Instant cunt identifiers

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I have. Even the instructor has complained about it. The managers are useless and aren't arsed unfortunately. I think it would involve to much effort for them.

 

There's a Saturday morning class I go to that's always full and a couple of them just get there about 30 minutes early and put their gear over the bikes like they are reserving a sunbed on holiday.

I'd guess then the problem might be that their system doesn't have the facility to identify/count non attendees and ban them from making bookings etc. If that's the case there's no way thr managers will put the effort in to do it manually.

 

Do they take attendance in the class in any way?

[Harry Squatter]

Sometimes they take a register but if there's a few empty places they don't bother. One class had five extra people turn up but they were just cheeky cunts who just wanted to geg in after another class had just finished.

[Champ]

middle class women talking about Rugby. all of a sudden

Maybe you've just noticed all of a sudden.

 

Loads of women have always gone to the rugby

[stringvest]

It's alright, Rugby's done now until next year when the corporates get together for another jolly. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Using the phrase "the gig economy" to describe the latest fad in worker exploitation.

[Curly]

Some fella on LinkedIn has this as his job title - 'Director, Digital Analyst, Social Hand grenade'. You missed off cunt, you cunt.

[General Dryness]

Some fella on LinkedIn has this as his job title - 'Director, Digital Analyst, Social Hand grenade'. You missed off cunt, you cunt.

The most obvious difference between him and a real hand grenade is that when he bowls into a room, the occupants only wish they were dead.

[Dr Nowt]

I believe this article refers to just such a cunt:

 

Stag dos increasingly run by the biggest tosser you'll ever meet

06-08-10

 

EXPENSIVE, lengthy stag trips are usually organised by some total prick who won’t leave you alone for five minutes, according to new research.

 

The Institute for Studies found that, in any given social circle, custodianship of the stag trip will almost always fall to an arse that no one else has met before, but who was apparently ‘mental’ at university. They will be called ‘Duncs’, ‘Mikey’ or ‘Shamrock’.

 

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “These people work in management somewhere like Carphone Warehouse, and are the personification of FHM magazine.

 

“The groom will never, ever have mentioned them before announcing the wedding. God knows where these people come from. Maybe there’s a secret prick factory hidden somewhere in the East Midlands.”

 

He added: “You usually receive the first of several hundred emails about six months before any planned trip. It will be headed something like ‘Ola Compadres’ and outline the many expensive, high-testosterone compulsory activities planned, including something called ‘skelfing’ that involves jumping naked into a volcano with a bit of bailer twine around your ankle.

 

“The whole thing will be organised with militaristic precision, cost as much as a small house and if you exhibit anything less than rabid enthusiasm you will be branded a ‘whingeing gaylord’.

 

“And, of course, you will have to wear a t-shirt with ‘Captain Fanny’s Vagina Hunters 2010’ printed on it.”

 

Professor Brubaker stressed that stag events have not always been such an unconscionable pain in the arse, adding: “Until 1996 all you needed was a function room and a few bags of McCoys.

 

“The whole thing was over and done with in about six hours and at no point did anyone have to get on a fucking jet ski.”

[manwiththestick]

Haha. I cringe like fuck whenever I see a gang of lads (or hen do's tbf) "on tour", printed t-shirts and top bants a plenty.

 

I have been on plenty of stag nights/weekends but most have been nothing more than an extended piss up with a bunch of decent mates.

[cloggypop]

Some fella on LinkedIn has this as his job title - 'Director, Digital Analyst, Social Hand grenade'. You missed off cunt, you cunt.

He certainly sounds like a fucking weapon

[Section_31]

Some bloke on my LinkedIn describes himself as a 'visionary'. In fact anyone on LinkedIn is a cunt, including me.

[Harry Squatter]

Heard some woman saying her daughter had a baby yesterday and named it Jaxxon. The parents must be utter cunts.

[Harry Squatter]

Some bloke on my LinkedIn describes himself as a 'visionary'. In fact anyone on LinkedIn is a cunt, including me.

Probably just works in a call centre cold calling people for blag accident claims.

[cloggypop]

Heard some woman saying her daughter had a baby yesterday and named it Jaxxon. The parents must be utter cunts.

Sounds like an old Spectrum game

[Carvalho Diablo]

Heard some woman saying her daughter had a baby yesterday and named it Jaxxon. The parents must be utter cunts.

My best mate's step daughter and her fella called their son exactly the same, spelt the same way too.

 

And you're spot on, they're both utter cunts.

[PestiRed]

Jaxxon Bollox

[Harry Squatter]

My mate has just started a new business and advertised for 2 jobs last week. Some lad that we both know asked him for a job. I generally think this lad is a cunt as he only talks to you when he wants something. He's actually ignored me on several occasions yet contacts me on Facebook to do some fundraising for his Mrs' charity and tickets for LFC. The cunt never said thank you when I sorted him out with 2 tickets last year. I just deleted him off my friends list and haven't bothered with him since.

 

Anyway, my mate decides to give him a job and put him on a training course which cost 500 quid. My mate rang him and left a message on his phone saying he got the job and could he come in to get fitted for a uniform. No answer. He contacts him by text and Facebook. No reply so my mate rings up the training company to ask can he have his money back on the course but the company say no because it's too late.

 

My mate again contacts this lad saying he needs him to confirm whether he's taking the job and if not he's going to be £500 out of pocket. Still nothing and my mates loses £500.

 

We were at a a kids party before and all 3 of us were there. This lad completely blanked my mate all night in the knowledge that he's £500 out of pocket because he's too much of a weird cunt to tell him that he wants the job. Told my mate to confront him over it but he said he wants this lad to come to him. I told him that he is a tit and won't bother. Proper cunt behaviour but I think my mate needs to just have it out with him because he'll just think he's had him off.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

My mate has just started a new business and advertised for 2 jobs last week. Some lad that we both know asked him for a job. I generally think this lad is a cunt as he only talks to you when he wants something. He's actually ignored me on several occasions yet contacts me on Facebook to do some fundraising for his Mrs' charity and tickets for LFC. The cunt never said thank you when I sorted him out with 2 tickets last year. I just deleted him off my friends list and haven't bothered with him since.

 

Anyway, my mate decides to give him a job and put him on a training course which cost 500 quid. My mate rang him and left a message on his phone saying he got the job and could he come in to get fitted for a uniform. No answer. He contacts him by text and Facebook. No reply so my mate rings up the training company to ask can he have his money back on the course but the company say no because it's too late.

 

My mate again contacts this lad saying he needs him to confirm whether he's taking the job and if not he's going to be £500 out of pocket. Still nothing and my mates loses £500.

 

We were at a a kids party before and all 3 of us were there. This lad completely blanked my mate all night in the knowledge that he's £500 out of pocket because he's too much of a weird cunt to tell him that he wants the job. Told my mate to confront him over it but he said he wants this lad to come to him. I told him that he is a tit and won't bother. Proper cunt behaviour but I think my mate needs to just have it out with him because he'll just think he's had him off.

 

Sounds like a right cunt. If it were me, the offer would have been revoked already and the job given to someone else.

[Harry Squatter]

Sounds like a right cunt. If it were me, the offer would have been revoked already and the job given to someone else.

He's a total twat. My mate has just texted me after last night saying he's offered some other fella the job. I'd still be annoyed about him costing £500 because he could not be arsed texting him back.

 

He actually walked past both of us last night at the kids party and almost fell over himself trying to ignore us both.

[Dr Nowt]

 

The swamp creature holding the doll has just been stood outside a busy hospital front entrance, shadow boxing and swaggering up and down giving people hard looks.

 

Outstanding.

[Bjornebye]

Looks an utter bellend him Ben 

[Dr Nowt]

Aye, he apologised for being in my way inside. I said fine and went to carry on, when he started blaming the doll.

 

Sorry to hear about that accident with a thresher your head had, mate.

[Bjornebye]

Aye, he apologised for being in my way inside. I said fine and went to carry on, when he started blaming the doll.

 

Sorry to hear about that accident with a thresher your head had, mate.

 

 

What the fuck was he doing with the doll? One of his pikey kids find his stash? 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

 

The swamp creature holding the doll has just been stood outside a busy hospital front entrance, shadow boxing and swaggering up and down giving people hard looks.

 

Outstanding.

 

I always laugh at those chubby types wearing muscle tops. They think they look intimidating, far from it. Fucking state of the pair of cunts, deffo cunts, probably grade A cunts to boot. 

[Dr Nowt]

What the fuck was he doing with the doll? One of his pikey kids find his stash?

Him and his mate had a conversation about it, and among 137 iterations of the word mush and them lamenting they hadn't nicked it given it cost £24, it appears it was for a family member of some sort.

 

Whoever she is the poor lass doesn't stand a chance. The doll was comfortably the most evolved of that trio.