The world of a woman.

[RJ Fan club]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

They all have an allergic reaction to emptying the vent too. 

Hehe too right.

 

mine never even empties the drum never mind the vent. Although if she sees me using the drier she aways reminds me to empty the vent “as it causes a fire if you don’t”.

 

the fact I don’t think she has ever emptied herself hasn’t entered her head. 

[Remmie]

51 minutes ago, Red74 said:

She comes home last night and tells me I’m having bbq spare ribs for my tea, but I’ll have to eat them all as she’s had something to eat with her mate in the afternoon.

 

I weren’t complaining and when she served them up they looked gorgeous.

 

Next minute she sits down next to me and starts eating my ribs from my plate.

 

Me: Fuck off Eve 

Her: whose Eve

Me: from Adam & Eve

Her: I don’t get it

Me: how was Eve created

Her: I don’t know, from an apple?

 

 

I'm just imagining a comedy sketch now where she thinks you are cheating on her with some bitch called Eve

[Red74]

2 minutes ago, Remmie said:

I'm just imagining a comedy sketch now where she thinks you are cheating on her with some bitch called Eve

She’s probably thought that too

[Curly]

3 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

It might not be a shed and it might not be Jack Daniel’s but I bet most blokes cohabiting with those female types can relate to this. 

Was thinking that - what a sanctuary that sounds. The original and uncunty version of a “mancave”. Whatever happened to the strong silent type? I bet Gary Cooper had a shed, but nobody knew about it, as opposed to the whoppers who post pictures of their “mancaves” on Facebook.

[VladimirIlyich]

24 minutes ago, Belarus said:

Was thinking that - what a sanctuary that sounds. The original and uncunty version of a “mancave”. Whatever happened to the strong silent type? I bet Gary Cooper had a shed, but nobody knew about it, as opposed to the whoppers who post pictures of their “mancaves” on Facebook.

Oh for the days where a 'man cave' was simply another name for a vagina.

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Oh for the days where a 'man cave' was simply another name for a vagina.

Or Clare Baldings Bucket 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Or Clare Baldings Bucket 

That would be 'unchartered territory' for any man.

[Elite]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Or Clare Baldings Bucket 

 

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

That would be 'unchartered territory' for any man.

Yep and I won't be opening the foodie thread for a while just incase Carvalho fancies a bolognese 

[tokyojoe]

I made the massive mistake of stepping ouside after one of the moggies was farting about outside and managed getting my feet wet. Trotted back leaving marginal dampness on the newly cleaned kitchen floor.

 

HI: I've just cleaned that

Me; So the cats are expected to dry their feet are they?

 

Silence.

[tokyojoe]

They just get worse.

 

Left HI's sistets (bints mum) aftera super dinner to find that I didn't have my phone on me. I rang her sisters to to check while she was still there which was met with an abrubt response.

 

Phone located now, next to the bog where it had obviously fallen out of my pocket.

 

All my fault of course. I don't think she's speaking to me now.

 

I fucking give up.

[A Red]

My mum announced yesterday that she's getting some new lenses and frames for her glasses in the new year.

[Trumo]

9 minutes ago, A Red said:

My mum announced yesterday that she's getting some new lenses and frames for her glasses in the new year.

 

The Trigger's Broom Theorem.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

On 25/12/2021 at 18:35, tokyojoe said:

They just get worse.

 

Left HI's sistets (bints mum) aftera super dinner to find that I didn't have my phone on me. I rang her sisters to to check while she was still there which was met with an abrubt response.

 

Phone located now, next to the bog where it had obviously fallen out of my pocket.

 

All my fault of course. I don't think she's speaking to me now.

 

I fucking give up.

 

I don't understand. Why would someone be angry that you left your phone somewhere?

[Remmie]

4 minutes ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

 

I don't understand. Why would someone be angry that you left your phone somewhere?

She was having a shit at the time she answered it 

[Edward.]

On 21/12/2021 at 12:08, Pete said:

I get this all the time.  The worst one is if she's up late watching telly she never turns the volume down or puts on headphones, If I do the same heaven forbid! 

Explain that to her I’m sure everything will be ok.

[tokyojoe]

53 minutes ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

 

I don't understand. Why would someone be angry that you left your phone somewhere?

She's a woman. Does anything else need explaining?

[Pete]

On 19/12/2021 at 14:26, manwiththestick said:

To be fair to your missus, she's not wrong.

 

58 today..

 

 

She just became the hottest Twi'lek in The Book of Boba Fett too. 

[Jennings]

*Jennings allows meal to settle. Awaits the waiter. Asks for the bill. Awaits the bill. Awaits the card machine. Settles the bill. Starts to put on his coat and rises to leave.

Mrs Jennings: Just gonna nip to the loo before we go.

[YorkshireRed]

4 minutes ago, Jennings said:

*Jennings allows meal to settle. Awaits the waiter. Asks for the bill. Awaits the bill. Awaits the card machine. Settles the bill. Starts to put on his coat and rises to leave.

Mrs Jennings: Just gonna nip to the loo before we go.

Mrs YorkshireRed would have visited the loo just after the bill had been asked for and returned once she was confident it had been settled. 
 

She’d then bollock me for something, could be anything. 
 

We’d then leave. 

[JagSquared]

On 25/12/2021 at 20:35, tokyojoe said:

They just get worse.

 

Left HI's sistets (bints mum) aftera super dinner to find that I didn't have my phone on me. I rang her sisters to to check while she was still there which was met with an abrubt response.

 

Phone located now, next to the bog where it had obviously fallen out of my pocket.

 

All my fault of course. I don't think she's speaking to me now.

 

I fucking give up.

So you're pissed off, that she’s pissed of because she rumbled your plan to video bints mum dropping the kids off at the pool? 

even I saw through the “obviously fallen out my pocket” excuse.

[Fowlers God]

At me ma’ and da’s and the sister in law comes out with a fucking corker. 
 

game is more than or less than. 
 

question the Great Lakes in America hold at 50% of all fresh water 

 

so are we including all their swimming pools cause they have a few

[sir roger]

Her - ' Ooh the new Death on the Nile is on the pictures on the 15th of February , you can take me to see it for your birthday '

 

Not sure where to start on that .

[Remmie]

35 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Her - ' Ooh the new Death on the Nile is on the pictures on the 15th of February , you can take me to see it for your birthday '

 

Not sure where to start on that .

15th February isn't your birthday? 

[sir roger]

3 hours ago, Remmie said:

15th February isn't your birthday? 

17th , Remmie

 

Although it was more the me getting her a present for my birthday that confused me.