The world of a woman.

[Captain Willard]

15 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

I get either Capital or Smooth FM. Smooth I can handle, but Capital, sheesh! She does fill the bugger up though, and cleans it (outside) more often than I do.

I don’t mind Kiss, it’s the ridiculous volume I can’t stand. Turn the key and it’s like a fucking car bomb has gone off in the backseat. I don’t drive it very often so I forget about her annoying radio habits and it scares the fuck out of me every time. 

[Harry's Lad]

1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

We share cars. In 16 years of being together she’s never once washed it, put petrol in it at best less than a dozen times and because she’s going deaf (ex raver) she leaves the radio on Kiss Fm cranked up very loud. I get it back with the petrol light on, the seat too far forward for me to get in and the mirrors all wrong. 

No chance of her hoovering the dog hairs up then.

[Evelyn Tentions]

8 hours ago, Remmie said:

You should have just driven to Pontefract and not mentioned anything to see if she'd notice that you hadn't been to Wales. 

Teach her a few (maybe made up) Welsh phrases so she can blend in with the locals at the Kitchen shop.

[lifetime fan]

I got fed up of filling up the ex’s car for her. So when she changed cars I said to her to give me her bank card and I’d fill it up for her. 
 

Instead of taking it to the local supermarket garage I used to take it to the more expensive garage further down the road that was also a 24 hour off licence.  
 

I’d fill her car up and buy myself a crate of beer too and pay for it with her bank card. 
 

I think she questioned it once and just told her the new car had a bigger tank so cost more to fill up. 

[Ne Moe Imya]

On 29/03/2022 at 07:10, Josef Svejk said:

Sounds like theft to me. 

I thought the same - I asked her three times if she was sure it was meant to be thrown out!

 

Didn't really believe her until she showed me the Facebook post advertising that it was free to pick up (that had prompted her to drive over there in the first place to see if it was there).

 

It was one of those new developments where every house is worth over a million dollars, probably some rich woman redoing her house and couldn't be bothered to resell the old furniture so just posted it online for free and put it out by the road.

[manwiththestick]

I remember about ten years I was walking to our local shop and I passed a house which piled up on the driveway was what looked like the contents of the garage, there was a sign saying  something like "take what you want, free to a good home". If I had to guess I would say the lady who lived there who was about 50ish spitefully getting rid of her ex's stuff. 

 

I went for a mooch and there was a lot of tat but also some good stuff, power tools, golf clubs, gym equipment etc, also in there was a very high end mountain bike, it was a few years old and the front wheel was missing so that is what I took home with me. 

 

I was made up, but I can only imagine the guy being pissed off that all his stuff including a bike that in it's day was worth around 3 grand was just given away. 

 

I ended up putting a wheel on  the bike, cleaning it up and selling it for £750. Win.

[TheBitch]

Conversation with Mrs TheBitch this morning went like this…

 

Mrs TheBitch: We deliver forensics to Gothenburg. 

TheBitch: Oh yeah. Do you know where it is?

MTB: Yes. Sweden. 

TB: Did you know where it was before your new job?

MTB: Did I buggery. I thought it was where Batman lived. 

 

*dies*

[Creator Supreme]

1 minute ago, TheBitch said:

Conversation with Mrs TheBitch this morning went like this…

 

Mrs TheBitch: We deliver forensics to Gothenburg. 

TheBitch: Oh yeah. Do you know where it is?

MTB: Yes. Sweden. 

TB: Did you know where it was before your new job?

MTB: Did I buggery. I thought it was where Batman lived. 

 

*dies*

You have no idea how much I'm laughing at this, frigging brilliant.

[VladimirIlyich]

4 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

Conversation with Mrs TheBitch this morning went like this…

 

Mrs TheBitch: We deliver forensics to Gothenburg. 

TheBitch: Oh yeah. Do you know where it is?

MTB: Yes. Sweden. 

TB: Did you know where it was before your new job?

MTB: Did I buggery. I thought it was where Batman lived. 

 

*dies*

 

[AdamD]

Went to visit the lad at the weekend who is at uni in Glasgow. Decided to have a trip out to Balloch on the banks of Loch Lomond…

The Mrs; Will we see the Loch Ness monster at Loch Lomond?

 

An intelligent woman with a very responsible job !

[VladimirIlyich]

On 04/04/2022 at 21:05, AdamD said:

Went to visit the lad at the weekend who is at uni in Glasgow. Decided to have a trip out to Balloch on the banks of Loch Lomond…

The Mrs; Will we see the Loch Ness monster at Loch Lomond?

 

An intelligent woman with a very responsible job !

I like you naming your Penis after a local tourist attraction. 

[AdamD]

2 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I like you naming your Penis after a local tourist attraction. 

Very sharp 

[Section_31]

What's the constant obsession with getting women into engineering and computing? Are they genuinely barred from those careers in some way or do they, erm, just not want to do them? 

[Bjornebye]

15 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

What's the constant obsession with getting women into engineering and computing? Are they genuinely barred from those careers in some way or do they, erm, just not want to do them? 

"I was born in Tammy Girl, but I was made in Jaguar Halewood" 

 

Who gives a fuck to be fair. Good on them and anyone doing what the fuck they like be it blowing hair or fitting jarg meters. There's a Sky dish fitter round here, bloody lovely she is. 

[Captain Turdseye]

There was loads of birds in the plant I worked to next door to Jag. Going back ten years here. No engineering though, just production line jobs on OK money. 

[manwiththestick]

31 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

"I was born in Tammy Girl, but I was made in Jaguar Halewood" 

 

Who gives a fuck to be fair. Good on them and anyone doing what the fuck they like be it blowing hair or fitting jarg meters. There's a Sky dish fitter round here, bloody lovely she is. 

Do they still fit Sky dishes on the side of your house, I thought they were long gone?

[Bjornebye]

9 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Do they still fit Sky dishes on the side of your house, I thought they were long gone?

They still did two years ago. I got one fitted around then (not by her) Not seen her in a while. I think my whistling "when this old world starts getting me down...." as I walked past her up a ladder fitting my neighbours might have scared her off. She laughed though. Basically cheating. 

[Harry Squatter]

Mate in work was saying his Mrs moans that whenever he wants to do something he just does it and he sorts it within minutes. He took a chance and booked a flight to Brussels for £60 should we get to the final in Paris then get the train to Gare Du Nord. 

 

Her complaint is that he doesn't mess around when it's something he wants to do. He then argued with her saying that whenever he involves her in any decision making she takes fucking ages and slows everything down. They went to Budapest last year and she took 12 days to choose a hotel because she went on millions of Facebook travel pages and read TripAdvisor on every hotel, saying no if there was one bad review. They ended up booking a shit hotel for about 300 quid more than the one he suggested to begin with. 

 

Her nights out take weeks of planning and constant dithering, cancelling, rebooking tables for restaurants and Geneva conventions over WhatsApp. She asked him to give her a lift to Lark Lane and he said fine, just let me know what time you want to leave but it took her 4 days to decide what time she wanted to meet her mates. 

 

Think he'll end up murdering her at some point. 

[Furmedge]

Washing machine was on its last legs last night, confirmed it was goosed this morning.  She's out shopping and I'm working from home so called her to say its definitely knackered and need a new on but will wait until she gets home before buying it to be delivered over the weekend.  Gob on her because she thinks I'm asking her to research and pick one because I expect her to do all the washing.  "No", I replied, "I just know if I pick it and it's shite I won't hear the end of it for fucking months, but if you pick it and it's shite I won't hear a peep out of you about it ever."

 

Should be a fun bank holiday weekend sat in silence.

[littletedwest]

That's another thing they do that annoys me. The silent treatment

[sir roger]

1 minute ago, littletedwest said:

That's another thing they do that annoys me. The silent treatment

That's my favourite bit,

[YorkshireRed]

We’ve developed a bit of a ‘Fish & Chip Friday’ in our house.

Up to now, I pay every week. Four times, three small peas, two breadcakes (yes - that’s what normal people call them) comes to around £27.

 

The wife said she’d pay tonight if I went and got them. I pay by card, so she said she’d transfer the money. I’ve just received a payment of £15. 
 

I guess I should be thankful she’s saved me £15. 

[Creator Supreme]

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

We’ve developed a bit of a ‘Fish & Chip Friday’ in our house.

Up to now, I pay every week. Four times, three small peas, two breadcakes (yes - that’s what normal people call them) comes to around £27.

 

The wife said she’d pay tonight if I went and got them. I pay by card, so she said she’d transfer the money. I’ve just received a payment of £15. 
 

I guess I should be thankful she’s saved me £15. 

No barmcakes mate?

[YorkshireRed]

20 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

No barmcakes mate?

No idea what they are. 

[Bruce Spanner]

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

We’ve developed a bit of a ‘Fish & Chip Friday’ in our house.

Up to now, I pay every week. Four times, three small peas, two breadcakes (yes - that’s what normal people call them) comes to around £27.

 

The wife said she’d pay tonight if I went and got them. I pay by card, so she said she’d transfer the money. I’ve just received a payment of £15. 
 

I guess I should be thankful she’s saved me £15. 

 

Nope, not today.

 

Nonsense.

 

Negged.