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Ezekiel 25:17

The world of a woman.

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On 02/01/2022 at 20:24, Jenson said:

Split up with my (now ex) bird a few months back, found out a couple of weeks ago that she kept a notepad of everything I did wrong over the course of our relationship, including (and I shit you not) calling her a div when she missed her footing and fell up the stairs.

Haha, the woman I was seeing for something like 8 months some time after splitting with my ex-wife had two files saved on her phone. One was a list of all the things she found annoying about me, the other was a file that existed only so she could write down what she’s wanted to name the list file, but couldn’t because it wouldn’t let her use that many characters.

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1 hour ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Haha, the woman I was seeing for something like 8 months some time after splitting with my ex-wife had two files saved on her phone. One was a list of all the things she found annoying about me, the other was a file that existed only so she could write down what she’s wanted to name the list file, but couldn’t because it wouldn’t let her use that many characters.

What?! 

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1 hour ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Haha, the woman I was seeing for something like 8 months some time after splitting with my ex-wife had two files saved on her phone. One was a list of all the things she found annoying about me, the other was a file that existed only so she could write down what she’s wanted to name the list file, but couldn’t because it wouldn’t let her use that many characters.

at least she hasn't sent it to TK.

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56 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

You read it right. My missus now makes regular references to “the list”. We laugh. 

What an absolute lunatic. I bet she was a great shag though. Nut-jobs like that usually are. You know when you get in from taking her out that it's no holds barred bedroom action but you have to check under her pillow for an ice-pick. 

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9 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Haha, the woman I was seeing for something like 8 months some time after splitting with my ex-wife had two files saved on her phone. One was a list of all the things she found annoying about me, the other was a file that existed only so she could write down what she’s wanted to name the list file, but couldn’t because it wouldn’t let her use that many characters.

Jesus, she sounds right stabby.

 

Bet she had cats.

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Yeah we were playing scrabble and I put down Tom ( as in a male cat) she looked it up claiming names weren't allowed.

" says it's another word for a male turkey,  but how's that work? turkeys are male chicken"

 

She's 52 as well 

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49 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Yeah we were playing scrabble and I put down Tom ( as in a male cat) she looked it up claiming names weren't allowed.

" says it's another word for a male turkey,  but how's that work? turkeys are male chicken"

 

She's 52 as well 

Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vets

 

"ey up t'cat int well"

 

"is it a tom?"

 

"No, he's here in basket"

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8 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

 

Anyone remember this loudmouth annoying scrubber?. 

I remember seeing some videos shared on Twitter. From New Brighton or somewhere like that isn’t she? A right crank 

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1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

I remember seeing some videos shared on Twitter. From New Brighton or somewhere like that isn’t she? A right crank 

Woodchurch, I'm sure she will get filled in when she's in prison when she can't shut the fuck up for 5 seconds.

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46 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

Woodchurch, I'm sure she will get filled in when she's in prison when she can't shut the fuck up for 5 seconds.

Nah , she'll be on spice in 5 minutes and playing statues for 8 weeks.

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Missus just said 'A mortgage isn't really debt.".

 

I just burst out laughing. You'll can guess who pays the mortgage off as well.

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We were walking past the cows on the farm and the new ones we have are massive, so I pointed at one and called it a ‘fat cow’ being the hilarious cunt I am.

 

Her response ‘Don’t fat shame her’

 

She was serious as well.

 

Too much Twitter for somebody…

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A woman in work said she was watching The Wolfman with Benicio Del Toro in it. She genuinely thought he was Johnny from Coronation Street and thought he was killed off from the soap to star in more Hollywood films. 

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The Mrs wanted an extension and a new kitchen, so now most of my savings are gone and I'm in debt, but happy wife happy life etc. I can work from home and she can't, so for the last six weeks I've lived with the dust and racket, no water and all that bollocks. Now she keeps asking me why things aren't finished or why a tradesman is coming on one day but not another, saying she's fed up as it's gone on too long. I spend the days trying to project manage these shits, acting as a go between between what she wants and what they've done/haven't done the day before, then spend my evenings trying to convince her it'll all be worth it and not to get too downbeat, even though it's her baby in the first place. 

 

Stay single kids, get a dog, get a pocket pussy - be a thinker, not a stinker.  

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The Mrs has just come into the house with a three foot long piece of some kind of white plastic edging. I said "What's that?" and she said "I don't know, it was out in the front". I followed up with "Is it ours?" and she said "No". I said "Why have you brought it into the house?" and she said "It's windy". 

 

There's only so far you can go with these conversations. 

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12 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

The Mrs has just come into the house with a three foot long piece of some kind of white plastic edging. I said "What's that?" and she said "I don't know, it was out in the front". I followed up with "Is it ours?" and she said "No". I said "Why have you brought it into the house?" and she said "It's windy". 

 

There's only so far you can go with these conversations. 

 

I read that in a Joe Pesci voice. 

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41 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

The Mrs wanted an extension and a new kitchen, so now most of my savings are gone and I'm in debt, but happy wife happy life etc. I can work from home and she can't, so for the last six weeks I've lived with the dust and racket, no water and all that bollocks. Now she keeps asking me why things aren't finished or why a tradesman is coming on one day but not another, saying she's fed up as it's gone on too long. I spend the days trying to project manage these shits, acting as a go between between what she wants and what they've done/haven't done the day before, then spend my evenings trying to convince her it'll all be worth it and not to get too downbeat, even though it's her baby in the first place. 

 

Stay single kids, get a dog, get a pocket pussy - be a thinker, not a stinker.  

This has been my life since we moved into our new house.

 

My favourite part is when the joiner or whoever is finished, the missus will start moaning about all the things they've done wrong, like I give a flying fuck. As long as I have a TV, stereo, sofa, kitchen & bed, I'm happy. I could'nt give two fucks about what a door looks like.

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4 minutes ago, Mook said:

This has been my life since we moved into our new house.

 

My favourite part is when the joiner or whoever is finished, the missus will start moaning about all the things they've done wrong, like I give a flying fuck. As long as I have a TV, stereo, sofa, kitchen & bed, I'm happy. I could'nt give two fucks about what a door looks like.

 

Women definitely like setting men against each other in some sort of conflict situation, it's one step away from 'are you going to let him talk to me like that?' in the pub. 

 

It's like me saying I want my toilet cleaned but getting my Mrs to organise it with a female cleaner, coming home, looking at the bog and saying 'not good enough, get on the blower and call her a bitch'. 

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