Instant cunt identifiers

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

Flip flops at any time, I don't care to look at men's toes, gross, vests and armpits too. 

Yep. 

[Jairzinho]

On 26/09/2020 at 23:42, Mudface said:

To be honest they look like bellends with more money than sense rather than winners.

 

My missus is a fitness instructor and does or teaches various classes from kettle bells to spin to bootcamp-style circuits. The people you're thinking of, along with the muscle Mary poseurs and sted heads, are objects of ridicule to her and her fellow instructors.

 

These are generally not particularly fit but have massively overtrained in a specific area and are very weak when asked to do something else. Think of your bodybuilder who can barely run or a runner with cheese string arms and a weak back who puts massive pressure on their knees because their posture is shit. Spending a fortune on a Peloton bike and the sub and revelling in 'muh gainz' is pointless unless you combine it with something else.

We get one of these nonces every few weeks playing the unmentionable sport with us. A mate of mate that fancied a game, etc. Everyone else just passing a ball about before we start the game, and these twats are pretending they're at a Mr Olympia competition. 

 

Always blowing our their arse after 10 minutes as they desperately try and haul around their melon sized biceps on their twiglet legs.

[Bjornebye]

Not my style but thats a gorgeous watch

[A Red]

People that admire watches are usually cunts

[Tony Moanero]

2 hours ago, A Red said:

People that admire watches are usually cunts

Nothing wrong with liking nice things. 

[Bruce Spanner]

5 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Watches are a curious phenenoman these days. Used to ubiquitous but the industry was destroyed by clocks  on mobile phones. Now its a niche market selling status symbols to mainly men. Some models cost £10,000s so the mark up must be immense. In effect you are saying "I'm so wealthy I don't mind being ripped off". Designer suits used to be the same, a Paul Smith suit costs £700 but probably less than £100 to make. There's are a lot of profit in selling things to people that make them look wealthy.

 

The irony of course is that truly rich people don't feel the need to advertise it so by wearing a £20,000 watch you are saying "I'm wealthy but on a global scale, probably not that wealthy". Warren Buffet lives in the same 3 bed house he bought 40 years ago but is worth billions. The richest bloke I personally know is probably worth £50m plus but drives a  battered old VW Tourag and only ever wears jeans and Marks and Spencers polo shirts. He hasn't got a watch. 

As I say, its a strange phenomena of modern life.  

 

Money talks whilst wealth whispers.

[Dougie Do'ins]

17 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Watches are a curious phenenoman these days. Used to ubiquitous but the industry was destroyed by clocks  on mobile phones. Now its a niche market selling status symbols to mainly men. Some models cost £10,000s so the mark up must be immense. In effect you are saying "I'm so wealthy I don't mind being ripped off". Designer suits used to be the same, a Paul Smith suit costs £700 but probably less than £100 to make. There's are a lot of profit in  The richest bloke I personally know is probably worth £50m plus but drives a  battered old VW Tourag and only ever wears jeans and Marks and Spencers polo shirts. He hasn't got a watch. 

As I say, its a strange phenomena of modern life.  

 

I bet he lives in a big fucking house, has the best holidays, eats the best food and has a trophy wife who spends money like it's going out of fashion. 

[Mudface]

16 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

We get one of these nonces every few weeks playing the unmentionable sport with us. A mate of mate that fancied a game, etc. Everyone else just passing a ball about before we start the game, and these twats are pretending they're at a Mr Olympia competition. 

 

Always blowing our their arse after 10 minutes as they desperately try and haul around their melon sized biceps on their twiglet legs.

[Elite]

Calf size is genetic, so there's not much they can do about it really. Still look ridiculous though when their upper body is ravaged with water and their lower body resembles a Roald Dahl character.

[A Red]

8 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Nothing wrong with liking nice things. 

Oh I agree, it was aimed at stig in jest

[Tony Moanero]

3 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Watches are a curious phenenoman these days. Used to ubiquitous but the industry was destroyed by clocks  on mobile phones. Now its a niche market selling status symbols to mainly men. Some models cost £10,000s so the mark up must be immense. In effect you are saying "I'm so wealthy I don't mind being ripped off". Designer suits used to be the same, a Paul Smith suit costs £700 but probably less than £100 to make. There's are a lot of profit in selling things to people that make them look wealthy.

 

The irony of course is that truly rich people don't feel the need to advertise it so by wearing a £20,000 watch you are saying "I'm wealthy but on a global scale, probably not that wealthy". Warren Buffet lives in the same 3 bed house he bought 40 years ago but is worth billions. The richest bloke I personally know is probably worth £50m plus but drives a  battered old VW Tourag and only ever wears jeans and Marks and Spencers polo shirts. He hasn't got a watch. 

As I say, its a strange phenomena of modern life.  

 

My grandad, a factory worker, his father a docker, used to say “Buy the best that you can afford” and “Buy cheap, buy twice”. I tend to agree. I haven’t got a pot to piss in nowadays, but have previously owned some nice watches, clothes, art, etc. There’s nothing wrong with having, say, a well-made classic, albeit expensive watch. Some people buy things because they appreciate the aesthetics and craftsmanship, others buy things purely to show off and demonstrate their wealth. There’s a difference. 

[cloggypop]

I haven't got an expensive watch. 

 

 

Or a Porsche. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

I've got a Casio G-Shock. It's blue.

 

*pimp walk*

[General Dryness]

17 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Not my style but thats a gorgeous watch

Cunt.

[Section_31]

11 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

My grandad, a factory worker, his father a docker, used to say “Buy the best that you can afford” and “Buy cheap, buy twice”. I tend to agree. I haven’t got a pot to piss in nowadays, but have previously owned some nice watches, clothes, art, etc. There’s nothing wrong with having, say, a well-made classic, albeit expensive watch.   Some people buy things because they appreciate the aesthetics and craftsmanship, others buy things purely to show off and demonstrate their wealth. There’s a difference. 

Yep.

 

Some expensive watches are pretty garish and tasteless, but wealthy people often own them because they hold their value. It's basically like having a gold bullion next to your bed in the event HMRC ever freeze your accounts.

 

I like watches but have never owned a super expensive one, dearest probably about 300 quid, my favourite cost me about 60 in a sale. I like having a variety as they're basically the only accessory a man will often wear. 

[Bjornebye]

If I had a spare million I wouldn't spend 10k on a Rolex no matter how nice it is. I know a fella who owns a few boss watches, never wears them, keeps them in a safe and will get them out to show people when they go round. Its his life/money etc but I do wonder, whats the fucking point. Didn't Simon Jordan get a 100k plus watch nicked off him driving through Croydon in a Maserati Gran-Turismo? I mean fucking hell. It shouldn't happen but why??? Why?! Twat. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

That’s Croydon for you. Also Maserati’s are poor man’s Ferrari so he deserves it. That said, I quite like him. As I’ve mentioned before I went to school with Steve Parish (CPFC chairman) so I find the Twitter feud between him and Simon quite entertaining. 

Simon Jordans book wasn't that bad at all. I still think he's a prick. 

[John102]

That Rainbow video just come up on Facebook. Done the round loads over years, the one with loads of innuendo in it, apparently done for Christmas party or something. 

 

Anyway...the cunts in the comments who swear this is an actual episode and they remember it being broadcast as kid. Maybe an individual thing, but can't stand the lying cunts. 

[Mook]

13 minutes ago, John102 said:

That Rainbow video just come up on Facebook. Done the round loads over years, the one with loads of innuendo in it, apparently done for Christmas party or something. 

 

Anyway...the cunts in the comments who swear this is an actual episode and they remember it being broadcast as kid. Maybe an individual thing, but can't stand the lying cunts. 

I was wondering why they made that. It's fucking genius.

 

As is this...

 

 

[Bruce Spanner]

Anyone who starts a sentence with the word ‘listen’.

 

Nah, fuck off I'm going feign deafness and ignore whatever self aggrandising nonsense is going to be spewed forth from your face hole, chump. 

[lifetime fan]

On 03/10/2020 at 21:21, Colonel Kurtz said:

That’s Croydon for you. Also Maserati’s are poor man’s Ferrari so he deserves it. That said, I quite like him. As I’ve mentioned before I went to school with Steve Parish (CPFC chairman) so I find the Twitter feud between him and Simon quite entertaining. 

Both Jordan and Parish are massive cunts without any redeeming features. 

[sir roger]

4 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Anyone who says “I’m a perfectionist “. In my experience they’re are saying “I’m a self obsessed cunt who is going to be a nightmare to work with”. 

If they also say they don't suffer fools gladly just find another job, as they will criticise every single thing about everybody else but have a heart attack and never stop going on about it if the slightest shade is thrown at them.

[Geoff Woade]

29 minutes ago, sir roger said:

If they also say they don't suffer fools gladly just find another job, as they will criticise every single thing about everybody else but have a heart attack and never stop going on about it if the slightest shade is thrown at them.

People who say they don’t suffer fools gladly usually fail to see the irony in their statement.

 

[Tony Moanero]

I’m a perfectionist. It’s the bain of my life, as I’m fucking shit at most things.

[Strontium]

On 03/10/2020 at 23:05, John102 said:

That Rainbow video just come up on Facebook. Done the round loads over years, the one with loads of innuendo in it, apparently done for Christmas party or something. 

 

Anyway...the cunts in the comments who swear this is an actual episode and they remember it being broadcast as kid. Maybe an individual thing, but can't stand the lying cunts. 

 

Sounds more like a false memory (Mandela Effect) than mass lying.