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Instant cunt identifiers


Remmie
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I share my cabin with one of the soloist musicians on the ship. They are without a doubt the laziest fucking people working here so having to share a cabin with one is infuriating. 

 

Guy literally works 4 hours a day then complains he spends too much time on the ship and wants a vessel transfer. Meanwhile I'm up at 7AM every morning and clocking out at 11PM, he's sat on his fat arse in the cabin wanking and watching Star Wars all day 

 

Makes me wanna vote Tory so hard I snap the pencil ticking the ballot box.

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16 minutes ago, Ken Robber said:

I share my cabin with one of the soloist musicians on the ship. They are without a doubt the laziest fucking people working here so having to share a cabin with one is infuriating. 

 

Guy literally works 4 hours a day then complains he spends too much time on the ship and wants a vessel transfer. Meanwhile I'm up at 7AM every morning and clocking out at 11PM, he's sat on his fat arse in the cabin wanking and watching Star Wars all day 

 

Makes me wanna vote Tory so hard I snap the pencil ticking the ballot box.

Musicians provide one of the few things on Earth that make it worth carrying on & should be given a fuckload of slack.

 

Unless he does any Robbie Williams covers, in which case - gut him in his sleep.

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  • 3 weeks later...
10 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Blokes wearing flip flops anywhere other than the beach.

Its that time of year where cunts go out on the piss on a saturday night wearing flip flops, shorts and sunglasses on their head

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On 21/05/2019 at 15:32, Section_31 said:

Anyone with multiple Facebook accounts and tries to add you with them all, or says 'this is my new one I've had some bother with the old one'. Usually indicative of the fact they conduct all their personal business on Facebook (usually with their ex) and it pretty much always descends into such a clusterf*ck they have to go off and start again, but also enjoy the drama of having to do so. 

 

Anyone who goes on about Aldi and Lidl as though they've personally discovered it and it's a source of great life-changing bargains. The Middle Classes are quite bad for this I find. 

 

As Tom Ross once said about Susan Boyle: "It's not that she's a good singer, it's that she's not as bad as you expect her to be'. 

 

The same can be said of Aldi and Lidle. They're shit, or middling at best, the entire selling point of them - even from people who like them - is never that 'their whisky/cornflakes etc are amazing', it's always that 'they're not that bad you know, considering'. 

 

People used to get beaten up if it was found their parents shopped at Aldi, and rightly so. Elegant behaviour from a more civilised age. 

Aldi's fancy yoghurts and their fancy lolly ices are amazing though, that's all I go in for. 

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1 hour ago, A Red said:

Its that time of year where cunts go out on the piss on a saturday night wearing flip flops, shorts and sunglasses on their head

The thing I really can't comprehend is how they can walk into a gents loo with such footwear. When I'm treading in there I want at least a covered foot and preferably a one inch sole.

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1 hour ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

The thing I really can't comprehend is how they can walk into a gents loo with such footwear. When I'm treading in there I want at least a covered foot and preferably a one inch sole.

Simon Cowell over here 

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On 22/05/2019 at 22:43, Ken Robber said:

 

Guy literally works 4 hours a day... he's sat on his fat arse in the cabin wanking and watching Star Wars all day 

 

Makes me wanna vote Tory so hard I snap the pencil ticking the ballot box.

The politics of envy.

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On 23/05/2019 at 09:43, Ken Robber said:

I share my cabin with one of the soloist musicians on the ship. They are without a doubt the laziest fucking people working here so having to share a cabin with one is infuriating. 

 

Guy literally works 4 hours a day then complains he spends too much time on the ship and wants a vessel transfer. Meanwhile I'm up at 7AM every morning and clocking out at 11PM, he's sat on his fat arse in the cabin wanking and watching Star Wars all day 

 

Makes me wanna vote Tory so hard I snap the pencil ticking the ballot box.

Learn an instrument, it's a piece of piss. Obviously. 

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6 hours ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Blokes wearing flip flops anywhere other than the beach.

Fuck that

I'll wear them downstairs in the house or even to local shops if it warm. I'm in shorts all year round anyway

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1 hour ago, Jairzinho said:

Are you a postman?

I just can't stand the heat. 

Always been like it, if it gets above the mid 20s I'm dying. And after being sick the other year its only got worse. While I was in hospital they literally had a standing  fan going at least 22 hours a day for 5 months

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