Tony Gale (early morning rant)

[Faustus]

When it comes to football, I like to think I've mellowed in my old age. I used to get really wound up about a lot of things about people who say things about our club in the press. Pundits used to be a particular grievance of mine and I'd get really annoyed when they said something I didn't agree with about us. Now, I like to think I've matured a fair bit. Andy Gray's views on zonal marking don't bother me, because overall, I think he's one of the few co-commentators who actually makes an effort to describe how the game is unfolding, rather than just 'say what you see'. Andy Townsend doesn't bother me, because I think he's one of the few pundits who doesn't possess a malicious streak and says what he says out of conviction, rather than to get in a snide dig. Hell, even Paul Merson doesn't get on my tits anymore, because the whole world knows he's an idiot and he's just there on Soccer Saturday to play the role of the court jester.

 

However, there are two that manage to puncture my placid demeanour. Messrs Jason Cunty and Tony Gale. I'm going to leave Cunty off this thread because this is directed squarely at Gale.

 

I fucking hate Tony Gale. Everything about him from his horrible, smarmy 'cheeky chappy' grin to his horrible, horrible Dick Van Dyke chimney sweep twang. The man's got a really shit haircut as well and always looks a bad meff in his best Burtons suit. The smeg.

 

He was just on SSN before chatting utter balls when previewing the derby:

 

"Well, I think Everton are the better side."

 

"Everton are going into this game in better form."

 

"I think that if David Moyes was Liverpool manager, then they'd be challenging for the title."

 

The cunt even predicted the shite to beat us as well. I mean, that didn't bother me to be honest, but the relish with which he said it certainly did. I even remember a few weeks Jeff Stelling what he thought about Emiliano Insua's development and, totally off-topic, he answered it by rambling on about Benayoun not starting enough games.

 

I'm probably being a bit over-sensitive here, but the cunt can fuck off. Go and choke on your jellied-eels, Gale, you fucking fairy.

 

*leans back in chair and breathes out a sigh of relief*

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

He is one of, if not the worst pundit on TV. He has no clue what he's talking about. Best ignored. Ridiculed.

[Monster Masch]

No, I seen this earlier on SSN. I was fucking shocked. "Liverpool fans won't like this, but in the premiership, David Moyes is a mile the better manager than Mr Benitez". I'm no Benitez fan but fuck off mate. He also said "At the moment, Everton have the better team and are playing better" - then why the fuck are we x amount of points ahead of them you daft twat. Then when it came to predicting the weekend results, he got to us and was like "Liverpool do rise to the big occasion but comfortable away win, Everton". What a muppet. I really hope we trounce those rats.

[sh#t waffle]

Tony Git more like.

[Faustus]

Tony Fail.

[05 Milan]

Is he the cockney twat with the annoying voice? The one who always says "dat's a lackee gawl, bah tayk nuffink away frum the strikah"

[05 Milan]

Tony She-male

[Monster Masch]

 

Just look at the daft mong.

[ZonkoVille77]

Never really cared for the fucker before, but after reading that he can crawl up Moyes dump shaft and rot the fuck away. What a no nothing prick.

[sh#t waffle]

Tony Fail.

There's no way I was going to bother thinking of a word that rhymed with his surname.

[TSC]

He never gives us the time of day by way of positive previews. But this morning took the biscuit. 'Everton away win, although sometimes Liverpool rise to the big occasion when they're underdogs' or some such shite.

 

What a giggle the turd is eh.

[gkmacca]

I quite agree, but a 24-hour sports channel thrives on types like him who'll turn up and fill up some time. It's like when they go to a press conference and someone says something like 'I'm looking forward to the match, we lost the last one so we need to bounce back and I'm sure we will', and then they go straight back to the studio where TWO people explain to us what we've just heard:

'There you saw him...saying he is very much, ah, looking forward to...the match'

'Yes, and he reminded us that he is still haunted by the recent defeat'

'Mmm, yes, but he was also very quick to stress that he is extremely confident that his team can bounce straight back'

'Yes, and he concluded by making the bold assertion that he is...expecting...to...win...tomorrow'.

 

It's a channel that rots its own tiny brain, then shares the pain. Gale always looks like they keep him locked up in a cupboard and toss him the odd bottle of ale when he's been a good boy. Total twerp.

[diamondjoe]

 

Speaking of mongs.

[torahboy]

I'm sure that if Mrs Gayle was sleeping with John Terry (only a matter of time before he gets around to her) then I am sure that she would experience something approaching sexual pleasure. John Terry has more experience in matters of carnal desires and he has the advantage of actually haviing a penis.

 

I'm sure that Gayle can offer a bit or oral action on his good days, but it's Terry who would give Mrs Gayle a proper fucking.

[gkmacca]

 

Speaking of mongs.

 

Ha ha! Yes. He gets SO excited when anybody talks to him. 'That was Craig Brown! Former Scotland manager, a much decorated professional coach and ex-Pipe Smoker of the Year! Three-time winner of the Kircaldy Bugle's Rear of the Year award! Talking to me! Live! And YOU heard it!'

[King Gheedorah]

Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck.

[gkmacca]

Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck.

 

 

I don't think one could find a more precise and concise rendition of the human condition than this quite astonishingly apposite one-line poem. It is like being trapped in a lift with Philip Larkin and hearing him fart. It is like seeing W H Auden run out of his only bottle of skin cream. "Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck". And no question mark! What a breathtaking act of confidence! Or is it fear? I am reminded of [cont. on BBC4]

[Kevin D]

He's the first man I can recall using the phrase " Set your stall out early doors"; I remember it because it was at that very moment I decided that watching SSN was counter-productive.

[Brownie]

He really doesn't like Liverpool.

[goatboy59]

The usual Brit shit.

 

Gone kinda quiet about 'poor' Mark Hughes, haven't they?

 

Allardyce at Newcastle. Bruce at Sunderland. Give them a decent sized club and they shit their pants.

[Trumo]

There seems to be a Cockney overload in terms of football coverage, both in terms of co-commentary and punditry. You have Tony Gale, Tony Cottee, Paul Walsh, Paul Merson, Andy Townsend, Scott Minto, Ian Wright, and Alan Smith, as well as people like "Pards" and "Curbs". Then you get Cockney club sympathisers like Mark Bright and Garth Crooks. Of course, "Motty" still does a bit of commentary now and then when they let him out of his box.

 

I hate the phrases "the boy done good" and "early doors", and these guys seem to have made them common football vernacular.

[Dicko]

There seems to be a Cockney overload in terms of football coverage, both in terms of co-commentary and punditry. You have Tony Gale, Tony Cottee, Paul Walsh, Paul Merson, Andy Townsend, Scott Minto, Ian Wright, and Alan Smith, as well as people like "Pards" and "Curbs". Then you get Cockney club sympathisers like Mark Bright and Garth Crooks. Of course, "Motty" still does a bit of commentary now and then when they let him out of his box.

 

I hate the phrases "the boy done good" and "early doors", and these guys seem to have made them common football vernacular.

 

Is Bromsgrove a suburb of London?

[WaltonRed]

As a rule of thumb, ignore anything that comes out of a Cockney's mouth and you'll live a long and happy life.

[gkmacca]

Paul Walsh always seems a bit confused. I guess he wants to spout the usual nonsense but he also wants to carry on getting picked for kickabouts with the 'Legends' in Scandanavia.

[Flying Pig]

Tony Gale is possibly the son of Lionel Blair.