Instant cunt identifiers

[sir roger]

When they dig my patio up , I'm going with the 'Aquarius Defence '

[Bjornebye]

[YorkshireRed]

8 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

 

Not a single Scorpio on that list.

 

Because we’re too good at it to be caught. Unlike those Virgos. They’re a fucking shambles and a disgrace to the noble art. 

[Captain Willard]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not a single Scorpio on that list.

 

Because we’re too good at it to be caught. Unlike those Virgos. They’re a fucking shambles and a disgrace to the noble art. 

Or a Taurus. 

[sir roger]

Seems a bit odd that they all fall within 4 sections.

[Captain Willard]

3 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Seems a bit odd that they all fall within 4 sections.

Fred west was a Libra. 

[A Red]

I think star signs are a load of bollocks but that's me, typical gemini

[Gnasher]

45 minutes ago, A Red said:

I think star signs are a load of bollocks but that's me, typical gemini

Star signs are certainly not "a load or bollocks" each person of each sign share very unncanny similarities. For example, you should find that nearly all Gemini's hold birthdays around the month of June.

[sir roger]

2 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Fred west was a Libra. 

Oi , bumsies is extra , sunshoine.

[Evelyn Tentions]

4 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

 

An under representation  of Cancer. I'll have to do something about that 

[Captain Willard]

8 hours ago, sir roger said:

Oi , bumsies is extra , sunshoine.

My favourite ever Gf anecdote. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Serif fonts.

[Furmedge]

Women picking their kids up from school wearing pyjamas.  Great example to your kids there.

[Section_31]

Anyone who uses the phrase 'personal news klaxon' on social media, usually followed by some kind of job move. 

 

"Personal news klaxon. So after five amazing years with the amazing people at Fuck & Fuckhead Ltd I'll be moving to Who Gives a Fuck Incorporated as their new head of Fuck. My old job is going so if you want to work with my truly amazing and inspirational colleagues, put your CV in quick!"

 

These people are the reason civilisation is on the precipice, of an enourmous crossroads. 

[CapeRed]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

Anyone who uses the phrase 'personal news klaxon' on social media, usually followed by some kind of job move. 

 

"Personal news klaxon. So after five amazing years with the amazing people at Fuck & Fuckhead Ltd I'll be moving to Who Gives a Fuck Incorporated as their new head of Fuck. My old job is going so if you want to work with my truly amazing and inspirational colleagues, put your CV in quick!"

 

These people are the reason civilisation is on the precipice, of an enourmous crossroads. 

I am yet to come across this turn of phrase.thank fuck.

[Harry Squatter]

People who have constant drama in their life with the following:

 

Regularly falling out with friends and family members over minor issues. 

 

Jumping from one relationship to the next, professing your undying love for them then hating them about 2 weeks later. 

 

Having loads of kids all over the place and then going on to have more kids but moaning that you're skint and have no time to yourself. 

 

Packing in jobs left right and centre, coming up with braindead schemes that everyone else can see will fail but always making out you are cleverer than everyone.

 

Constantly fighting with and antagonising ex partners.

 

Blurting your entire existence on Facebook including the above points.

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, Harry Squatter said:

People who have constant drama in their life with the following:

 

Regularly falling out with friends and family members over minor issues. 

 

Jumping from one relationship to the next, professing your undying love for them then hating them about 2 weeks later. 

 

Having loads of kids all over the place and then going on to have more kids but moaning that you're skint and have no time to yourself. 

 

Packing in jobs left right and centre, coming up with braindead schemes that everyone else can see will fail but always making out you are cleverer than everyone.

 

Constantly fighting with and antagonising ex partners.

 

Blurting your entire existence on Facebook including the above points.

So Amy then?

[Harry Squatter]

4 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

So Amy then?

Basically yeah.

 

Some woman I've just deleted off Facebook too. 

[redinblack]

On 17/01/2022 at 17:41, CapeRed said:

I am yet to come across this turn of phrase.thank fuck.

Get on LinkedIn.

 

Its Twat Central.

[easytoslip]

2 hours ago, redinblack said:

Get on LinkedIn.

 

Its Twat Central.

I've no clue what Linkedin is, an employment profile thing or something more depraved? 

[alles ist gut]

30 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

I've no clue what Linkedin is, an employment profile thing or something more depraved? 

Both.

[Jairzinho]

7 hours ago, easytoslip said:

I've no clue what Linkedin is, an employment profile thing or something more depraved? 

I think it used to be an employment thing, but now is like a business version of Facebook. So people post things like "Six month anniversary working for Nonce and Co", hoping that other people that post similar things congratulate them on going to work. Or they post a picture of themselves at work under a banner like "New brand, new logo, new me".

 

About a year ago my boss wanted all of her workers to set up a Linkedin account, to help expand the business, etc. I think maybe two of the 20 or so of us had one. Anyway the rest of us all duly obliged, but none of us have any idea what we're supposed to do on there. Unless she was subtly hinting that we should look for another job.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

LinkedIn is dripping with pretentiousness that can only be rivalled on Clubhouse. 
 

 

[redinblack]

1 hour ago, Jairzinho said:

I think it used to be an employment thing, but now is like a business version of Facebook. So people post things like "Six month anniversary working for Nonce and Co", hoping that other people that post similar things congratulate them on going to work. Or they post a picture of themselves at work under a banner like "New brand, new logo, new me".

this about sums it up.

 

Do you work in LinkedIn Marketing Dept?

[Jairzinho]

25 minutes ago, redinblack said:

this about sums it up.

 

Do you work in LinkedIn Marketing Dept?

I fear the business wouldn't last long if I did.

 

The job titles people give themselves...fucking hell. One used to work at our company, she called/calls herself a "Implementation Support Consultant".

 

She answers emails.