Losing My Religion?

[Faustus]

Apologies if this should be anywhere else in another thread, but I don't really think it's appropriate to the after match thread. This is something I've been meaning to write for a while and I suppose last night's abject display has gave me the shot in the arm I needed.

 

I've been going the match regularly since 1996 when I was 8 and I don't think I've ever felt as detached as I do now. I suppose it's a combination of things- the wretched anti-football we play week in week out, the Americans at the top sucking the club dry, the fact that very few players seem to care about the club, the constant political battles between the management and the board, the petty squabbles between supporters over things like whether Rafa's the right man for the job and locality and, generally, the way football as a whole is going. The fact that, providing we stay in the UEFA Cup, we won't have a Saturday game from now until the end of the season speaks volumes to me.

 

I suppose it's been something of a downward spiral since Athens, when I saw sections of our support behave like subhuman scum in snatching tickets from families and OOTers who were deemed to be unworthy. That was easily my lowest point as a Liverpool fan and the fact that my dad, a season ticket holder since the 70s, didn't get in the ground despite having a genuine ticket just compounded it further for me.

 

Since then, I just haven't been able to engage with the game and to an extent, the club the same way. There have been spells that have aroused me from my apathy, especially the last three months of last season when we saw everything I've wanted from a Liverpool team. Passion, commitment, determination and above all, the stomach for a fight and strange as it sounds, I felt prouder in going out of Europe at Stamford Bridge after that 4-4 draw than we after did drawing with West Ham to take us top of the League in December, purely because of the difference in the manner of performance.

 

Seeing Torres score all this goals in his first season was something that stirred me as well. A player who looked like he was born to wear the Liver bird on his chest and I also got a kick out of seeing reds I know in their 60s and 70s who've seen it all get giddy with excitement at the lad because I knew then that he was something special.

 

I suppose the change in Torres' demeanour since then kind of reflects my own feelings. I see the sulking, petulant Torres who gets involved in petty individual battles when things don't go his way and it breaks my heart, especially when I think back to when I first started getting excited about the lad myself after that League Cup game against Reading when he took no shit despite getting booted all game by Duberry and Bikey. I'm not just singling Torres out, because I feel the same about the likes of Gerrard and Mascherno, for example- great players and ones I feel privileged to watch every week, but ones I just can't warm to. I hear people say they 'love x player' at the match and on these boards but it's something I've been unable to do lately. Probably the only two I feel any warmth towards are Carragher, because of what he represents, and Reina, because he seems a decent fella and took the time to have a bevvy and a long chat with a mate of mine when he met him in a casino in town a few years back so he at least seems a decent lad.

 

To be honest, we have players who, if they weren't playing for us, I'd think they were cunts. I support them at the match and want the team to win, but that's where it ends for me. I'm passed worrying about whether Mascherano will go to Barcelona or whoever else will leave to raise a transfer budget or because we'll have missed out on the Champions League because I ultimately don't care. If you want to stay, then stay. If you want to go, then go. I'm passed having my emotions held to ransom by players I don't really feel any warmth towards because I don't think it's worth it. I really hate myself for feeling like this, because in every side we've had since I started going the match, there have been around 6 or 7 players I've absolutely adored. When we beat Everton in the derby at Anfield, I took pleasure in in it and loved winding my bluenose mates up because it's always good to put that shower in their place, but on one level I just thought 'wow, our overpaid, spoilt millionaires beat your set of the same' and I even admitted so much to a mate afterwards.

 

I really hate myself for feeling like this. I still love the game itself as a spectacle and I still love the club (I'll never stop that) but I've felt really hollow about a lot of things surrounding them for a while. It's become a really struggle to motivate myself to go the match now because I hardly get any satisfaction from it at all. To be honest, if it wasn't for the laugh I have with my mates and the couple of pints in the pub before and after, I probably would sack it off. Last night at Wigan, I thought to myself 'what the fuck am I doing here?' after paying £44 for the ticket, petrol, parking and ale to leave with a grand total of £15 in my bank to see a spineless performance from a group who if I had my way, would all have their wages docked, apart from Aquilani, Mascherano and Kyrgiakos who at least showed some commitment.

 

It wasn't so long ago that the prospect of missing a home match would knock me sick, but I've been trying to sort out a year of work in Canada for when I finish my degree and I can honestly say that I'm not arsed about missing the match when I think about it. Like I've said, I really hate myself for feeling this way, but it's been so hard because I don't think I've ever felt this disillusioned with football as a whole or certain personnel associated with the club in my life.

 

Apologies for the length, the naff Rawk-esque thread title and if this sounds like a load of incoherent bollocks, but I just felt I had to get it all off my chest.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Apologies if this should be anywhere else in another thread, but I don't really think it's appropriate to the after match thread. This is something I've been meaning to write for a while and I suppose last night's abject display has gave me the shot in the arm I needed.

 

I've been going the match regularly since 1996 when I was 8 and I don't think I've ever felt as detached as I do now. I suppose it's a combination of things- the wretched anti-football we play week in week out, the Americans at the top sucking the club dry, the fact that very few players seem to care about the club, the constant political battles between the management and the board, the petty squabbles between supporters over things like whether Rafa's the right man for the job and locality and, generally, the way football as a whole is going. The fact that, providing we stay in the UEFA Cup, we won't have a Saturday game from now until the end of the season speaks volumes to me.

 

I suppose it's been something of a downward spiral since Athens, when I saw sections of our support behave like subhuman scum in snatching tickets from families and OOTers who were deemed to be unworthy. That was easily my lowest point as a Liverpool fan and the fact that my dad, a season ticket holder since the 70s, didn't get in the ground despite having a genuine ticket just compounded it further for me.

 

Since then, I just haven't been able to engage with the game and to an extent, the club the same way. There have been spells that have aroused me from my apathy, especially the last three months of last season when we saw everything I've wanted from a Liverpool team. Passion, commitment, determination and above all, the stomach for a fight and strange as it sounds, I felt prouder in going out of Europe at Stamford Bridge after that 4-4 draw than we after did drawing with West Ham to take us top of the League in December, purely because of the difference in the manner of performance.

 

Seeing Torres score all this goals in his first season was something that stirred me as well. A player who looked like he was born to wear the Liver bird on his chest and I also got a kick out of seeing reds I know in their 60s and 70s who've seen it all get giddy with excitement at the lad because I knew then that he was something special.

 

I suppose the change in Torres' demeanour since then kind of reflects my own feelings. I see the sulking, petulant Torres who gets involved in petty individual battles when things don't go his way and it breaks my heart, especially when I think back to when I first started getting excited about the lad myself after that League Cup game against Reading when he took no shit despite getting booted all game by Duberry and Bikey. I'm not just singling Torres out, because I feel the same about the likes of Gerrard and Mascherno, for example- great players and ones I feel privileged to watch every week, but ones I just can't warm to. I hear people say they 'love x player' at the match and on these boards but it's something I've been unable to do lately. Probably the only two I feel any warmth towards are Carragher, because of what he represents, and Reina, because he seems a decent fella and took the time to have a bevvy and a long chat with a mate of mine when he met him in a casino in town a few years back so he at least seems a decent lad.

 

To be honest, we have players who, if they weren't playing for us, I'd think they were cunts. I support them at the match and want the team to win, but that's where it ends for me. I'm passed worrying about whether Mascherano will go to Barcelona or whoever else will leave to raise a transfer budget or because we'll have missed out on the Champions League because I ultimately don't care. If you want to stay, then stay. If you want to go, then go. I'm passed having my emotions held to ransom by players I don't really feel any warmth towards because I don't think it's worth it. I really hate myself for feeling like this, because in every side we've had since I started going the match, there have been around 6 or 7 players I've absolutely adored. When we beat Everton in the derby at Anfield, I took pleasure in in it and loved winding my bluenose mates up because it's always good to put that shower in their place, but on one level I just thought 'wow, our overpaid, spoilt millionaires beat your set of the same' and I even admitted so much to a mate afterwards.

 

I really hate myself for feeling like this. I still love the game itself as a spectacle and I still love the club (I'll never stop that) but I've felt really hollow about a lot of things surrounding them for a while. It's become a really struggle to motivate myself to go the match now because I hardly get any satisfaction from it at all. To be honest, if it wasn't for the laugh I have with my mates and the couple of pints in the pub before and after, I probably would sack it off. Last night at Wigan, I thought to myself 'what the fuck am I doing here?' after paying £44 for the ticket, petrol, parking and ale to leave with a grand total of £15 in my bank to see a spineless performance from a group who if I had my way, would all have their wages docked, apart from Aquilani, Mascherano and Kyrgiakos who at least showed some commitment.

It wasn't so long ago that the prospect of missing a home match would knock me sick, but I've been trying to sort out a year of work in Canada for when I finish my degree and I can honestly say that I'm not arsed about missing the match when I think about it. Like I've said, I really hate myself for feeling this way, but it's been so hard because I don't think I've ever felt this disillusioned with football as a whole or certain personnel associated with the club in my life.

 

Apologies for the length, the naff Rawk-esque thread title and if this sounds like a load of incoherent bollocks, but I just felt I had to get it all off my chest.

 

Should never be an issue, your career should always come before watching the match. It was piss easy for me to make that decision just after going to Dortmund in 2001.

 

Anyone that would sacrifice their own life rewards to watch players that would never do the same for you are mentally challenged or bullshitting superfans who wouldn't do as they say if push came to shove.

[Thants]

Good post. Everybody Hurts.

Football has changed.

 

I watched Colchester v Brighton last night on the TV as the pub I was in chose that over the Liverpool match and was a breath of fresh air being around people that don't have wild expectations. I hardly knew anyone on the pitch but I must say I had a feeling I've not had for a while.

 

Whatever happens in the next takeover, Liverpool FC is no longer what it was. Football is more interested in what ugly John Terry has his ugly penis in rather than focusing on the good characters in the game. I've said it before and I'll say it again. My priorities are changing.

 

And I'm only an armchair LFC supporter. I feel for those who pay and give the club a proper support.

[stringvest]

It is a horrible feeling coming away from the ground, especially after a long journey there and rthe prospect of another 4 or 5 hours to get back home, when the overwhelming feeling is that you've once again been taken for a mug by the manager and players.

[Dani Pacheco]

I always cared more about having a good time than the football but the football is just so overwhelmingly shit and depressing now, having a good time is impossible especially for the money paid to see a match.

[Faustus]

Should never be an issue, your career should always come before watching the match. It was piss easy for me to make that decision just after going to Dortmund in 2001.

 

Anyone that would sacrifice their own life rewards to watch players that would never do the same for you are mentally challenged or bullshitting superfans who wouldn't do as they say if push came to shove.

 

In fairness, it's not totally for the benefit of my career. It's just about life experience really, because I'm looking at getting hold of a 12 month visa and then coming back here in order to do my Masters. The thing is though, a few years back the thought of missing a season of going the game when leave me in knots. Now I just think 'fuck it'.

 

I used to arrange my life around the football. If somebody asked me if I fancied doing this or that, I'd always have a sly check of the fixtures. Now, if it was something I was really up for doing, I don't think I'd bother checking.

 

It's just been a horrible, hollow feeling I've had for about three years now.

[ARockWithACape]

2004-2005 was the best years of supporting Liverpool for me, all the glory hunting nobheads fucked off.

[Kevin D]

Stopped going to matches at the start of this season - regardless of its effectiveness, I won't have my money paying for Gillet's massage and an optional happy ending - and it's been remarkably easy. Only twice this season - Everton away and Spurs at home - have I considered breaking my exile and going. I would wager that it is the same for other people who have stopped going,too.

 

The sport is unbearable, in my view. Any game you watch will be rife with diving, petulance, chasing the referee and snidey tackles while the crowd sing the same hymbook - it is all so predictable. It's been that way for a long time, admitedly, but the fact we're Liverpool FC in name only( an RBS man is flying around the world, cap in hand, begging people to save us. One example of many things wrong with us.) is making it exceptionally hard to take.

[derykw]

I often put my social life on hold just to make sure I could afford to go the match and I basically gave up playing football at 18 even though I was a good player because going the match was the priority.

 

I`ve been privileged to witness numerous great occasions but if I could have my time again there is no way I would compromise so much of my life just to watch a football match.

[ZonkoVille77]

I think the feeling is the same all round at the minute. The highs of last season have just made this season even more sickening by comparison. I am 32 this year and can safely say that it's the worst season I can remember from our club. I'm sick of the bullshit behind the scenes, the bullshit from the media, the bullshit from other supporters giving us stick (deservedly) and most of all, the bullshit from the manager and the players.

 

I like to think I've given a lot in my time to supporting the team, the very least I expect in return is a bit of heart from the players. Just so frustrating.

[captainharris]

Good read that. Pretty much feel the same if I'm honest.

 

I didn't go to the game yesterday, went and watched it on ESPN with my dad. As he was dropping me back at mine I told him how I just wasn't bothered about the result. I expected it, and then it dawned on me. I haven't actually looked forward to a game all season.

 

It's probably all results/performance driven, but I certainly have that feeling not not really caring either way whether we have a game, whether we win or lose, whether we destroy a team or look like a bunch of sunday leaguers.

 

The club(and the game) is rotten to the core. Like the OP mentioned, I never thought I could go without seeing us play. It felt too important to miss a game. I went to Australia for a few weeks and would be up at 4am to watch us play, never missed a minute. Now, it doesnt bother me in the slightest if we're playing and I miss it.

 

No doubt if we put a run together and start playing attractive football again my mood will change. But with everything going on throughout the club, leeching owners, debt, petulant stubborn manager, players not giving a shit, players not being able to control a ball, miliatant fan groups... It's not the club I once loved.

[Liverpool lad]

I am in the same boat as the thread start, I stayed in this weekend so I had the money for yesterday. What a fucking waste, you wonder why you do it. I wouldn't be whinging if yesterday we had went at them 100mph and had a fucking go, but the lads really didn't look arsed

[FidelMurphy]

I think that's the feeling all round these days. The thing is I don't want to feel like this, footbal is something that's given me a lot of joy over the years but couldn't be arsed the way things are at the moment. I think it's the inevitability of it all. We won't finish in the top 4, Torres et al will bugger off and we'll be stuck with the two leeches. If we were given it a go and finishing 6th/7th so be it but it's the fact that we're paying for those two c&*ts to run us into the ground that has me feeling this way.

[Furmedge]

I had a season ticket from the age of eight up until last year, aged 30. Up until I was 28 I'd never missed a home game and gone the length and breadth of Britain to watch us play. And it cost me a fucking fortune.

 

I never got to go to Istanbul as I was away in Germany the night of the final. So when we got to Athens I broke my neck to get a ticket, only to find myself fighting against Rick and his numbers game. In the end I was on the verge of selling my flight I'd payed £500 for when out of the blue I got a ticket, that cost me way over the asking price.

 

That made me realise that Liverpool FC do not give a fuck about the man on the street. It's not just Liverpool FC, it's every club out there, but with LFC you always felt like the club wanted you. Football itself has changed dramatically for the worst. It's a cash hungry bastard that would get rid of us all for 15,000 corporate boxes in every stadium.

 

I done one more season before giving my ticket to my younger cousin for a year. I decided that I'd loan it incase I wanted it back for this year, after all I'd gone 20 years with going the game and dreaded the fact if I gave it away permanently I may not ever get it back.

 

Have I missed it? No. Why? Because football isn't the game I fell in love with 25 years ago. Looking from the outside I can appreciate why people do it, why they travel the length of the country to part with £300 for a day at Anfield with the wife and two kids. It's because they have the same hunger I did as a kid and young man.

 

But now? I never even bothered to call my cousin and tell him I wanted it back. Now I know some people will call me a cunt because I gave up what some can only dream of, but I'm sick to death of being treated like shite by a club whose morals have gone out the window. Some may call it natural progression to squeeze as much money out of the fans as they can, but when you see players like Degen taking home £35k+ a week more, you have to wonder if we're being taken the piss out of.

 

It may be me becoming an arl get who just wants to moan about it all, but I'm like my dad. He was a blue season ticket holder for years and one day, stopped. I couldn't get over it and asked him why. His reply; "I am not working my bollocks off all week and scrimping and saving all year to watch 22 uninterested millionaires kick a ball around a park for 90 minutes." The man's got a point.

[Lucky Pierre]

I think I have to stop going to aways. 11 games this season, 2 wins. Sorry people.

[ZonkoVille77]

I think I have to stop going to aways. 11 games this season, 2 wins. Sorry people.

 

Your fault!!

[Faustus]

More like Unlucky Pierre.

[kopite1989]

Pure shit... That game was awful... Rafa needs to go n take a few players with him ... Not naming any names

[Liverpool lad]

I think I have to stop going to aways. 11 games this season, 2 wins. Sorry people.

 

I don't even like watching us, I prefer the coach journey and the laugh you have on them

[Faustus]

I don't even like watching us, I prefer the coach journey and the laugh you have on them

 

Deffo, mate. Or the train journey there. I've lost count of how many times I've said 'good day out, but the match was shite'!

[Liverpool lad]

Deffo, mate. Or the train journey there. I've lost count of how many times I've said 'good day out, but the match was shite'!

 

Stoke this year, I was gutted when we got into the ground

[The 5th Benitel]

Blackburn away was a shocker but i had a brilliant day. In fact, this season the footy is just a buzz kill.

 

We should start a campaign to Kick Football out of Football. The match itself is shite but everything around it is a very good laugh.

[Ra La]

QUOTE=Faustus;2166919

 

Sweetheat,

There are or there SHOULD be loads of Liverpool Fans who feel just like you do.

 

Our team has REALLY lost its way, and I can't see anyone who can save us from ourselves.

 

All that 'In Rafa we trust' shite. Do any of you know that the motto on the dollar bill of the United States of America is 'In God we Trust'. It's that money that that daego idiot has been spending mostly on rubbish players who've only come for a fat pension then p*iss of back home.

 

Don't you realise that it wasn't Benitez that won the European Cup on that famous night in Istanbul, but you the supporters. The players must have been so ashamed of hearing you all sing your hearts out when we were getting battered, that someone from somwhere found a bit of backbone and at least we got back to be able to go for penalties. It was nothing to do with him.

 

Since then we've dropped out of every sight of football, ALLof the so called big 4 are miles better than us.

It's not us who've lost their religion for Liverpool but rather the fat cat players who can't be bothered. Gerrard and Carragher are among the worst culprits. Always blaming everyone else.

 

So by all means weep for your lost team - I am

 

:wallbutt::wallbutt::wallbutt::wallbutt:

[wevegot5]

Good read that. pretty much sums up what a lot of supporters, fans think.

 

Split my time between Liverpool and local club Chelmsford City. City play in the Blue Square South. Tell you what though. Saw us play away to AFC Wimbledon last season. What a day that was. Like watching us go to Plough lane in the 80's.

Cracking day all round. Good football, result didn't go our way, but the ground, fans and all round buzz was quality.

 

Don't profess to know all the answers to our shit situation, just that ike most on here, see m to off lost my way with the club we love.

 

Seen shit with Souness, end of Houllier era etc. Possibly going to happen to Rafa also.

 

Football in the whole is in a shit situation at the moment but it hurts like heck when i see absolute shit served up like lastnight.

[RED.DUB]

very depressing read,because its all true,its also how i feel.

exchanging texts with a mate last night we were saying pretty much the same thing.

whats worse than us losing is the sight of certain players looking like they couldnt give a shit.

to be fair to those players though im not 100% sure many of us in their place/situation would be any different.