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The disabled

 

I'll have to second that.

 

I remember when I went bowling one time a couple of years back a Down Syndromed girl was bowling in the lane next to us. She thought it'd be a good idea to walk down the lane and throw the ball from point blank range. She fell on her arse knocking all the pins over with her flailing legs. She got a strike. And the bowling ball flew in the air and winded her.

 

I was howling with laughter as she was crying. Her weep sounded like Sloth from the Goonies.

 

People looked at me in disgust.

 

I was in comedy heaven.

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Guest The Big Green Bastard
The disabled

 

That just reminded me of a certain inbetweeners sketch, unfortunately it can't be embedded.

 

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The disabled

 

Actually, good point.

 

When I went to get my swine flu jab, it was all the 'at risk' groups.

 

So there was me with asthma in the waiting room, and basically every mong under the sun there with me.

 

I was with my mate, and he's a cunt when it comes to things like this. He doesn't even have to say anything, just look at me, and theres just nothing I can do but start laughing.

 

I was waiting for fucking 40 minutes. 40 minutes of absolute torture.

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I'll have to second that.

 

I remember when I went bowling one time a couple of years back a Down Syndromed girl was bowling in the lane next to us. She thought it'd be a good idea to walk down the lane and throw the ball from point blank range. She fell on her arse knocking all the pins over with her flailing legs. She got a strike. And the bowling ball flew in the air and winded her.

 

I was howling with laughter as she was crying. Her weep sounded like Sloth from the Goonies.

 

People looked at me in disgust.

 

I was in comedy heaven.

 

Yes but, there's laughing at her and then 'accidently' throwing your ball at the lane where she was on her arse. I know what you're like...

 

I would of done the same.

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Actually, good point.

 

When I went to get my swine flu jab, it was all the 'at risk' groups.

 

So there was me with asthma in the waiting room, and basically every mong under the sun there with me.

 

I was with my mate, and he's a cunt when it comes to things like this. He doesn't even have to say anything, just look at me, and theres just nothing I can do but start laughing.

 

I was waiting for fucking 40 minutes. 40 minutes of absolute torture.

 

 

My mum is exactly the same.

 

If ever there's anything on telly about special people she'll be right on the phone in fucking pleats of laughter telling me to throw channel 5 on or something.

 

I love my mum.

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Actually, good point.

 

When I went to get my swine flu jab, it was all the 'at risk' groups.

 

So there was me with asthma in the waiting room, and basically every mong under the sun there with me.

 

I was with my mate, and he's a cunt when it comes to things like this. He doesn't even have to say anything, just look at me, and theres just nothing I can do but start laughing.

 

I was waiting for fucking 40 minutes. 40 minutes of absolute torture.

 

You mean topping up the gay gene.

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I've got a pretty sick sense of humour, my mates Grandad has Alzheimers, and I cracked a joke and we both laughed at it.

 

Also my mate's cousin is autistic, he's like 6ft 8 and build like a brick shithouse. He could real off any f* stat you can think of, although the most bizarre thing he is obsessed with feet. He could tell you the make of shoe you wore when you last saw him, and he crawls on all fours trying to swap your shoes and stroke your feet. When he last did it I had to go home because if I didn't I would have laughed my head off.

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I've got a pretty sick sense of humour, my mates Grandad has Alzheimers, and I cracked a joke and we both laughed at it.

 

Also my mate's cousin is autistic, he's like 6ft 8 and build like a brick shithouse. He could real off any f* stat you can think of, although the most bizarre thing he is obsessed with feet. He could tell you the make of shoe you wore when you last saw him, and he crawls on all fours trying to swap your shoes and stroke your feet. When he last did it I had to go home because if I didn't I would have laughed my head off.

 

You need to get that fucker down the Casino. All them type of people can count cards and shit like that.

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Point A: I've got a pretty sick sense of humour, my mates Grandad has Alzheimers, and I cracked a joke and we both laughed at it.

 

Point B: Also my mate's cousin is autistic, he's like 6ft 8 and build like a brick shithouse. He could real off any f* stat you can think of, although the most bizarre thing he is obsessed with feet. He could tell you the make of shoe you wore when you last saw him, and he crawls on all fours trying to swap your shoes and stroke your feet. When he last did it I had to go home because if I didn't I would have laughed my head off.

 

2 things, i have named them point A and point B.

 

Point A: People with Alzheimers still have the ability to laugh.

 

Point B: Have you tried throwing match sticks on the floor? Try it.

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Childhood obesity.

 

I know I'm going to get slaughtered for this but here goes. There's a school in my road (which my kids don't attend because it's shit). Every morning a fat Mum walks past with 2 daughters, aged about 4 and 5. They are the fattest girls you've ever seen, but so fat it's actually dead cute. I am regularly late taking my daughter out to school because I don't like to leave until I've seen the fat girls walk past, and had a little giggle.

 

I'm sorry, God.

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dare you to put a half eaten burger on your wall - see if they eat it

 

Don't think there'd be much of an "if" about it. You've not seen these kids. If you walked out of the house while they were passing they'd probably take a chunk out of your calves.

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I know I'm going to get slaughtered for this but here goes. There's a school in my road (which my kids don't attend because it's shit). Every morning a fat Mum walks past with 2 daughters, aged about 4 and 5. They are the fattest girls you've ever seen, but so fat it's actually dead cute. I am regularly late taking my daughter out to school because I don't like to leave until I've seen the fat girls walk past, and had a little giggle.

 

I'm sorry, God.

 

do you ever wonder how these fat horrible swamp donkies end up pregnant, seriously, what weird and horrible man would fuck such a swamper??

 

i was working in a community centre recently enough, its in the heart of a council estate here in dublin, and i couldnt belive the amount of horrible fat inbred looking scummers that have young children, it beggars belief that man can stoop so low

 

its ok to laugh at them though, isnt it?

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Really bad one... my neice on the anniversary of her Grandmothers passing went up to her Dad and asked 'Are you sad your mommy died?' he replied 'yes, a little bit are you?' to which she responded 'No im happy.... because my mommy is still alive'

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