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Instant cunt identifiers


Remmie
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9 hours ago, John102 said:

Anyone who describes themselves as a petrol head.

A mate of mine in school who never really came across like a car blert at all got bought a Nissan GTIR something or other by his Dad for his first car. had them silly dump valves and all that 'suped up' crap in it. To be fair the thing was rapid although why someone would want a car like that unless they were actually racing is beyond me. Anyway at 17/18 he never had anything but a fit bird in the passenger seat. I saw him when I was about 20 and he was seeing some bird (think a slightly more skanky Jakki Degg) who frequently got her bristols out in that boy racers magazine from the early 00's (cant remember what it was called). This lad couldn't have pulled in the Grafton under normal circumstances which proves that cars do attract the girls. 

 

I've not spoken with him in years but his facebook profile picture for years was a blue Subaru impreza so you know the kind of cat we are dealing with here. 

 

The fucking meffs. 

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5 minutes ago, Remmie said:

A skanky Degg sounds like a glorious euphemism. 

 

 

She was my favourite when I was younger.

 

Degg that is not skanky degg. I bet she's got 8 kids with 6 different juice head drug dealers by now. An eye-shadow of her former-self. Probably goes out with a fella who every weekend has a few lines then kicks off about her getting her chebs out for the world 20 years ago on a car-park on the st-helens link road despite only knowing her for 8 months. 

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2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

A mate of mine in school who never really came across like a car blert at all got bought a Nissan GTIR something or other by his Dad for his first car. had them silly dump valves and all that 'suped up' crap in it. To be fair the thing was rapid although why someone would want a car like that unless they were actually racing is beyond me. Anyway at 17/18 he never had anything but a fit bird in the passenger seat. I saw him when I was about 20 and he was seeing some bird (think a slightly more skanky Jakki Degg) who frequently got her bristols out in that boy racers magazine from the early 00's (cant remember what it was called). This lad couldn't have pulled in the Grafton under normal circumstances which proves that cars do attract the girls. 

 

I've not spoken with him in years but his facebook profile picture for years was a blue Subaru impreza so you know the kind of cat we are dealing with here. 

 

The fucking meffs. 

Subaru bellends; can't stand them.

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On 16/09/2020 at 20:54, Bjornebye said:

The only people worse than the cunts who use terms like “the school of life” are those who look down their nose to others, are condescending and speak like they k ow everything and you know fuck all. Often they are too into their own shit that they believe it. They usually have very few real friends and easily take offence when challenged. 

Spot on.

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9 minutes ago, A Red said:

I'm looking at buying a Toyota GT86, I think it looks great but basically is a poor mans Audi TT. I now see that the Subaru BRZ is the exact same car, same engine and body, everything except the badge. I know i'm a cunt but even I wouldnt buy a Subaru

Everything ok at home mate?

 

f6899ba32a3e3fae33445dcb3c0ae18f5646f35c

 

 

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18 minutes ago, A Red said:

I'm looking at buying a Toyota GT86, I think it looks great but basically is a poor mans Audi TT. I now see that the Subaru BRZ is the exact same car, same engine and body, everything except the badge. I know i'm a cunt but even I wouldnt buy a Subaru


Why don’t you just get a motorbike, leather jacket, ridiculous haircut and a twenty year old dead behind the eyes blond like the rest of us? 

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Controversial perhaps especially coming from a fat fuck, but people who are seriously into fitness. Watching those Peleton adverts I always think "what a bunch of cunts". Probably work in an estate agents or something and equate no pain no gain with a winning mindset that's going to make them a millionaire.

 

Tried circuit training a few years back when I was into jogging and was reasonably fit and there were this pair of bellend lads there who were always trying to outdo each other.

 

The instructor told us to jog around some cones or something and explicitly stated not to overtake anyone. So you can imagine what these two helmets did. 

 

Bet they both went home and looked at themselves in the mirror, pointed and winked. 

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4 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Controversial perhaps especially coming from a fat fuck, but people who are seriously into fitness. Watching those Peleton adverts I always think "what a bunch of cunts". Probably work in an estate agents or something and equate no pain no gain with a winning mindset that's going to make them a millionaire.

To be honest they look like bellends with more money than sense rather than winners.

 

My missus is a fitness instructor and does or teaches various classes from kettle bells to spin to bootcamp-style circuits. The people you're thinking of, along with the muscle Mary poseurs and sted heads, are objects of ridicule to her and her fellow instructors.

 

These are generally not particularly fit but have massively overtrained in a specific area and are very weak when asked to do something else. Think of your bodybuilder who can barely run or a runner with cheese string arms and a weak back who puts massive pressure on their knees because their posture is shit. Spending a fortune on a Peloton bike and the sub and revelling in 'muh gainz' is pointless unless you combine it with something else.

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