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The world of a woman.


Ezekiel 25:17
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54 minutes ago, A Red said:

When the phone rings in our house whilst we're watching something on tele, despite my protestations, she always answers it just in case its an emergency. Instead of then taking the fucking thing elsewhere she will then sit there with the tele on mute talking shite whilst giving me daggers for having a face like thunder.

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On 19/10/2021 at 18:37, Special K said:

Just once I'd like my wife to understand the concept of money in our bank account being finite.

 

Wants something doing this week but we don't have the money for it yet

 

"Does that me I can't get it done then?"

 

Yes, yes it does

I think the concept has finally trickled into my wife's head. It's only taken 20 years. Her mother, on the other hand...her philosophy is that if there is enough money in the account at this very moment then she can afford it. All the direct debits you might have between now and pay day? They'll be fine. Maddening. 

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It's reached that time of the year when the heating goes on and women can display their full talent for sharing the heat with people or animals within ten metres of the house by constantly leaving all the fucking doors wide open.

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11 minutes ago, Mook said:

It's reached that time of the year when the heating goes on and women can display their full talent for sharing the heat with people or animals within ten metres of the house by constantly leaving all the fucking doors wide open.

Came back late tonight, heating's been whacked up to 22°C, not a single internal door off the hall is shut, and there was one person in the house.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Mrs HL has just said we're using far too much kitchen roll as I used a square to wipe a small spillage on the kitchen table.

 

She then proceeds to wrap about 6 squares around her hand to dry the worktop after wiping it with a wrung out dishcloth.

 

Me.  You've just said we're using far too much kitchen roll.

Her.  Ohh, it's what it's for isn't it?.

 

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Snakes with tits. We’re on our way to Manchester to see my goddaughters and best mate. She’s driving. “Google this” “do that” “can I go?” “What does that light mean?” Just fuck off , I can feel her snarling me out of the corner of her eye because I’m on my phone and not obediently being at her beck and call like fucking Grist. I’m close to slamming the handbrake on in the middle of the m62 here. 

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2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Snakes with tits. We’re on our way to Manchester to see my goddaughters and best mate. She’s driving. “Google this” “do that” “can I go?” “What does that light mean?” Just fuck off , I can feel her snarling me out of the corner of her eye because I’m on my phone and not obediently being at her beck and call like fucking Grist. I’m close to slamming the handbrake on in the middle of the m62 here. 

Love and marriage, love and marriage......

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Just do the driving yourself. I won’t let her drive on long journeys now. She’s a shameless tailgater and I end up sitting in the passenger seat with my toes curled and my feet pressed down hard on the floor as if I’m trying to brake. 
 

Plus whoever drives gets control of the Spotify. Three and a half hours of 90’s pop music is traumatic enough, even without the reckless driving. 
 

The only time I’m happy for her to drive is if we’re going somewhere that I can have a drink. 

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3 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Just do the driving yourself. I won’t let her drive on long journeys now. She’s a shameless tailgater and I end up sitting in the passenger seat with my toes curled and my feet pressed down hard on the floor as if I’m trying to brake. 
 

Plus whoever drives gets control of the Spotify. Three and a half hours of 90’s pop music is traumatic enough, even without the reckless driving. 
 

The only time I’m happy for her to drive is if we’re going somewhere that I can have a drink. 

Fucks sake, you are me and I claim my 5 pounds.

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My missus will have a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit, she will then dump the biscuit wrapper in the cup with the dregs of her tea so that when I take it through to the dishwasher, I have to reach into the cup and get my hand wet pulling the wrapper out to put it in the bin.

 

Lazy & minging. Does my fucking head in.

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1 hour ago, Mook said:

My missus will have a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit, she will then dump the biscuit wrapper in the cup with the dregs of her tea so that when I take it through to the dishwasher, I have to reach into the cup and get my hand wet pulling the wrapper out to put it in the bin.

 

Lazy & minging. Does my fucking head in.

 

Harsh on your missus that.

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1 hour ago, Mook said:

My missus will have a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit, she will then dump the biscuit wrapper in the cup with the dregs of her tea so that when I take it through to the dishwasher, I have to reach into the cup and get my hand wet pulling the wrapper out to put it in the bin.

 

Lazy & minging. Does my fucking head in.

 

My fuckwit does this too. You sometimes get the odd makeup wipe, cotton wool or bits of fluff/hair they've found in there too. Another gem is thinking that chucking everything in the dishwasher and leaving it all in any fucking direction is a perfect arrangement for things to be cleaned. 

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4 minutes ago, Papa Noël said:

 

My fuckwit does this too. You sometimes get the odd makeup wipe, cotton wool or bits of fluff/hair they've found in there too. Another gem is thinking that chucking everything in the dishwasher and leaving it all in any fucking direction is a perfect arrangement for things to be cleaned. 

Them little round cotton wipes. Fucking bastards 

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My mate's Mrs was going out on her Christmas meal last Friday. 

 

He was off and she asked the day before if he would pick their youngest up from school so she could get ready to go out a bit earlier.

 

He said no, before he even got a chance to say anything else she was ranting and raving calling him a selfish bastard who didn't want her to have a good night out, stormed off upstairs slamming doors..

 

She comes down nearly in tears and asks him why he won't pick their son up from school and he just said "because tomorrow is an inset day so he isn't going to school so I don't need to pick him up either".

 

No apology or acknowledgement that she overreacted, just slopes back off upstairs. 

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