The world of a woman.

[Trumo]

3 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Just discovered it has under-bed storage where the mattress shoots up at high velocity.  If you're stood in the 30cm leg room it would actually decapitate you. 

 

Frees up some space I suppose.

[manwiththestick]

3 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

The new bed has arrived. Offers about 30cm of space between the foot of it and the wardrobes. Fantastic stuff. 

Just take the wardrobe doors off. Easier access to your clothes, you found a solution to an issue you didn't know you had.

[KMD7]

3 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

The new bed has arrived. Offers about 30cm of space between the foot of it and the wardrobes. Fantastic stuff. 

Brilliant

[VladimirIlyich]

9 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

The new bed has arrived. Offers about 30cm of space between the foot of it and the wardrobes. Fantastic stuff. 

Your missus needs a gay male friend. She hasn't quite got to grips with this interior decorating lark yet.

[Evelyn Tentions]

12 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

The new bed has arrived. Offers about 30cm of space between the foot of it and the wardrobes. Fantastic stuff. 

At least they're sliding doors, not ones that need to open outwards. She will probably claim she knew this all along.

[General Dryness]

11 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Just discovered it has under-bed storage where the mattress shoots up at high velocity.  If you're stood in the 30cm leg room it would actually decapitate you. 

No head, no headache.

[Paulie Dangerously]

We've been up to about 4 deliveries a day the last few days. All sorts arriving. I'm on my arse with Covid, everyone meant to be self isolating, made a decision to try and avoid Amazon if we could to ensure other businesses survive the lockdown. No quarters given by lady d. Hermes, DPd, Yodel, parcel force, Moonpig. The fucking lot have been familiar with our front door this week. 

[Bellflower]

On 14/12/2020 at 15:44, Paulie Dangerously said:

Just discovered it has under-bed storage where the mattress shoots up at high velocity.  If you're stood in the 30cm leg room it would actually decapitate you. 

Tell me about it.

Ours arrived yesterday, we bought the side opening version.

I opened it without the mattress on it , and it hit SWMBO in the face, 2 black eyes and a bloody nose !

[Chairman Meow]

37 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

We've been up to about 4 deliveries a day the last few days. All sorts arriving. I'm on my arse with Covid, everyone meant to be self isolating, made a decision to try and avoid Amazon if we could to ensure other businesses survive the lockdown. No quarters given by lady d. Hermes, DPd, Yodel, parcel force, Moonpig. The fucking lot have been familiar with our front door this week. 

The only thing I took from that was that Lady D was DP'ed by the delivery drivers. 

[Bjornebye]

No Woman No Cry 

[Creator Supreme]

5 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

No Woman No Cry 

Once again proving you can take the sailor out of the navy, but you'll never get navy out of the sailor!

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Once again proving you can take the sailor out of the navy, but you'll never get navy out of the sailor!

Don't knock it till you've tried it 

[Bob]

My missus called me yesterday to tell me she’d earned entry to her favourite thread on here. I feel reluctant to add her story on the basis that she had the self awareness to realise it belonged here, but it’s still on balance worthy, and it took someone explaining her stupidity to her to make her realise the magnitude of her error, so in it goes.

 

she went to do the hat ever it is she does when she visits her horses each day. I don’t really know the ins and outs.

 

they’re currently living outside without stables so she had washed her horses boots and was taking them back with her, but they weren’t fully dried yet.

 

her plan was to put them over the air blowers in the car for half an hour while she did other stuff but didn’t want to leave the engine running so just turned the ignition to power the fan but not start the engine.

 

30 minutes later she returned as planned.

 

obviously, her battery had died in this period, and equally obviously the cold air that had been running over the boots had failed to dry them.

[Karl_b]

Following on from my last 'decorating the bathroom' post, there was one last job to do, reseal the bath. I didn't think the old stuff was that bad (I re-did it only last year) but she had a real bee in her bonnet about doing it, so I told her she was welcome to crack on (I've done literally everything else in there).

 

I took the dog out this morning and have come back to find she's currently working on it. But it's "tricky" in some places, which I know, and can we turn the water off and remove the taps so she can do behind them. This is despite me pointing out all of this last week and of course, she's now trying to get me to do it. I have explained how it's possible to get the old stuff out and the new stuff in without removing the taps but nah, not having it. I got a classic passive aggressive "fine" until I offer to turn the water off but take no responsibility for water damage if she takes the taps off and water starts pissing through the, recently decorated, kitchen ceiling. So now she's not doing that and is in a mood with me. 

 

1) Why do they constantly make simple jobs more complicated?

2) Why am I then expected to resolve it?

[Curly]

On 18/12/2020 at 12:38, Bellflower said:

Tell me about it.

Ours arrived yesterday, we bought the side opening version.

I opened it without the mattress on it , and it hit SWMBO in the face, 2 black eyes and a bloody nose !

What does “SWMBO” mean?

[Curly]

19 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

 

1) Why do they constantly make simple jobs more complicated?

2) Why am I then expected to resolve it?

Spot on that - constantly get “I’ve started to do this, but got stuck so wanted you to have a look”. Infuriating, especially when the “I got stuck” bit usually means that there is some kind of fix that takes twice as long as doing the initial job takes, or it is done completely wrong up to that point, so need to work out how to go back to the start and go again anyway.

[Trumo]

10 minutes ago, belarus said:

What does “SWMBO” mean?

 

She Who Must Be Obeyed, perhaps.

[Curly]

39 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

She Who Must Be Obeyed, perhaps.

Jesus - that’s a bit mumsnet. 
 

If it wasn’t Christmas I’d be begging that. Winky emoji-esque.

[Dougie Do'ins]

1 hour ago, Karl_b said:

Following on from my last 'decorating the bathroom' post, there was one last job to do, reseal the bath. I didn't think the old stuff was that bad (I re-did it only last year) but she had a real bee in her bonnet about doing it, so I told her she was welcome to crack on (I've done literally everything else in there).

 

I took the dog out this morning and have come back to find she's currently working on it. But it's "tricky" in some places, which I know, and can we turn the water off and remove the taps so she can do behind them. This is despite me pointing out all of this last week and of course, she's now trying to get me to do it. I have explained how it's possible to get the old stuff out and the new stuff in without removing the taps but nah, not having it. I got a classic passive aggressive "fine" until I offer to turn the water off but take no responsibility for water damage if she takes the taps off and water starts pissing through the, recently decorated, kitchen ceiling. So now she's not doing that and is in a mood with me. 

 

1) Why do they constantly make simple jobs more complicated?

2) Why am I then expected to resolve it?

Should have just waited till she was out and whacked a load of HG mould remover on it. She'd have been none the wiser.

[Bjornebye]

We are supposed to have her auntie and uncle and their kids and her mum for Xmas dinner. She’s been on and on and on at me to paint pretty much all of downstairs. I’ve still got some to do despite feeling like utter shit and having to work as well. A few months back she dropped the soap dispenser into the bathroom sink and it’s cracked it. Yesterday she did it again but has made the crack 10 times worse and we can’t use the sink. Gonna have to get a new one after Xmas. The painting I’ve done in the bathroom won’t be noticed now because she wants to put a do not use sign on the sink and people will have to use the kitchen sink or bath to wash their hands. Guess how much she’s kicked off about it? Nothing. “One of them things , it was an accident” stupid twats 

[clockspeed]

Was in Asda saw our local potatoes on sale farm is 6 miles from house landed home to a tirade about how she wanted (exact same potatoes) from local shop (twice the price). Tried to explain same produce down to the packaging not having any of it fuck it time of the year.

[Mook]

17 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

We are supposed to have her auntie and uncle and their kids and her mum for Xmas dinner. She’s been on and on and on at me to paint pretty much all of downstairs. I’ve still got some to do despite feeling like utter shit and having to work as well. A few months back she dropped the soap dispenser into the bathroom sink and it’s cracked it. Yesterday she did it again but has made the crack 10 times worse and we can’t use the sink. Gonna have to get a new one after Xmas. The painting I’ve done in the bathroom won’t be noticed now because she wants to put a do not use sign on the sink and people will have to use the kitchen sink or bath to wash their hands. Guess how much she’s kicked off about it? Nothing. “One of them things , it was an accident” stupid twats 

Are you using an anvil to dispense your soap?

[Bjornebye]

17 minutes ago, Mook said:

Are you using an anvil to dispense your soap?

Haha I know mate, its a ceramic one. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

1 hour ago, clockspeed said:

Was in Asda saw our local potatoes on sale farm is 6 miles from house landed home to a tirade about how she wanted (exact same potatoes) from local shop (twice the price). Tried to explain same produce down to the packaging not having any of it fuck it time of the year.

 

Me trying to read that without any punctuation:

 

[Furmedge]

We've got outdoor bulbed string lights in the garden that go the whole way round and are screwed into all the fences.  Looks boss in the summer to be fair when you're out having a late drink and it's warm.  Had them on last night while I was loading the ale into the shed for Christmas and she said to keep them on as it was nice to look out onto while she was working from the kitchen table.  Fair enough.  She then said we should put them on whenever we can as it makes the garden look lovely, but, and I quote, "it would be nice if we could paint the fence panels grey before Christmas" with a knowing nod in my direction.

 

A swift "fuck off" put paid to that one.