Moving house

[Sugar Ape]

6 minutes ago, Captain Milk said:

Cracking news man. Chuffed for you.

Until the prospective buyers dig up the patio and find his French co-worker. 

[Dr Nowt]

10 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

Until the prospective buyers dig up the patio and find his French co-worker. 

For someone like Mook though, the macabre tableau he’s made arranging her various body parts is all part of his craft. It would be a terrible waste for that to not be seen by the wider public.

[Mook]

1 hour ago, Captain Milk said:

For someone like Mook though, the macabre tableau he’s made arranging her various body parts is all part of his craft. It would be a terrible waste for that to not be seen by the wider public.

The truly great artists, like Gina G & myself create for ourselves first & the wider public, a very distant second.

[A Red]

3 hours ago, El Diego said:

Trying to sell our gaff at the moment but only had 5 viewings in 3 weeks. Obviously going to have to drop the price, just wondered if anyone else had an issue with the COVID factor?

I've only had 1 viewing in 2 weeks. I know we are asking too much but you do dont you? Dont drop your pants too early.

 

Our hope is that when people can travel down and stay overnight in Cornwall it will pick up

[The Midnight Rambler]

Had two viewings yesterday. Beforehand I went round the house trying to think what might be hindering the sale. Then it clicked. My dad got me a signed Degsy photo one xmas as a piss take. I’ve had it on the mantelpiece for years. So it got the hook and hid it behind some other clutter. Only got two bloody offers today!

[Ne Moe Imya]

Imagine going into a house looking to buy and the seller has a signed picture of Degsy on the mantel.

 

You'd be thinking "this lad's a divvy" and wondering if he'd tried his hand at fixing his own electrical or plumbing. I'd say it's definitely the reason you haven't gotten offers before.

[Rico1304]

On 20/06/2020 at 22:00, A Red said:

I've only had 1 viewing in 2 weeks. I know we are asking too much but you do dont you? Dont drop your pants too early.

 

Our hope is that when people can travel down and stay overnight in Cornwall it will pick up

Dropping his pants may be the reason he’s not had a second viewing. 

[VladimirIlyich]

On 20/06/2020 at 19:20, Mook said:

I think it helped us, the minute the house went online we had people queueing up to view it. People seemed to have been sitting around waiting to buy a house for three months.

 

It was up on Friday 12th, offers started coming in on the Tuesday & then sold yesterday.

 

Hope things pick up with your place.

Did you charge extra for the mouse or is that a little surprise you left for them?

[Mook]

13 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Did you charge extra for the mouse or is that a little surprise you left for them?

The mouse is long gone, he proved a worthy adversary but ended up being crushed under a fridge in a complete accident.

 

A mouse wouldn't last two minutes with our new cat anyway, she makes Stalin look reasonable.

[VladimirIlyich]

10 hours ago, Mook said:

The mouse is long gone, he proved a worthy adversary but ended up being crushed under a fridge in a complete accident.

 

A mouse wouldn't last two minutes with our new cat anyway, she makes Stalin look reasonable.

RIP Mr Mouse.

[A Red]

On 20/06/2020 at 22:00, A Red said:

I've only had 1 viewing in 2 weeks. I know we are asking too much but you do dont you? Dont drop your pants too early.

 

Our hope is that when people can travel down and stay overnight in Cornwall it will pick up

Dropped my pants, had a viewing at 2pm today and an offer for the asking price at 3.30pm. Thank fuck.

[Rico1304]

Just now, A Red said:

Dropped my pants, had a viewing at 2pm today and an offer for the asking price at 3.30pm. Thank fuck.

One good thing about us being the same person is I’ll get half the price of a house I’ve never seen. 

[A Red]

Just now, Rico1304 said:

One good thing about us being the same person is I’ll get half the price of a house I’ve never seen. 

Yeah and if youre selling yours I get half too. Everyone (well us mainly) wins!

[A Red]

When it goes through I'm going to pay for a years membership for cloggy.

[Rico1304]

4 minutes ago, A Red said:

When it goes through I'm going to pay for a years membership for cloggy.

It’s the least we can do. 
 

How about a creative writing course for Ardja? 

[A Red]

2 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

It’s the least we can do. 
 

How about a creative writing course for Ardja? 

Basic English might be a better use of our money

[Rico1304]

Just now, A Red said:

Basic English might be a better use of our money

True. Covering comprehension, idioms and creative use of fictional WhatsApp groups. 

[Mook]

I'm never moving again. The sheer stress of the last month has been unbearable. The money we had to do up the new place was gone within four days of us moving in & the arguments have now started about how we're going to pay for the rest. We also took up a load of carpets & then found out our flooring is delayed until 22 September.

 

Two and a half weeks with no Wifi as well, end of days stuff this.

[A Red]

3 minutes ago, Mook said:

I'm never moving again. The sheer stress of the last month has been unbearable. The money we had to do up the new place was gone within four days of us moving in & the arguments have now started about how we're going to pay for the rest. We also took up a load of carpets & then found out our flooring is delayed until 22 September.

 

Two and a half weeks with no Wifi as well, end of days stuff this.

Its like child birth, which is a piece of piss really if we're honest just a lack of quality sex for a few months, you forget and do it again.

[The Midnight Rambler]

8 weeks since our sale and haven’t heard a dicky bird. Never liked solicitors since we signed Nunez.

[lifetime fan]

My buyer has pulled out again. For the second time. 
 

Cunt. 

[The Midnight Rambler]

9 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

My buyer has pulled out again. For the second time. 
 

Cunt. 

What a fucking shithouse.

[lifetime fan]

3 minutes ago, El Diego said:

What a fucking shithouse.

First time the mortgage company fucked him over asking him to raise his deposit from 10% to 30%. 
 

This time it’s on him being a prick. 

[The Midnight Rambler]

What do fucking cunting solicitors do?
 

New buyer - my buyer - me.
 

End of chain

 

Into the 13th week. Stealing a fucking living. Twats.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

Been on Radio 4 4 times in the last 5 months about losing my mortgage in March. House found, bid accepted, MIP agreed. And then, bang, lockdown. I had a 95% mortgage agreed and it is now 15% deposit required as a minimum which I can't get near. This is driving me up the wall. 

 

I've been working from home, as has Mrs AP, so I might get to 10%, but 15%? Taking the piss.