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Instant cunt identifiers

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23 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

People who sing along to tunes in shops. Was stood next to a fella today who clearly thought the Sinatra song he was murdering should've been a duet.

Playing air guitar along to Are You Gonna Go My Way in Asda would be ok though?*

 

*asking for a friend who may have done this last night

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5 minutes ago, Mook said:

Playing air guitar along to Are You Gonna Go My Way in Asda would be ok though?*

 

*asking for a friend who may have done this last night

That's fine, as is miming the drum fill from In The Air Tonight.

 

It's the mumbling shop singers that get on my tits. Either keep it in your head or - at worst -have the bottle to be a nut job and belt it out like Barry from Eastenders at the bowls. There was an old boy on a bus in London who started singing Danny Boy at the top of his lungs and it was beautiful. 

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Worse than singers are whistlers. I remember being in Tescos once and this old cunt was whistling, what I can only assume, bird impressions. It went right through me, I could hear him all over the store, the annoying irritating bastard.

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5 minutes ago, A Red said:

Worse than singers are whistlers. I remember being in Tescos once and this old cunt was whistling, what I can only assume, bird impressions. It went right through me, I could hear him all over the store, the annoying irritating bastard.

Yes , why do these whistling cunts think it’s ok to annoy the fuck out of people.

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On 28/02/2020 at 02:49, easytoslip said:

This does my head in , the cunts who speak out loud on the train talking business, can I run that through with you , I’ve emailed him/ her, I’ll see you at the meeting, that type of shite. As someone said as if they’re some type of oil magnate or something, usually in a blue suit and brown pointy shoes, sorry if I’ve offended anyone as this seems to be some kind of trend, phone constantly on the ear or tapping away. 

You cant get any ear plugs that shuts them out , them and the crisp eaters.

Trigger suits

 

 

350D3019-5FF8-4C25-91A9-78D9EDD46694.jpeg

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4 hours ago, A Red said:

Worse than singers are whistlers. I remember being in Tescos once and this old cunt was whistling, what I can only assume, bird impressions. It went right through me, I could hear him all over the store, the annoying irritating bastard.

 

4 hours ago, easytoslip said:

Yes , why do these whistling cunts think it’s ok to annoy the fuck out of people.

Fuck the pair o yer, nothing beats a good tuneless whistle, especially when you have your headphones on and know it’s driving some other cunt round the bend.

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1 minute ago, easytoslip said:

Don’t get it mate.

The blue suit that has been de rigeur for the last few years, is a trigger suit. Ie very much of the same hue as the one in the picture, worn by the actor Roger Lloyd-Pack in his magnificent performance as Trigger, the idiot street cleaner of Only Fools and Horses Fame

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8 minutes ago, Michael Winstanley said:

 

Fuck the pair o yer, nothing beats a good tuneless whistle, especially when you have your headphones on and know it’s driving some other cunt round the bend.

Can’t see the pleasure of doing someone’s head to be honest, I think for some it’s some type of habit , a strange one at that. Twattish behaviour.

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1 minute ago, easytoslip said:

Can’t see the pleasure of doing someone’s head to be honest, I think for some it’s some type of habit , a strange one at that. Twattish behaviour.

Everyone has something that others will find twattish, this just happens to be one of mine.

and Plenty of people enjoy winding others up, just a touch, it’s part of the ride.

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4 minutes ago, Michael Winstanley said:

Everyone has something that others will find twattish, this just happens to be one of mine.

and Plenty of people enjoy winding others up, just a touch, it’s part of the ride.

Righto. People who say I’m a bit of a wind up merchant, a twat of thing to say, are usually just irritants and crashing bores.

I used to work with a mate who whistled all the time and sometimes he’d mimic a passing sound like a parrot, not to mention the tunes that you couldn’t make out, not that you really wanted to, good lad though.

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28 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

I whistle all the time in work. 

I whistle at me missus every now and again, she goes fucking spare.

then I say I couldn’t remember her name and she lets me off.

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22 hours ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

That's fine, as is miming the drum fill from In The Air Tonight.

 

It's the mumbling shop singers that get on my tits. Either keep it in your head or - at worst -have the bottle to be a nut job and belt it out like Barry from Eastenders at the bowls. There was an old boy on a bus in London who started singing Danny Boy at the top of his lungs and it was beautiful. 

I was coming home on the bus after a night on the lash a few years back.  This drunken old dear behind me started singing Hank Thompson's "The Wild Side of Life". Some other people were sniggering at her, so I did what was (to my piss-addled brain) the decent thing and joined in with her.

 

It felt good.

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54 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

I was coming home on the bus after a night on the lash a few years back.  This drunken old dear behind me started singing Hank Thompson's "The Wild Side of Life". Some other people were sniggering at her, so I did what was (to my piss-addled brain) the decent thing and joined in with her.

 

It felt good.

 

 

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Used to know some bad prick wind up merchant. He said he was in town once and just decided to go over to some lad in a bar in concert square and pour a pint over his head just "to see what he'd do".  Obviously the lad wasnt 6 foot 5 and would look like he'd kick the shit out of him. 

 

Also decided to walk over to some Irish fellas table and dropped his mobile in his pint. Then told him it was just a joke and he should lighten up. 

 

I really hope he's been filled in a few times since I last saw him. 

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18 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Used to know some bad prick wind up merchant. He said he was in town once and just decided to go over to some lad in a bar in concert square and pour a pint over his head just "to see what he'd do".  Obviously the lad wasnt 6 foot 5 and would look like he'd kick the shit out of him. 

 

Also decided to walk over to some Irish fellas table and dropped his mobile in his pint. Then told him it was just a joke and he should lighten up. 

 

I really hope he's been filled in a few times since I last saw him. 

He probably has, the twat.

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51 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

He probably has, the twat.

I fucking hope so. I worked with his Mrs and went to their wedding. The best man actually told the pint pouring story as part of his speech. A few cunts laughed but the ret shook their heads.

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On 10/03/2020 at 14:27, Babb'sBurstNad said:

People who sing along to tunes in shops. Was stood next to a fella today who clearly thought the Sinatra song he was murdering should've been a duet.

Obviously got Crooner Virus

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5 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Used to know some bad prick wind up merchant. He said he was in town once and just decided to go over to some lad in a bar in concert square and pour a pint over his head just "to see what he'd do".  Obviously the lad wasnt 6 foot 5 and would look like he'd kick the shit out of him. 

 

Also decided to walk over to some Irish fellas table and dropped his mobile in his pint. Then told him it was just a joke and he should lighten up. 

 

I really hope he's been filled in a few times since I last saw him. 

He sounds a fucking hoot.

 

 

 

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