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Milton keynes: shite or good?


Juniper
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Had some good nights out there years ago with some mates who went to college down there. But having said that, as you can all probably attest, when you're out with your mates and have access to beer, pretty much anywhere is a good laugh. That said, one night I got chatting to someone who'd lived there for years and he said the problem was that it was in a low point in the country, so basically sat at the bottom of a natural basin and all the countries negativity drained in to it. 

 

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23 minutes ago, RJ Fan club said:

Yes, of Trees 

Impressive knowledge, less than a mile away from where I live. 

 

And why the fuck is size of god houses a deciding factor? Along with haunted lizard witch tits gives it her overdue thumbs up. 

 

Outwage

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28 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

How funny as it too Zeb that Bolton missed out, the irony being that there's probably nowhere that loves the Queen more than that absolute gammon Cyberdyne factory.

 

Fuck you Bolton, from hell's heart I stab at thee.

Fucking Bolton. 

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2 minutes ago, Remmie said:

The whole city thing is bollocks really isnt it? Who has ever looked at a former town being called a city and decided it's so much better now. 

 

Wait till they start twining MK with cities from other countries, as if that kind of shit has any real meaning.

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27 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

Wait till they start twining MK with cities from other countries, as if that kind of shit has any real meaning.

Yes it does. It means local councillors get freebies to whoever they're twinned with paid by the taxpayers.

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There's loads of cities that shouldn't be cities, Chester and Preston spring to mind. 

 

The obvious cities you think of are the likes of Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham Newcastle etc, basically because they're fucking big. 

 

If somewhere has one street and no Curries, it's not a city, fact.

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18 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

There's loads of cities that shouldn't be cities, Chester and Preston spring to mind. 

 

The obvious cities you think of are the likes of Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham Newcastle etc, basically because they're fucking big. 

 

If somewhere has one street and no Curries, it's not a city, fact.

Chester is historically very significant so is well deserving of city status,IMHO. York probably falls into that category too,I am guessing.

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  • 1 year later...

Another one in the eye to the haters, not my words but the words of compare the market no less:

 

City dubbed ‘Satan’s layby’ somehow voted UK’s most calming place to live

author image

Jessica Lindsay

Published Feb 20, 2024, 6:00am

 

Drone view of Milton Keynes, England

There’s more to MK than you might think

 

If you want to leave London for some peace and quiet, Buckinghamshire is the place to be.

 

Rather than traditionally picturesque spots the Chiltern Hills and pretty market towns like Winslow, though, Milton Keynes is apparently the most calming place to be.

 

It’s an unexpected choice, given critics have called the city ‘soulless’ and ‘grey’ due to its many roundabouts and concrete structures – and comedian Bill Bailey even dubbed it ‘Satan’s layby’.

 

But according to Compare The Market’s analysis of factors like noise levels, air quality and happiness ratings of residents, there’s no better place in the UK for a tranquil lifestyle.

 

Milton Keynes was followed by Preston, Oxford, Sheffield, and Wigan, scoring particularly highly for green spaces (93.4 out of 100) and air quality (86.8 out of 100).

 

 

The comparison site also found locals had access to 54 walking trails and 76 spas in the vicinity of the commuter hub, so whether it’s a stroll or massage that helps chill you out, you’re all set in MK.

 

The top five most calming cities in the UK

1. Milton Keynes

No. of people per square kilometre: 930

Noise pollution (out of 100): 27.5

Air quality (out of 100): 86.8

Quality of green spaces & parks (out of 100): 93.4

Happiness rating (out of 10): 7.4

No. of walking trails: 54

No. of spas: 76

Total score: 7.88

 

2. Preston

No. of people per square kilometre: 1,039

Noise pollution (out of 100): 12.5

Air quality (out of 100): 84.4

Quality of green spaces & parks (out of 100): 81.3

Happiness rating (out of 10): 7.5

No. of walking trails: 102

No. of spas: 45

Total score: 7.61

 

3. Oxford

No. of people per square kilometre: 3,553

Noise pollution (out of 100): 12.5

Air quality (out of 100): 84.4

Quality of green spaces & parks (out of 100): 88.2

Happiness rating (out of 10): 7.7

No. of walking trails: 58

No. of spas: 78

Total score: 7.48

 

4. Sheffield

No. of people per square kilometre: 1,513

Noise pollution (out of 100): 36.3

Air quality (out of 100): 69.6

Quality of green spaces & parks (out of 100): 87.5

Happiness rating (out of 10): 7.5

No. of walking trails: 181

No. of spas: 55

Total score: 7.14

 

5. Wigan

No. of people per square kilometre: 1,750

Noise pollution (out of 100): 25

Air quality (out of 100): 87.5

Quality of green spaces & parks (out of 100): 62.5

Happiness rating (out of 10): 7.6

No. of walking trails: 34

No. of spas: 49

Total score: 6.91

 

The fact is, Milton Keynes’ bleak, industrial reputation didn’t come from nowhere.

 

When it was formed in the 1960s, the ‘new town’ was mapped out with a series of grid roads designed to encourage driving and industrial estates to encourage business.

 

As such, its landscape can appear somewhat block-like and unnatural.

 

Milton Keynes City Centre aerial shot

The city was designed in the 1960s (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Get past the stereotypes, however, and you’ll realise that this is only half the story.

 

Yes, Milton Keynes is new, only awarded city status in 2022. But alongside its gigantic shopping centre and wealth of car parking spaces, it features over 22 million trees and shrubs in public open spaces.

 

Lake in Campbell Park on cloudy day in summer

It boasts 25% green space

In fact, approximately 25% of the urban area in MK is parkland or woodland, and it boasts two Sites of Special Scientific Interest (SSSIs) in Howe Park Wood and Oxley Mead.

 

The city also has more waterfront than the island of Jersey, 186 miles of ‘redway’ cycle paths, 200 public works of art, a 1,400 seat theatre, and three museums showcasing everything from history to computing.

 

Milton Keynes at a glance

Average house price: £346,695

Population: 264,349

Location: Milton Keynes is in Buckinghamshire, about 50 miles north-west of London and equally distant from Birmingham, Oxford, Cambridge and Leicester.

Commute into London: Trains into Euston take from 32 minutes to just over an hour

Commute into Birmingham: Trains into Birmingham New Street take from 56 minutes to around two hours

Milton Keynes has been touted as a hub for urban technology testing in recent years, and in 2020 has the ‘world’s largest autonomous robot fleet’ delivering products across the city.

 

And with an average house price of £346,695 (according to Rightmove) compared to £776,533 in London, it’s potentially where smart money is headed.

 

Even if you work in the capital, it’s less than an hour on a train in to Euston, with 222 direct services from Milton Keynes Central to London every day priced from £6.50 each way.

 

A row of terraced houses in England

Locals say it’s great for families (Picture: Getty Images)

Locals are fiercely defensive of their town; expected given the ribbing it gets,

 

Reddit user Diexters, who moved there three years ago after spending the last 14 years in London, said he was ‘pleasantly surprised,’ adding that Milton Keynes is ‘a really good place to live and bring up a family.’

 

xxmekailxx added: ‘Having lived here for my whole life so far, I have grown up to love this place and call it my home. Accessibility, cosy estates, a modern look town/city centre, lots of green spaces and a good mix of urban and rural are all great and unique things about MK.’

 

So perhaps we shouldn’t turn our noses up at life in Milton Keynes. If it’s as relaxing as they say, maybe we could do with a taste of it.

 

Do you have a story to share?

 

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

 

 https://metro.co.uk/2024/02/20/city-dubbed-satans-layby-voted-uks-calming-place-live-20305795/?fbclid=IwAR3bRNtxrdfuN8KBK5IcZzDhr1AzUqWJ9fMigrRk0RBUd7T1x7n2O-i6Gi8 

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