Instant cunt identifiers

[Carvalho Diablo]

I hate those out of sync drinkers. It's like when you first go out with a girl and you have to learn how to synchronise your walking.

Oh, you said walking.

 

Excuse me.

[Mook]

People who wear baseball caps.

 

I went into the boozer yesterday & was stood there minding my own business when I noticed that one baseball capped bellend kept saying 'Liam Gallagher' for some reason, I eventually cottoned on that he was wandering round his mates pointing me out & calling me Liam Gallagher. He was in his 30s this boy & one of his pals was taking the piss out of him for having two love bites on his neck & he had the fucking cheek to be trying to take the piss out of me. The people on here who have met me will be able to tell you I look fuck all like Liam Gallagher anyway.

 

Quite funny in the end, he went up to the semi hot bird in their group & went "Look there's Liam Gallagher standing up there." & the bird just looked at him like he had three heads.

[Harry Squatter]

I hate those out of sync drinkers. It's like when you first go out with a girl and you have to learn how to synchronise your walking.

Me and my mate were away last week and we sat outside this packed bar. Some street entertainer we saw on the Metro came up and started singing outside the bar. The couple next to us were American and started having a laugh with us. Spent about 20 minutes talking to them and getting on alright with them.

 

I was out of a drink so decides to buy a round and got them a glass of red wine each which they seemed made up about. They then started telling me and my mate about how great their jobs were and how amazing they were for being Americans living in Germany and travelling round Europe.

 

They seemed to take an eternity to drink their drinks. In the meantime both me and my mate were looking at them to see if they had noticed us finishing off ours. Nothing, they just kept sipping their red wine like they were in the Sahara desert and that was the only bit of water for 100 miles.

 

My mate ordered another one just for us two and they seemed put out that we hadn't asked them what they wanted despite the fact that they were drinking slower than any human I've ever encountered. Again we got to the dregs of our drinks and no indication that they were going to but us one. My mate just got up and told them some lame excuse that we had to go and meet some other mates.

 

I'm not sure what the culture is in America on drinking etiquette but I'm sure these two were just a pair of tight cunts.

[setreal]

got to be kidding.  You can buy about 10 for £3 in Primark.  A collaboration between Primark, Kim Jong-Un and Marti Pellow.  They outdo that other cunt in both the shit music and the gangsta violence Top Tumps.

 

As sad as it is, it is real.

[stringvest]

Me and my mate were away last week and we sat outside this packed bar. Some street entertainer we saw on the Metro came up and started singing outside the bar. The couple next to us were American and started having a laugh with us. Spent about 20 minutes talking to them and getting on alright with them.

 

I was out of a drink so decides to buy a round and got them a glass of red wine each which they seemed made up about. They then started telling me and my mate about how great their jobs were and how amazing they were for being Americans living in Germany and travelling round Europe.

 

They seemed to take an eternity to drink their drinks. In the meantime both me and my mate were looking at them to see if they had noticed us finishing off ours. Nothing, they just kept sipping their red wine like they were in the Sahara desert and that was the only bit of water for 100 miles.

 

My mate ordered another one just for us two and they seemed put out that we hadn't asked them what they wanted despite the fact that they were drinking slower than any human I've ever encountered. Again we got to the dregs of our drinks and no indication that they were going to but us one. My mate just got up and told them some lame excuse that we had to go and meet some other mates.

 

I'm not sure what the culture is in America on drinking etiquette but I'm sure these two were just a pair of tight cunts.

 

 

They don't really drink.  They're always more right wing than you expect them to be as well.  Stay well clear.  

[Alan Sex]

My brother in law and his wife were invited to 'brunch' by a couple of her mates (who are cunts) - and instructed to meet up at 13:30.

 

The cunts.

Bastards. That's getting well into Linner time.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I'm not opposed to tatttoos , despite having none , but I'm telling you now if you've got a tattoo on your neck or anywhere at all above chest level , you are one absolute massive top hat.

[Bjornebye]

I'm not opposed to tatttoos , despite having none , but I'm telling you now if you've got a tattoo on your neck or anywhere at all above chest level , you are one absolute massive top hat.

You've got TOWIE on haven't you

[Jim MM]

Yeah. Any cunt who's a shark? He's a cunt.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Me and my mate were away last week and we sat outside this packed bar. Some street entertainer we saw on the Metro came up and started singing outside the bar. The couple next to us were American and started having a laugh with us. Spent about 20 minutes talking to them and getting on alright with them.

 

I was out of a drink so decides to buy a round and got them a glass of red wine each which they seemed made up about. They then started telling me and my mate about how great their jobs were and how amazing they were for being Americans living in Germany and travelling round Europe.

 

They seemed to take an eternity to drink their drinks. In the meantime both me and my mate were looking at them to see if they had noticed us finishing off ours. Nothing, they just kept sipping their red wine like they were in the Sahara desert and that was the only bit of water for 100 miles.

 

My mate ordered another one just for us two and they seemed put out that we hadn't asked them what they wanted despite the fact that they were drinking slower than any human I've ever encountered. Again we got to the dregs of our drinks and no indication that they were going to but us one. My mate just got up and told them some lame excuse that we had to go and meet some other mates.

 

I'm not sure what the culture is in America on drinking etiquette but I'm sure these two were just a pair of tight cunts.

100 %

 

After drinking with a couple of Yanks some years ago in Florence, we nicknamed them "Froth Sippers". We went through about six pints to their one, and they looked at us like we were the ones with a drinking problem ?!

 

Even if I tried I just could not drink that slowly. They seem to have an unnatural ability to dip their top lip into the glass, coat it with booze and then sit chatting shite for 10 minutes whilst it evaporates. Then and only then will they dare go in for another sip.

 

Getting wound up just thinking about it now, fucking Froth sipping cunts.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

You've got TOWIE on haven't you

 

Haha, no I've been lucky enought to not watcht hat for a good while now, that Gemma was a bit of alright though, wawaweewah.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Haha, no I've been lucky enought to not watcht hat for a good while now, that Gemma was a bit of alright though, wawaweewah.

 

I remember when that celebrity diving show was on ITV and Lady D wanted to watch it.  I hate all those kinds of things but when she flicked it on and I saw Gemma Collins sat crying on the diving board steps eating a mars bar having dived from less than 6" I thought we should give it a chance

[Bjornebye]

Bird I'm staying with watches Towie , its a load of.arse however 2 girls in it are seriously fit so I don't mind.

[RedKnight]

People who think it's fine to take their shoes off in the gym and then, today, the worst offender of all -  a girl decided it was absolutely okay to walk around the gym, go on the cross trainer, barefoot. She might have been athletic and good looking but no shoes in a public place like that is the ultimate in narcissism. Cunt.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I'm going out on a limb here - I reckon systematically bullying your children and filming it for the entertainment of strangers is quite cuntish.

 

https://uk.yahoo.com/news/youtubers-lose-custody-children-philip-defranco-highlights-abuse-videos-102501052.html

 

The 700,000 subscribers who tuned in to every instance of child abuse are monumental cunts too.

[General Dryness]

I'm going out on a limb here - I reckon systematically bullying your children and filming it for the entertainment of strangers is quite cuntish.

 

https://uk.yahoo.com/news/youtubers-lose-custody-children-philip-defranco-highlights-abuse-videos-102501052.html

 

The 700,000 subscribers who tuned in to every instance of child abuse are monumental cunts too.

 

There aren't enough punches in the world for those parents stupid ignorant faces.

 

I'd give it a try like.

[Remmie]

Fucking attention seeking boy racer virgins who get the exhaust system amplified so they can play f1. Then flooring it at 11pm after having had to endure their epic taste in music

[SammyAftershave]

Those motorbike/moped things with sewing machine engines that youths of today ride flat out making far more noise than they should. Always with 'L' plates on.

 

Cunts!

[lifetime fan]

Anyone using these.

 

 

[RedKnight]

There's not enough pipe smokers around these days for my money.

[General Dryness]

Is that a vaping thing in the shape of a pipe?

 

Crivens.

[RedKnight]

If that's the case then that's not acceptable.

[General Dryness]

Certainly is not.

 

I love the smell of pipe smoke, but it'll go the way of the cigarette. 

[lifetime fan]

Is that a vaping thing in the shape of a pipe?

 

Crivens.

 

 

Yep.

 

Saw some cunt with one in the shape of a crack pipe the other day too. 

[General Dryness]

Yep.

 

Saw some cunt with one in the shape of a crack pipe the other day too. 

 

Fucking hell.

 

They should just do one in the shape of a cock and have done with it.