Serious things you shouldn't laugh at

[Mook]

There is nothing quite like getting a tattoo to make you feel more 'spiritually grounded'.

 

Fucking Hell, I hate people.

[VladimirIlyich]

10 hours ago, littletedwest said:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9253095/Moment-Royal-Mail-postman-leaves-pensioner-lying-snow-hes-knackered-pick-up.html

The two sources in that article  are the last places I'd ever believe a story was true.

[littletedwest]

Hadn't seen the reference to the rag there so apologies for that. 

[Vincent Vega]

 

[Kevin D]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-56127488

 

"The most I ever got from a girl was £10,000... every week she was sending me £100, £200.

"I've forgotten her name now"

 

"These behaviours could signal your prospective partner is not what they claim to be:

• they ask a lot of personal questions about you, but are not interested in telling you much about themselves
• they invent a reason to ask for your help, using the emotional attachment they have built with you
• your continued relationship with them depends on you sending them money"

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

1 minute ago, Kevin D said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-56127488

 

"The most I ever got from a girl was £10,000... every week she was sending me £100, £200.

"I've forgotten her name now"

 

"These behaviours could signal your prospective partner is not what they claim to be:

• they ask a lot of personal questions about you, but are not interested in telling you much about themselves
• they invent a reason to ask for your help, using the emotional attachment they have built with you
• your continued relationship with them depends on you sending them money"

 

[Dr Nowt]

34 minutes ago, Kevin D said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-56127488

 

"The most I ever got from a girl was £10,000... every week she was sending me £100, £200.

"I've forgotten her name now"

 

"These behaviours could signal your prospective partner is not what they claim to be:

• they ask a lot of personal questions about you, but are not interested in telling you much about themselves
• they invent a reason to ask for your help, using the emotional attachment they have built with you
• your continued relationship with them depends on you sending them money"

I had a few of these style try-ons last summer. Always follow the same template. Matched them on one of the apps, asked me to take it to what’s app immediately, started issuing demands there and then that I delete my app account and form a serious relationship with them. Oddly, I wasn’t convinced, and decided to have a bit of fun with it. Anyway, this is the sort of thing which eventuated, until ‘she’ started getting very annoyed. Really helped pass the tedium of shielding alone if I’m honest, just hoping the Albanian mafia can’t use GPS to trace my locati...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

18 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

I had a few of these style try-ons last summer. Always follow the same template. Matched them on one of the apps, asked me to take it to what’s app immediately, started issuing demands there and then that I delete my app account and form a serious relationship with them. Oddly, I wasn’t convinced, and decided to have a bit of fun with it. Anyway, this is the sort of thing which eventuated, until ‘she’ started getting very annoyed. Really helped pass the tedium of shielding alone if I’m honest, just hoping the Albanian mafia can’t use GPS to trace my locati...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hahahahaha.

 

 

My personal favourite

[Kevin D]

Outstanding.

[Trumo]

Indian man killed by his own rooster during cockfight 

[Section_31]

2 minutes ago, Trumo said:

Indian man killed by his own rooster during cockfight 

Fantastic. A rooster fitted with bladed weaponry. 

 

The bird's owner was impaled in the groin by the knife as the animal tried to escape. The man died on the way to hospital from a loss of blood.

[Mudface]

35 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Fantastic. A rooster fitted with bladed weaponry. 

 

The bird's owner was impaled in the groin by the knife as the animal tried to escape. The man died on the way to hospital from a loss of blood.

Was the bear OK?

[Karl_b]

15 hours ago, Trumo said:

Indian man killed by his own rooster during cockfight 

Good. Bastards.

[Anubis]

On 02/02/2021 at 22:59, Vincent Vega said:

 

Really shouldn’t laugh at that. But I am. Out loud.

[Anubis]

7 hours ago, Karl_b said:

Good. Bastards.

Yup.

[Trumo]

There are so many unintentionally funny lines in that story, such as

 

Quote

The animal was held at a police station before being transferred to a farm.

 

I'm picturing a rooster sat in a cramped sweat-stained concrete cell playing a lament on his harmonica.

[Anubis]

I remember the old days when scams were limited to small one-line adverts in the back of Private Eye from students and single mothers demanding money because they needed help.

[VladimirIlyich]

On 27/02/2021 at 18:23, Mudface said:

Was the bear OK?

And people understimate the Monkey with a knife.

[General Dryness]

On 24/02/2021 at 03:13, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

Hahahahaha.

 

 

My personal favourite

I liked "can I have a go on your twats".

[Rico1304]

There’s a story on the BBC about a lad who died after being electrocuted, these are direct quotes from the family;

 

Luke was our light 

He had a personality like a magnet

He instantly lit up a room. 
 

Just me? 

[stringvest]

On 28/02/2021 at 16:40, Anubis said:

Really shouldn’t laugh at that. But I am. Out loud.

That escalated slowly

[manwiththestick]

41 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

There’s a story on the BBC about a lad who died after being electrocuted, these are direct quotes from the family;

 

Luke was our light 

He had a personality like a magnet

He instantly lit up a room. 
 

Just me? 

It has come as a massive shock to us.

 

We was a well grounded person.

 

[Bjornebye]

50 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

There’s a story on the BBC about a lad who died after being electrocuted, these are direct quotes from the family;

 

Luke was our light 

He had a personality like a magnet

He instantly lit up a room. 
 

Just me? 

It wasn't his vault 

[Dr Nowt]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

There’s a story on the BBC about a lad who died after being electrocuted, these are direct quotes from the family;

 

Luke was our light 

He had a personality like a magnet

He instantly lit up a room. 
 

Just me? 

Witnessed the aftermath of a lad climbing onto an electricity substation roof and falling onto the live wire once. He’d gone up there direct from the pub next door after a proper skinful to collect his wallet, which his missus had thrown up there to stop him drinking more. Her name when it hit the papers? Shelley Fry.

[Herp McDerp]

Just now, Dr Nowt said:

Witnessed the aftermath of a lad climbing onto an electricity substation roof and falling onto the live wire once. He’d gone up there direct from the pub next door after a proper skinful to collect his wallet, which his missus had thrown up there to stop him drinking more. Her name when it hit the papers? Shelley Fry.

 

Did he make it?