Serious things you shouldn't laugh at

[Reckoner 2,117]

 

[Section_31 24,507]

 

[Section_31 24,507]

BBC News - Aung San Suu Kyi: Ousted Myanmar leader jailed for another four years

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-59933706

[lifetime fan 12,422]

We went up to see my ol fella for the weekend to exchange Christmas presents and have a few drinks at the beginning of December. 
 

The boys had to do their homework when we were up there and Aiden was moaning he didn’t want to do it. 
 

The homework was to design a tiled mural for an underpass that keeps getting covered in spray paint and tags. 
 

6 local primary schools were asked to submit 10 entries and a winner would be picked from each school. 
 

Unbeknownst to us my ol fella did Aiden’s homework for him, a mural of the Tamar Bridge. 
 

And this morning Claire got an email from the school to say Aiden’s design won and we’d all be invited to an opening ceremony when the underpass is finished. 

[Total Longo 3,618]

On 10/01/2022 at 11:59, Section_31 said:

BBC News - Aung San Suu Kyi: Ousted Myanmar leader jailed for another four years

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-59933706

We'll drink a cup of kindness yet
For the sake of Aung San Kyi

[Trumo 16,087]

5 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

We went up to see my ol fella for the weekend to exchange Christmas presents and have a few drinks at the beginning of December. 
 

The boys had to do their homework when we were up there and Aiden was moaning he didn’t want to do it. 
 

The homework was to design a tiled mural for an underpass that keeps getting covered in spray paint and tags. 
 

6 local primary schools were asked to submit 10 entries and a winner would be picked from each school. 
 

Unbeknownst to us my ol fella did Aiden’s homework for him, a mural of the Tamar Bridge. 
 

And this morning Claire got an email from the school to say Aiden’s design won and we’d all be invited to an opening ceremony when the underpass is finished. 

 

Should take your dad instead of Aiden, and ask him to pretend to be a kid like Rodney when he won a free holiday after being entered in an art competition.

[Bruce Spanner 5,734]

Friend of mine a few years back won a competition at work, she worked for an airline, and from what I can make out really good at her job and incredibly competent, her husband is an absolute bellend. 
 

He’d been in education until his late twenties, never had a job and always lorded it over people despite taking six years to finish a PhD with no other distractions etc as his Mrs paid for everything.

 

Anyhows the prize she won was return flights to Oz in Business for two.

 

Months before she start telling everyone how excited they were and how it’s something she’d always wanted to do, he shrugged the shrug of pretence and insouciance as if it was just another Tuesday.

 

As the day of departure nears he realises his passport has expired and there’s no time to get a new one.

 

She tears strips off him and simply changes the name on the ticket and takes her mate leaving him at home for three weeks on his own having to fend for himself, something he’s never done.

 

Laugh? 
 

I nearly laughed up a spleen.

 

 

[Chocoholic 1,696]

Somebody having a stroke, obviously...

 

 

 

[stringvest 14,065]

looks like she drew mud in that last one as well

[Bjornebye 33,166]

1 minute ago, stringvest said:

looks like she drew mud in that last one as well

Hahahaha

 

She must charge extra for that 

[Jairzinho 25,275]

14 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Hahahaha

 

She must charge extra for that 

She does. 

[Elite 11,913]

As lovely as she looks, walking in on her farting in jars would make me question my sanity.

[Strontium 10,974]

She must eat a lot of beans.

[Bjornebye 33,166]

23 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

She does. 

Any price lists knocking about? Just for research purposes and stuff 

[sir roger 8,658]

‘It took four men and a fire extinguisher to get the tiger off him’: the tragedy of Vegas magicians Siegfried and Roy

[Chocoholic 1,696]

Potential stroke while she was filling the jars. Definitely strokes going on when they're being opened by customers. Not necessarily requiring hospitalisation, though.

[The-Sir 277]

[KMD7 9,385]

https://m.sundayworld.com/crime/irish-crime/gardai-probing-after-body-of-elderly-man-brought-to-post-office-to-collect-his-pension-41265477.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=upday

 

BIZARRE CRIME Gardai probing after body of elderly man brought to post office to 'collect his pension'

The incident happened at a post office in Carlow on Friday morning

 

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IRISH CRIME

BIZARRE CRIME Gardai probing after body of elderly man brought to post office to 'collect his pension'

The incident happened at a post office in Carlow on Friday morning

1

Gardai are investigating (PA)

Ken Foy and Clodagh Meaney

January 21 2022 05:37 PM

A dead man was brought to a post office this morning in an attempt to collect his pension in one of the most bizarre incidents that gardai have ever seen.

The shocking incident in which the deceased male was propped up by two other men happened at the post office on Staplestown Road in Carlow town.

Staff at the post office immediately became suspicious and contacted emergency services and gardai rushed to the scene.

No money was handed over and it is understood that the deceased man is well known to the two men who moved his body.

Once suspicions were raised, the men left the scene.

 

“Gardaí are investigating all the circumstances surrounding the unexplained death of an elderly male in the Carlow area this morning, Friday 21st January 2022,” a garda spokesman said.

“The services of the Garda Technical Bureau and the Office of the State Pathologist have been requested.

“A post mortem will be conducted by the Office of the State Pathologist, the results of which will determine the course of the investigation

 

[Lee909 12,916]

18 minutes ago, KMD7 said:

https://m.sundayworld.com/crime/irish-crime/gardai-probing-after-body-of-elderly-man-brought-to-post-office-to-collect-his-pension-41265477.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=upday

 

BIZARRE CRIME Gardai probing after body of elderly man brought to post office to 'collect his pension'

The incident happened at a post office in Carlow on Friday morning

 

• 

  Subscribe

   

IRISH CRIME

BIZARRE CRIME Gardai probing after body of elderly man brought to post office to 'collect his pension'

The incident happened at a post office in Carlow on Friday morning

1

Gardai are investigating (PA)

Ken Foy and Clodagh Meaney

January 21 2022 05:37 PM

A dead man was brought to a post office this morning in an attempt to collect his pension in one of the most bizarre incidents that gardai have ever seen.

The shocking incident in which the deceased male was propped up by two other men happened at the post office on Staplestown Road in Carlow town.

Staff at the post office immediately became suspicious and contacted emergency services and gardai rushed to the scene.

No money was handed over and it is understood that the deceased man is well known to the two men who moved his body.

Once suspicions were raised, the men left the scene.

 

“Gardaí are investigating all the circumstances surrounding the unexplained death of an elderly male in the Carlow area this morning, Friday 21st January 2022,” a garda spokesman said.

“The services of the Garda Technical Bureau and the Office of the State Pathologist have been requested.

“A post mortem will be conducted by the Office of the State Pathologist, the results of which will determine the course of the investigation

 

 

 

Typical one rule for us, one for them. The Queen did it for a few years

 

[littletedwest 3,260]

17 minutes ago, Lee909 said:

 

 

Typical one rule for us, one for them. The Queen did it for a few years

 

Fit as a fiddle there

[Mudface 5,196]

Just now, littletedwest said:

Fit as a fiddle there

To be fair, they always look a bit rough when they're about to shed their skin.

[Lee909 12,916]

6 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Fit as a fiddle there

 

[dockers_strike 4,080]

Wrecking your car engine when trying to appear like you know how to drive through a ford but really dont!

 

 

[dockers_strike 4,080]

Ouch! Not for me Bob!

 

A 44-year-old man nicknamed “The Eunuch Maker” has been arrested amid claims he carried out dozens of castrations on men in his north London basement flat and broadcast the procedures on pay-per-view television.

Six other men aged from their 30s to their 60s were also arrested after police raided the run-down property in the Finsbury Park area last December.

The castrations are believed to be part of the genital nullification, or “Nullo”, movement which has grown in popularity among those who do not wish to identify as male or female.

The majority of those who admit undergoing the procedure claim they are submissive gay males or wish to identify as asexual.

In an online interview, the Norwegian-born suspect, who is also an amputee, boasted of having undergone the procedure himself and also carrying it out on 58 other men.

He explained he had decided to have his own genitals removed because he wanted to “look like a Ken doll with nothing down there”.

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He also claimed he kept the removed appendages in his freezer or stored them in alcohol inside his flat.

The man insisted he carried out the surgery in a “very professional way”, but neighbours in the residential street described regularly seeing ambulances turning up to the property.

They also described being suspicious about the existence of a large black tent in the back garden of the property.

In the online interview, the suspect explained how he carried out the procedure using a castration device known as a Burdizzo in order to “help others achieve their goal".

When police raided the flat in the first week of December, they spent more than a week at the scene removing computers and other potential evidence.

One neighbour said: “The police action lasted about 10 days, it lasted a long time. They were going in wearing masks and PPE. There was a policeman outside the home for 24 hours. I saw him [the suspect] about three weeks ago.”

When asked what had gone on, the suspect told a neighbour it was something to do with his “dodgy flatmate”.

Suspicions raised over ‘big black tent’

The neighbour added: “I remember police searching through the bins, I had no idea what they were looking for.  I don’t know the man who lived there but I think he is disabled, he is missing a leg. I was worried because there was a school opposite.”

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Another local said: “Police had taken him to a nearby hotel while they were searching his flat. The minute they finished the investigation he came back to the flat and put the Christmas decorations back up.

“There is a big black tent in his garden. I am not sure why you would have that when it is a north-facing garden with a big over-hanging tree.”

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: “Between Tuesday, December 7 and Friday, December 10 2021, officers from the Met’s Central Specialist Crime command conducted a search warrant at a residential address in the Finsbury Park area in connection with an investigation into an allegation of grievous bodily harm.

“A man, aged in his 40s, was arrested in relation to this investigation and is currently on bail. Six other suspects were also arrested and released on bail in connection with this matter. The other suspects are all males, in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s.

“The MPS will not comment on the background to the incident or the method of GBH.”

 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2022/02/07/eunuch-maker-arrested-castrating-men-live-television/

[manwiththestick 5,153]

Jesus, just bring back dinosaurs or end the world now.