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Ezekiel 25:17

The world of a woman.

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37 minutes ago, alles ist gut said:

A whole hour showering? That’s a long wank by anyone’s standards

It’s not usual for me to spend two or three hours showering/bathing. I enjoy rinsing.

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10 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

It’s not usual for me to spend two or three hours showering/bathing. I enjoy rinsing.

You're a proper peculiar bloke. Take it as a compliment as I mean it as one. Eating M&M's with a spoon, having 3 hour showers, etc. Keep it up. Ace.

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Away in the Lake District and some woman caused murder in a cafe at one of the forest visitor centres.

 

My and the brother in law are queuing in this cafe for two coffees, it's midday so it is busy and there is a posh sounding woman two in front of us in the queue, she must have been queuing for about 10 minutes until she gets to the front to give her order and she appears to be ordering for a big group, she has a young girl with her and starts sending her pit side to ask what so and so wants, and can she nip back out and ask Sue if she wants sugar in her tea, etc etc. I'm shaking my head, why not get that shit together whilst queuing, the guy in front of me looks equally pissed off.

 

Anyway after about another 10 minutes this womans order is fulfilled and she comes to pay, oh guess what, she's left her card with her husband who is outside somewhere, young girl gets sent back out to get it, woman then pays and leaves the shop. 

 

Guy in front of us gets to the young lady taking orders and just about to start when woman come back in the shop, barges to the front and tells the girl behind the counter that she forgot two orders and could she order them now. This chap in front tells her quite abruptly that she needs to get to the back of the queue and she's got a face on her like a smacked arse and arguing that she only wants two extra coffees, my brother in law shouts "so do we love and we have had to stand here for 20 minutes whilst you were dithering your way through your order, get back in line".

 

Again she protests but the waiting  queue were getting more vocal, telling her to get back in line until she stormed out saying she would take her business elsewhere, cue her leaving the shop to cheers and laughing from us and the rest of the queuing customers.

 

When we finally left the shop she was still in the picnic area in her group, still ranting off to one of her friends.

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8 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Away in the Lake District and some woman caused murder in a cafe at one of the forest visitor centres.

 

My and the brother in law are queuing in this cafe for two coffees, it's midday so it is busy and there is a posh sounding woman two in front of us in the queue, she must have been queuing for about 10 minutes until she gets to the front to give her order and she appears to be ordering for a big group, she has a young girl with her and starts sending her pit side to ask what so and so wants, and can she nip back out and ask Sue if she wants sugar in her tea, etc etc. I'm shaking my head, why not get that shit together whilst queuing, the guy in front of me looks equally pissed off.

 

Anyway after about another 10 minutes this womans order is fulfilled and she comes to pay, oh guess what, she's left her card with her husband who is outside somewhere, young girl gets sent back out to get it, woman then pays and leaves the shop. 

 

Guy in front of us gets to the young lady taking orders and just about to start when woman come back in the shop, barges to the front and tells the girl behind the counter that she forgot two orders and could she order them now. This chap in front tells her quite abruptly that she needs to get to the back of the queue and she's got a face on her like a smacked arse and arguing that she only wants two extra coffees, my brother in law shouts "so do we love and we have had to stand here for 20 minutes whilst you were dithering your way through your order, get back in line".

 

Again she protests but the waiting  queue were getting more vocal, telling her to get back in line until she stormed out saying she would take her business elsewhere, cue her leaving the shop to cheers and laughing from us and the rest of the queuing customers.

 

When we finally left the shop she was still in the picnic area in her group, still ranting off to one of her friends.

The scary thing is that she will think she was in the right and everyone else was in the wrong. Zero self-awareness = absolute cunt 

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7 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Post of the day. 


Really?

 

I love the hustle and bustle of a bar, random conversations etc.

 

One thing I really missed about the transience of bars/pubs.

 

Fuck speaking to the same boring cunt all night. 

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Just now, Bruce Spanner said:


Really?

 

I love the hustle and bustle of a bar, random conversations etc.

 

One thing I really missed about the transience of bars/pubs.

 

Fuck speaking to the same boring cunt all night. 

To clarify, I’d like to be all three to be an option.

 

I don’t mind the occasional trip to the bar but I like the convenience of table service and the apps as well.

 

Choice rules. 

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8 hours ago, Elite said:

You're a proper peculiar bloke. Take it as a compliment as I mean it as one. Eating M&M's with a spoon, having 3 hour showers, etc. Keep it up. Ace.

 

8 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

 

186B22BB-875B-4A42-8245-F54AC57A42B5.gif

Only the tip of the iceberg* am I right? 

 

 

*Which you probably sleep on

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9 hours ago, Elite said:

You're a proper peculiar bloke. Take it as a compliment as I mean it as one. Eating M&M's with a spoon, having 3 hour showers, etc. Keep it up. Ace.


Still got the picture on my phone from the M&M shop in London that I took for Tony. 
 

They sell M&M spoons! Presumably to use while you sit down to eat the M&M’s that your kids insist on having even though the bastards are charging £11 each for a medium sized cup.  
 

Moanero has basically revolutionised the entire chocolate industry with his fucked up ideas and then he has the brass neck to come on her and moan about them. 
 

 

7B5BF985-D979-4167-97CD-3B394AAFCA86.jpeg

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I feel like I'm being set up this week. We've got carpet fitters coming in 10 day's time to do the two bedrooms, which means I need to get on and finish decorating this weekend. We've been making a plan all week (partly why we went on the excellent trip to IKEA), discussing colours, etc. I got up bright and early to get some general housework done whilst she had a lie in so that when she got up we could crack on.

 

She's just come downstairs and remembered she has to go get her hair done, so she's gone out and I'm left still needing to walk the dog and with a host of other jobs that need doing, rather than tag-teaming them as we'd planned. She's on school holidays so could have gone any day this week. Super.

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8 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

I feel like I'm being set up this week. We've got carpet fitters coming in 10 day's time to do the two bedrooms, which means I need to get on and finish decorating this weekend. We've been making a plan all week (partly why we went on the excellent trip to IKEA), discussing colours, etc. I got up bright and early to get some general housework done whilst she had a lie in so that when she got up we could crack on.

 

She's just come downstairs and remembered she has to go get her hair done, so she's gone out and I'm left still needing to walk the dog and with a host of other jobs that need doing, rather than tag-teaming them as we'd planned. She's on school holidays so could have gone any day this week. Super.

Yeah you just failed another level of The Shit Test. On to the next level. 

 

Enjoy. 

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26 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

I feel like I'm being set up this week. We've got carpet fitters coming in 10 day's time to do the two bedrooms, which means I need to get on and finish decorating this weekend. We've been making a plan all week (partly why we went on the excellent trip to IKEA), discussing colours, etc. I got up bright and early to get some general housework done whilst she had a lie in so that when she got up we could crack on.

 

She's just come downstairs and remembered she has to go get her hair done, so she's gone out and I'm left still needing to walk the dog and with a host of other jobs that need doing, rather than tag-teaming them as we'd planned. She's on school holidays so could have gone any day this week. Super.

That'll be your fault for not reminding her.

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1 hour ago, Karl_b said:

I feel like I'm being set up this week. We've got carpet fitters coming in 10 day's time to do the two bedrooms, which means I need to get on and finish decorating this weekend. We've been making a plan all week (partly why we went on the excellent trip to IKEA), discussing colours, etc. I got up bright and early to get some general housework done whilst she had a lie in so that when she got up we could crack on.

 

She's just come downstairs and remembered she has to go get her hair done, so she's gone out and I'm left still needing to walk the dog and with a host of other jobs that need doing, rather than tag-teaming them as we'd planned. She's on school holidays so could have gone any day this week. Super.

Don't forget to compliment her on her new 'do... 

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Just now, Bjornebye said:

She’ll be sat in the hairdressers calling you a lazy cunt 

Two cups of coffee, some egg on toast and hanging out with the dog later, she'd be correct.

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Just now, Karl_b said:

Two cups of coffee, some egg on toast and hanging out with the dog later, she'd be correct.

Hahaha too right. Get drunk. When she asks what your doing just say you forgot you’d planned to get pissed up today. 

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1 minute ago, Stouffer said:

My missus takes fucking ages to get out of the car, why is this?

You try breaking out of the boot 

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1 hour ago, Stouffer said:

My missus takes fucking ages to get out of the car, why is this?

Mine takes ages to lock it. You've got the keys in your hand, why do you put them in your bag then have to get them out to lock the car again?

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Got to love a bit of female hypocrisy. Seen two sets of women on my Facebook going to parties where they have hired "naked butlers". Basically some young male model type just wears something covering up his knob and they pretend to clean the house for them Saw loads of photos of women old enough to be his ma salivating over the mere sight of a young man with barely any clothes on and a few grabbing his arse.

 

Can you imagine the fume if a group of fellas got some semi naked young girl to come round and be a maid?.  Then loads of photos got posted on Facaids of men far older than her drooling over her and pretending to grab her arse?. You'd get called a perv/just see women as sex objects and a total danger to be around.  

 

This particular woman who posted tye photos went mental once when she found out that her husband had gone to a lapdancing bar in Las Vegas on a stag party and threatened to throw him out. 

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The wife had a rant earlier over who would be paying for the bags the golfers are using at the Olympics (country branded, rather than the usual sponsors logos).

 

She thinks they should be buying their own bags. 
 

I was unsurprised to note how her rant moved swiftly from commentary on traditional Olympic values to me snoring loudly in bed one night about seven years ago. 

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