Instant cunt identifiers

[Babb'sBurstNad]

5 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Mint?

No, they didn't have any, just regular. It was a disappointment all round as the chocolate inner was absurdly tiny. Genuinely reckon it was no larger than about five Giant Dairy Milk Buttons.

 

I blame Brexit.

[Harry Squatter]

Anyone who has any type of aggressive or passive aggressive sticker on their car for fellow drivers to read.

[Liverpool lad]

Linkedin 

 

Not content with photographing the homeless as they offer them a meal deal or a bag of chips, one twat has captured her son apparently deciding to ask the homeless chap what his favourite chocolate bar is to then go and purchase it. The kid must be 4 ish and apparently thought of this themselves 

 

I think the child is more coerced into this as the parent is an attention seeking twat

 

As if you would let your kid approach the homeless with you 10 metres behind to film

 

12000 likes to so this twat is not alone

[Bjornebye]

9 minutes ago, Liverpool lad said:

Linkedin 

 

Not content with photographing the homeless as they offer them a meal deal or a bag of chips, one twat has captured her son apparently deciding to ask the homeless chap what his favourite chocolate bar is to then go and purchase it. The kid must be 4 ish and apparently thought of this themselves 

 

I think the child is more coerced into this as the parent is an attention seeking twat

 

As if you would let your kid approach the homeless with you 10 metres behind to film

 

12000 likes to so this twat is not alone

Yep twats for sharing that. 

 

I do remember being in town with my dad and brother (He was probably about 5) and walking past a homeless bloke on that ramp that goes up the side of St Johns towards Lime St. As we went to cross the road we looked at our kid and he was crying his eyes out. Really upset that "that man hasn't got a home" so my Dad gave him a fiver to go and give him. It does happen. No need for cunts to film it and lash it on social media for likes though. 

[manwiththestick]

Yeah, if you do a "selfless act" and film it or post about it, it's not frigging selfless, you're doing it for likes.

 

Twats.

[redinblack]

2 hours ago, Liverpool lad said:

Linkedin 

 

Not content with photographing the homeless as they offer them a meal deal or a bag of chips, one twat has captured her son apparently deciding to ask the homeless chap what his favourite chocolate bar is to then go and purchase it. The kid must be 4 ish and apparently thought of this themselves 

 

I think the child is more coerced into this as the parent is an attention seeking twat

 

As if you would let your kid approach the homeless with you 10 metres behind to film

 

12000 likes to so this twat is not alone

LinkedIn is a twat magnet

[Harry Squatter]

I got loads of shit off people on Faceaids a few years back when I posted:

 

"Just bought the homeless fella outside Tesco in Old Hall Street a Costa Coffee and a meal deal but forgot to film it so I could post it on here. What a complete fucking waste of money that was"

 

People saying I didn't take the issue of homelessness seriously.

[Captain Turdseye]

Went to London with the kids last week and on the first day we were on the South Bank and we saw one of those street performers who pretend to be statues. He was dressed really scruffy, had his face and hands painted gold and was posing sort of curled up on the floor. He was really good to be fair.
 

We were walking around the next day and after we went past a few homeless people asleep in doorways Turdsette asked me why there were so many people in London pretending to be statues. 

[Curly]

On 11/08/2021 at 16:45, Doctor Troy said:

Anyone who has any type of aggressive or passive aggressive sticker on their car for fellow drivers to read.

I saw a taxi the other day and he had a pro-brexit bumper sticker and one that said “goes faster than a smack head’s giro” or something along those lines. I’m not someone easily offended or insulted, but that one really pissed me off. I just thought how upsetting that could be to someone who is in that situation, or the loved ones of someone in it, or even have lost someone due to drugs. It just isn’t funny either, so whatever drives someone to put a sticker on their car to start with, made this cunt enjoy the nastiness in this one so much it needed to go pride of place in his rear bumper. It just seems mindless, sneering and cruel.

[Section_31]

Anyone who's exceptionally good at pool. Possibly due to time practicing in prison, or in the pub when everyone else is at work, deriving significant masculine self worth from being good at it.

 

You just know Uday Hussein would have been boss at pool, Terry Pratchet would have been shit at it.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Anyone who's exceptionally good at pool. Possibly due to time practicing in prison, or in the pub when everyone else is at work, deriving significant masculine self worth from being good at it.

 

You just know Uday Hussein would have been boss at pool, Terry Pratchet would have been shit at it.

Just had your arse kicked mate? 

[Bruce Spanner]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Just had your arse kicked mate? 

 

Lost his 50p deposit on killer and he's raging.

[Section_31]

I actually beat my niece and nephew, aged 13 and 11 respectively. But it did get me thinking about all the people I've known who were good at it, cock of the pub types by and large.

[Jairzinho]

Everyone knows if you're good at pool you should keep schtum about it. 

 

Not even for rinsing money out of people, but for humiliating the aforementioned cock of the pub types. 

[Jairzinho]

About a decade ago I was on holiday in Barcelona with a few mates and on the night we arrived the first pub we went to had a pool competition on. Tenner in, winner scoops the lot. We assumed one of the three of us would win it as the Spanish just play table football normally. 

 

Turns out that while that is the case they also don't drink like we do either. I at least didn't humiliate myself and lost a best of three against one of the better Spanish players. One of my mates did the same. The other, the best player of the three of us, but also comfortably the drunkest by kick off, managed to get drubbed 2-0 by what can only accurately be described as an old woman. 

 

As the second game finished he tripped over one of the table legs and, stuck the cue (in an attempt to steady himself) through the very flimsy scoreboard they were using. 

 

We didn't stay long after. 

[Bruce Spanner]

9 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

About a decade ago I was on holiday in Barcelona with a few mates and on the night we arrived the first pub we went to had a pool competition on. Tenner in, winner scoops the lot. We assumed one of the three of us would win it as the Spanish just play table football normally. 

 

Turns out that while that is the case they also don't drink like we do either. I at least didn't humiliate myself and lost a best of three against one of the better Spanish players. One of my mates did the same. The other, the best player of the three of us, but also comfortably the drunkest by kick off, managed to get drubbed 2-0 by what can only accurately be described as an old woman. 

 

As the second game finished he tripped over one of the table legs and, stuck the cue (in an attempt to steady himself) through the very flimsy scoreboard they were using. 

 

We didn't stay long after. 

 

Were you in a bar about a quarter of the way down Las Ramblas, on the right, as you're walking to the water, about a street or so back?

 

Had wine barrels for seats near the bar...

[Jairzinho]

4 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Were you in a bar about a quarter of the way down Las Ramblas, on the right, as you're walking to the water, about a street or so back?

 

Had wine barrels for seats near the bar...

I honestly can't remember. It's quite possible it was that one. 

[Elite]

35 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Anyone who's exceptionally good at pool. Possibly due to time practicing in prison, or in the pub when everyone else is at work, deriving significant masculine self worth from being good at it.

 

You just know Uday Hussein would have been boss at pool, Terry Pratchet would have been shit at it.

I used to be quite good but it's because my dad took me the pub a lot when I was a kid and gave me a bundle of 20p's so I could play all day and he could get pissed. Fair compromise.

[Bjornebye]

I spent over half my childhood years living above pubs. My dad used to let me use the old stretton leisure tokens to play games for free after I’d done the bottling up. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 14/08/2021 at 07:45, belarus said:

I saw a taxi the other day and he had a pro-brexit bumper sticker and one that said “goes faster than a smack head’s giro” or something along those lines. I’m not someone easily offended or insulted, but that one really pissed me off. I just thought how upsetting that could be to someone who is in that situation, or the loved ones of someone in it, or even have lost someone due to drugs. It just isn’t funny either, so whatever drives someone to put a sticker on their car to start with, made this cunt enjoy the nastiness in this one so much it needed to go pride of place in his rear bumper. It just seems mindless, sneering and cruel.

"Mindless, sneering & cruel" could be the Tories' next catchy slogan.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

13 hours ago, Section_31 said:

I actually beat my niece and nephew, aged 13 and 11 respectively. 

I'm definitely going to quote this out of context.

[Remmie]

13 hours ago, Elite said:

I used to be quite good but it's because my dad took me the pub a lot when I was a kid and gave me a bundle of 20p's so I could play all day and he could get pissed. Fair compromise.

Similar to me, I got pretty good in my teens, I'd be absolutely dogshit now but I'm still a cunt so the jokes on you Section_31. 

[manwiththestick]

22 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

Everyone knows if you're good at pool you should keep schtum about it. 

 

Not even for rinsing money out of people, but for humiliating the aforementioned cock of the pub types. 

When I was about 20 I played in a pub pool league, we had some brilliant players so I was by no means the best in the pub but I could do okay.

 

I went to a family party being held in some pub/social club in Kirkby and was happy to see they had a pool table, I put a marker down and was sat with family, mum, nan, grandad etc. Come to my go and that was it, winner stays on I was on almost all night, I remember my grandad complimenting me on shots and winning games (I was buzzing that he had this pround look on his face, he died a few months after and this was the last time I saw him so it's kind of the last memory of him) but after about loads of wins on the bounce one of my uncles told me to reign it in as some of the locals were getting a bit pissed off. I won the game I was playing and told the fella I beat he could stay on, he didn't like that very much.

 

I'm shite now though, haven't played that much these days.

[Section_31]

23 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Anyone who's exceptionally good at pool. Possibly due to time practicing in prison, or in the pub when everyone else is at work, deriving significant masculine self worth from being good at it.

 

You just know Uday Hussein would have been boss at pool, Terry Pratchet would have been shit at it.

Joey Barton also nailed on to be good at pool. 

[A Red]

A long held suspicion of mine, people who go around with no teeth.