Serious things you shouldn't laugh at

[Section_31]

42 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-57333128

Read this before, what a tit her brother is.

 

Yeah I'm looking for a dog to improve my unstable sister's mental health, I'll get her a Staffordshire bull terrier that's been rehomed for biting another dog.

[Section_31]

Talking to someone with a sore neck and watching them trying to turn their head.

[Dr Nowt]

[Kevin D]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/jul/09/wayne-couzens-pleads-guilty-murdering-sarah-everard

 

"When arrested, Couzens admitted taking Everard but initially denied her murder.

 

In a bizarre story comprised of lies, he claimed he had kidnapped Everard and then as he was driving through Kent, pulled over when his vehicle was flashed by an eastern European gang. He claimed they were threatening him and his family after he had underpaid for a sex worker the gang controlled and met at a Folkestone hotel weeks earlier."

[Strontium]

[Liverpool lad]

On 03/06/2021 at 15:56, Section_31 said:

Read this before, what a tit her brother is.

 

Yeah I'm looking for a dog to improve my unstable sister's mental health, I'll get her a Staffordshire bull terrier that's been rehomed for biting another dog.

Dog called Gucci

 

All the hallmarks of a classic here

[Vincent Vega]

 

[Kevin D]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/oct/13/mp-claudia-webbe-found-guilty-of-harassment

 

"Claudia Webbe, the independent MP for Leicester East, was accused of carrying out a campaign of harassment through unwanted telephone calls against Michelle Merritt, a female friend of her partner. She allegedly called Merritt a slag, threatened an acid attack and said she would distribute naked pictures of Merritt to her family."

[Kevin D]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/oct/29/penelope-jackson-row-over-bubble-squeak-ended-murder

 

She said he goaded her that she had not even “been able to do [the stabbing] right”, prompting her to stab him two more times while he was on the phone to 999, she claimed. She later refused instructions from a paramedic to help him.

[Section_31]

1 minute ago, Kevin D said:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/oct/29/penelope-jackson-row-over-bubble-squeak-ended-murder

 

She said he goaded her that she had not even “been able to do [the stabbing] right”, prompting her to stab him two more times while he was on the phone to 999, she claimed. She later refused instructions from a paramedic to help him.

 

Ha thought about this thread when I read that!

[Bjornebye]

In December the couple’s toxic relationship is said to have worsened when a row over a remote control resulted in her calling the police after she locked her husband in the conservatory, where he was brandishing a poker.

[Kevin D]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-59303410

 

She told Sky News: "I can remember a really prominent man (Mr Johnson) - at the time the Conservative candidate for Teignbridge in Devon - smacking me on the backside about as hard as he could and going, 'Oh, Romsey, you've got a lovely seat'."

[Mook]

My missus' Grandad died last week & our Son, James (3) is always telling jokes so today he said to her, "Mum, why does Grandad Jim cross the road?"

 

"I don't know, why does he cross the road?".

 

"To die."

[littletedwest]

Would have been my dad's birthday other week, mentioned it to one of my grandsons "tomorrow would be my dads birthday" "well it would be if he wasn't dead"

[Reckoner]

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/womans-terrifying-experience-beach-leaves-22209105

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Reckoner said:

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/womans-terrifying-experience-beach-leaves-22209105

I think there may be a reason why people avoid the left hand side near Peel Docks.

[General Dryness]

10 hours ago, Mook said:

My missus' Grandad died last week & our Son, James (3) is always telling jokes so today he said to her, "Mum, why does Grandad Jim cross the road?"

 

"I don't know, why does he cross the road?".

 

"To die."

That dour scottish wit.

 

Knock knock

Whaes thir?

It's the fuckin polis ye wee cunt, open this door before ah blooter it doon.

[Harry's Lad]

5 hours ago, Reckoner said:

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/womans-terrifying-experience-beach-leaves-22209105

Fucking hell, I thought that was my mam at first glance, She's got a Border Terrier as well.

[Total Longo]

16 hours ago, Mook said:

My missus' Grandad died last week & our Son, James (3) is always telling jokes so today he said to her, "Mum, why does Grandad Jim cross the road?"

 

"I don't know, why does he cross the road?".

 

"To die."

hahahahaha! Past tense would have been better, but i'm nitpicking, as he is 3. Big fan of you pointing that out as well.  

[alles ist gut]

 

[Elite]

On 22/11/2021 at 06:26, VladimirIlyich said:

I think there may be a reason why people avoid the left hand side near Peel Docks.

Immediately reminded me of this classic ..

 

 

 

 

 

[Reckoner]

On 22/11/2021 at 10:05, Harry's Lad said:

Fucking hell, I thought that was my mam at first glance, She's got a Border Terrier as well.

Funny, looks a bit like my mum too. Must be a general ‘mum look’.

[Harry's Lad]

4 minutes ago, Reckoner said:

Funny, looks a bit like my mum too. Must be a general ‘mum look’.

Would your mum look straight into the camera and tell the photographer to fuck off?, Mine would.

[Reckoner]

On 21/11/2021 at 23:23, Mook said:

My missus' Grandad died last week & our Son, James (3) is always telling jokes so today he said to her, "Mum, why does Grandad Jim cross the road?"

 

"I don't know, why does he cross the road?".

 

"To die."

Woah! Too soon, little dude 

[Reckoner]

1 minute ago, Harry's Lad said:

Would your mum look straight into the camera and tell the photographer to fuck off?, mine would.

Na, she’d chat away incessantly so much he’d put her back in the mud.