 

No scientific identification analysis required, although if this was carried out the result would probably be nearer 98/100.  
 

 

Probably nearer 101 on here

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14 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People who tell you they're spiritual. 

 

"I've got a statue of an owl in my bathroom therefore I am Ra's al Ghul."

Got one of these cunts at work and she's a right lazy twat.

 

Places crystals all over her desk to balance her chakras but is always off sick when a load of work starts to appear or fucks off and hides when surprise jobs turn up.

 

Not sure how Chakras and prosecco mix but she's partial to both. The fucking weirdo.

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7 minutes ago, Preston Red said:

Got one of these cunts at work and she's a right lazy twat.

 

Places crystals all over her desk to balance her chakras but is always off sick when a load of work starts to appear or fucks off and hides when surprise jobs turn up.

 

Not sure how Chakras and prosecco mix but she's partial to both. The fucking weirdo.

Notice there's a direct correlation between people who are into crystals/chakras and people who bin bag their fellas every other week?

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19 minutes ago, Ken Robber said:

Notice there's a direct correlation between people who are into crystals/chakras and people who bin bag their fellas every other week?

She's been with her fella for a bit but that's because he's a shop steward here and paid well. She lived in a shithole before latching onto him.

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1 hour ago, sir roger said:

Not specifically when I am on the phone but I send my wife around the bend with my legs shaking without my even noticing it. She says she can't concentrate on the telly as she can see my legs going like Billy-o out of the corner of her eye.

 

Yes once you've noticed it, it's a strange one as I can't recall it bugging me or noticing it years ago. 

I take it that you eat at the table. 

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2 hours ago, easytoslip said:

Yes once you've noticed it, it's a strange one as I can't recall it bugging me or noticing it years ago. 

I take it that you eat at the table. 

I have to or I'd be 3 stone wringing wet.

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People who claim that technology always doesn't work for them. Currently working with a woman who's interactive whiteboard, ipad and laptop always fail when she needs them. Nothing to do with her cackhanded approach and inability to use them. 

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People who say things like 'that's just me' or 'that's the kind of person I am' when trying to excuse abhorrent behaviour.

 

It seems to have crept in via the only way is Essex type shows, the idea that you can say and do whatever you want to someone, rant and rave, unleash foul mouthed tirades, even be violent, as long as you qualify it with 'that's just me babe - I'm a passionate person and I wear my heart on my sleeve'.

 

It's kind of the reverse of what was old fashioned values. People may have wanted to say, do, wear what they wanted, but reined it in out of self respect and respect for others. 

 

Ladies and gentlemen.

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10 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

People who say things like 'that's just me' or 'that's the kind of person I am' when trying to excuse abhorrent behaviour.

 

It seems to have crept in via the only way is Essex type shows, the idea that you can say and do whatever you want to someone, rant and rave, unleash foul mouthed tirades, even be violent, as long as you qualify it with 'that's just me babe - I'm a passionate person and I wear my heart on my sleeve'.

 

It's kind of the reverse of what was old fashioned values. People may have wanted to say, do, wear what they wanted, but reined it in out of self respect and respect for others. 

 

Ladies and gentlemen.

"I just speak my mind". Don't, there's a dearth of material for you to work with.

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On 13/09/2021 at 07:11, Paulie Dangerously said:

People who claim that technology always doesn't work for them. Currently working with a woman who's interactive whiteboard, ipad and laptop always fail when she needs them. Nothing to do with her cackhanded approach and inability to use them. 

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4 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People who say things like 'that's just me' or 'that's the kind of person I am' when trying to excuse abhorrent behaviour.

 

It seems to have crept in via the only way is Essex type shows, the idea that you can say and do whatever you want to someone, rant and rave, unleash foul mouthed tirades, even be violent, as long as you qualify it with 'that's just me babe - I'm a passionate person and I wear my heart on my sleeve'.

 

It's kind of the reverse of what was old fashioned values. People may have wanted to say, do, wear what they wanted, but reined it in out of self respect and respect for others. 

 

Ladies and gentlemen.

My uncles wife is awful for this 

 

Has a habit of upsetting and putting people on edge at family functions purely because she's oblivious to how she comes across. Basically far too outspoken for her own good and can't take a hint when it's time to keep her mouth shut. 

 

Bring this up to her though and her excuse will always be "That's just me, I have no filter." 

 

 

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10 hours ago, Ken Robber said:

My uncles wife is awful for this 

 

Has a habit of upsetting and putting people on edge at family functions purely because she's oblivious to how she comes across. Basically far too outspoken for her own good and can't take a hint when it's time to keep her mouth shut. 

 

Bring this up to her though and her excuse will always be "That's just me, I have no filter." 

 

 

I had a similar conversation with a family member a while ago, he says "I just speak my mind, if they dont like it thats their problem", I said "do you not think constantly acting the cunt is the reason why less and less people are arsed with you as time goes on?". It didnt go well.

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2 hours ago, redinblack said:

I had a similar conversation with a family member a while ago, he says "I just speak my mind, if they dont like it thats their problem", I said "do you not think constantly acting the cunt is the reason why less and less people are arsed with you as time goes on?". It didnt go well.

Amazing how thin-skinned these warriors for truth tend to be when it flows in their direction. Whenever I hear the phrase ' Doesn't suffer fools gladly ' I know that in 99% of cases these people would have an fainting fit if somebody suggested they might be the fool.

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17 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People who say things like 'that's just me' or 'that's the kind of person I am' when trying to excuse abhorrent behaviour.

 

It seems to have crept in via the only way is Essex type shows, the idea that you can say and do whatever you want to someone, rant and rave, unleash foul mouthed tirades, even be violent, as long as you qualify it with 'that's just me babe - I'm a passionate person and I wear my heart on my sleeve'.

 

It's kind of the reverse of what was old fashioned values. People may have wanted to say, do, wear what they wanted, but reined it in out of self respect and respect for others. 

 

Ladies and gentlemen.

It's not "crept in" it's always been the same. The bellends who go "Yeah I'm off my head, don't let me have a tequila" or the bird with the picture of a cat on her desk on your first day "Oh you'll get to know me, I'm the mad one" and you never ever speak to or deal with her again. Anyone who has to say their a livewire is 999/1000 a boring, standard, usual, fade into the background no-entity cunt. 

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They're in power now though. A lot of contemporary culture actively encourages and celebrates it. 

 

Reality TV, music, "influencers", etc etc. 

 

As Kevin D says, whatever happened... 

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19 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People who say things like 'that's just me' or 'that's the kind of person I am' when trying to excuse abhorrent behaviour.

 

It seems to have crept in via the only way is Essex type shows, the idea that you can say and do whatever you want to someone, rant and rave, unleash foul mouthed tirades, even be violent, as long as you qualify it with 'that's just me babe - I'm a passionate person and I wear my heart on my sleeve'.

 

It's kind of the reverse of what was old fashioned values. People may have wanted to say, do, wear what they wanted, but reined it in out of self respect and respect for others. 

 

Ladies and gentlemen.

Lass on my college course a few years back who hit all the notes you mention. Such people also rarely allow knowing the least about a subject to be any impediment to dominating conversations about it. Ruined near on every single lecture with her endless fucking idiotic opinions, incorrectly questioning lecturers who’ve both worked in and taught the related profession for years on end. Without fail got shockingly bad grades, as revealed by bizarre tantrums each time our work got handed back out. 
 

One very basic exercise we had to do was write a short reflective piece about a healthcare-based situation we should have personally handled better, to a rigid structure they provided. As most did, I wrote about something appropriate and how I’ve subsequently improved it, with a brief example. Was sat behind her when our work was handed back. Mine just had a tick at the end of each paragraph and ‘Good job’ at the end, written in a red pen. Same for everyone else I could see - take one look at it, move on. She was having some kind of fit as I reviewed mine, so I looked up and over her shoulder could see half an essay under hers in red.
 

Asked her out of mock innocent curiosity what she’d picked out in herself as needing improvement, to prompt such fulsome and enthusiastic feedback. She said she’d written how a colleague had once fucked her off and she hadn’t really taken the chance to put her in her place and shout at her, so she’d been angry about that ever since.

 

Just a clueless bellend, who will go through her entire life oblivious to the amount of people at any one time just silently willing her to shut up and fuck off.

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2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

It's not "crept in" it's always been the same. The bellends who go "Yeah I'm off my head, don't let me have a tequila" or the bird with the picture of a cat on her desk on your first day "Oh you'll get to know me, I'm the mad one" and you never ever speak to or deal with her again. Anyone who has to say their a livewire is 999/1000 a boring, standard, usual, fade into the background no-entity cunt. 

Nah it's not, my parents'/grandparents were the exact opposite, obsessed with saving face and not washing dirty laundry in public, perception of how you carried yourself/how you dressed and behaved in public etc. 

 

Sometime around the early 2000s the concept of being a moron/rude and uncouth started to be seen as a good thing, rather than a bad thing.

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20 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People who say things like 'that's just me' or 'that's the kind of person I am' when trying to excuse abhorrent behaviour.

 

It seems to have crept in via the only way is Essex type shows, the idea that you can say and do whatever you want to someone, rant and rave, unleash foul mouthed tirades, even be violent, as long as you qualify it with 'that's just me babe - I'm a passionate person and I wear my heart on my sleeve'.

 

It's kind of the reverse of what was old fashioned values. People may have wanted to say, do, wear what they wanted, but reined it in out of self respect and respect for others. 

 

Ladies and gentlemen.

'I'm always late' ha-ha, what a quirky personality trait.

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7 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Nah it's not, my parents'/grandparents were the exact opposite, obsessed with saving face and not washing dirty laundry in public, perception of how you carried yourself/how you dressed and behaved in public etc. 

 

Sometime around the early 2000s the concept of being a moron/rude and uncouth started to be seen as a good thing, rather than a bad thing.

Soz Stringvest 

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