The world of a woman.

[Doctor Troy 10,086]

Fella on my team in work has had his annual "I want this done before christmas" orders put in today. 

 

This year his Mrs has suddenly decided that she wants the front room painted, even though he did it 2 years ago. Every year she seems to pull these ideas out of the sky but none of them ever involve her lifting a finger. 

 

This year he hasn't even got the option of fucking off on boxing day to the footy when she invites all her relatives round. 

[tokyojoe 1,978]

51 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Fella on my team in work has had his annual "I want this done before christmas" orders put in today. 

 

This year his Mrs has suddenly decided that she wants the front room painted, even though he did it 2 years ago. Every year she seems to pull these ideas out of the sky but none of them ever involve her lifting a finger. 

 

This year he hasn't even got the option of fucking off on boxing day to the footy when she invites all her relatives round. 

That's the worst. The 'no escape' syndrome.

[Mudface 3,326]

On 26/11/2020 at 18:02, manwiththestick said:

About six weeks ago I used her house key for our front door and noticed it had bent and looked like it could snap at any point.

 

Me: You might want to get a new key before it breaks.

Her: yeah, will do.

 

A few days later..

 

Me: did you sort you key out?

Her: oh no, not had chance.

 

About two weeks ago..

 

Me: Sorted that key yet?

Her: OMG, it's fine, stop going on!

Me: Fair enough, it will say no more.

 

Working from home today and she's out for a walk with her mum when my phone rings..

 

Her: Can you come let me in?

Me: sure, why?

Her: my key has broken and snapped in the lock.

 

The bit you missed out on was her asking you to sort it out, ages after she knew she needed to get it sorted herself and swore blind she'd get it done, then palmed it off to you on a day when you were really busy and had no chance to do what she suddenly demanded. That's fun.

[Paulie Dangerously 6,604]

She's ordered a new 6 seater table and bed from the internet. 

[tokyojoe 1,978]

44 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

She's ordered a new 6 seater table and bed from the internet. 

Has she checked to see if it will fit in?

[tokyojoe 1,978]

Forgot to add. If it doesn't, it will be your fault.

[Paulie Dangerously 6,604]

4 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

Has she checked to see if it will fit in?

It's one she's "seen" when she's been looking for furniture.  It should fit. Hopefully.

 

*In a few weeks*

 

Mrs D serving my dinner 

[Elite 8,561]

5 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

She's ordered a new 6 seater table and bed from the internet. 

Is that like a sofa bed? 

[Byrnie 1,355]

On 27/11/2020 at 20:30, Doctor Troy said:

Fella on my team in work has had his annual "I want this done before christmas" orders put in today. 

 

This year his Mrs has suddenly decided that she wants the front room painted, even though he did it 2 years ago. Every year she seems to pull these ideas out of the sky but none of them ever involve her lifting a finger. 

 

This year he hasn't even got the option of fucking off on boxing day to the footy when she invites all her relatives round. 

More fool him.

[Doctor Troy 10,086]

23 minutes ago, Byrnie said:

More fool him.

He moans about her all the time. Shes a proper battleaxe and bigger than him as well.

[Bjornebye 24,727]

9 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

She's ordered a new 6 seater table and bed from the internet. 

She'll be ordering you a match sized snooker table for Christmas "yeah thanks love but where are we gonna put it?" "thats not my problem you're the man you work it out" 

[_______________ 2,743]

A week before Xmas they usually pull at a few bits of paper, then you have to strip the wallpaper and put the new stuff up. Of course now the paint needs doing because it would look shabby.
 

That white gloss and the new paper make the curtains look bad now, the paper she picked just doesn’t go with them. So new curtains are purchased. Don’t forget the cushions, and “do you think we need a new three piece suite?” 

Damn if that coffee table just wrecks the whole look now, a new one needs to be purchased along with a side table for the lamp, oh that lamp needs to go and look at that lovely new shade, we will need a matching one for the main light. While you’re at it the laminate needs to be replaced, she quite likes the most expensive one she saw on some daytime tv show she watched. You might escape the need for a new rug, but don’t hold your breath. 

 

Some of this requires trips back and forth to b&q as well as brain numbing wanders around The Range or some other store that sells home cluttering shit stuff that will be destined for landfill in a year.

You’ll be asked for your opinion, but should you put up any criticism you’ll be told “what do you know anyway” 

 

All this while doing 12 hour shifts and overtime to help to pay for all of this and of course the wonderful festive season of joy.
 

Well that would have been the case if I hadn’t told her to fuck that off and get those ripped pieces glued back on pronto. 

 

[Doctor Troy 10,086]

[Creator Supreme 1,038]

November 29th, Christmas Tree up! Not Fucking happy!

[Karl_b 1,429]

We decided to crack on and decorate the bathroom this weekend, something that's been on my list all year. Mrs_b said she'd take the dog out for a couple of hours and run some errands whilst I was painting earlier today. She gets back and shouts up the stairs: "I'm just going to bring the dog up for a quick bath."

 

"No, don't"

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I'm decorating the bathroom you fucking loon, like we agreed and I don't want a muddy wet dog in here whilst there's wet paint"

 

"Well what am I supposed to do?"

 

"Think about it before you let the dog jump in the river?"

[tokyojoe 1,978]

1 hour ago, Creator Supreme said:

November 29th, Christmas Tree up! Not Fucking happy!

Some neighbours have already started decorating their houses outside. Fuck climbing up on a ladder in the freezing cold only to have to get up a ladder in a few weeks, again in the freezing cold to take it all down again.

 

Fuck Christmas.

[Creator Supreme 1,038]

2 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

Some neighbours have already started decorating their houses outside. Fuck climbing up on a ladder in the freezing cold only to have to get up a ladder in a few weeks, again in the freezing cold to take it all down again.

 

Fuck Christmas.

Absolutely! It's shite in a normal year, fuck knows what this years turdfest will be like!

[Doctor Troy 10,086]

3 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

Some neighbours have already started decorating their houses outside. Fuck climbing up on a ladder in the freezing cold only to have to get up a ladder in a few weeks, again in the freezing cold to take it all down again.

 

Fuck Christmas.

There's a street by me where everyone in it has put in together for tons of Christmas lights which are all connected to street lights and stretch across the road. It looks like fucking Fremont street in Las Vegas.

 

Fuck that. I can't even be arsed getting the tree out of the loft.

[tokyojoe 1,978]

And I thought we're all supposed to be saving energy to protect the environment.

[Bjornebye 24,727]

11 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

There's a street by me where everyone in it has put in together for tons of Christmas lights which are all connected to street lights and stretch across the road. It looks like fucking Fremont street in Las Vegas.

 

Fuck that. I can't even be arsed getting the tree out of the loft.

Dovecot? Seen a few videos/pics on instagram of a road down there and it looks great to be fair. 

[Doctor Troy 10,086]

47 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Dovecot? Seen a few videos/pics on instagram of a road down there and it looks great to be fair. 

Yeah off Western Avenue.

 

Looks boss but I couldn't be arsed myself. 

[VladimirIlyich 7,336]

Its still November. Fuck Christmas,until an appropriate time,like a week before.

[sir roger 5,662]

Normally I am a bit grinchy towards Xmas but it's been such a fucked-up year that I am not going to get too down on anybody getting their pleasures wherever they can.

[Mook 17,227]

1 hour ago, sir roger said:

Normally I am a bit grinchy towards Xmas but it's been such a fucked-up year that I am not going to get too down on anybody getting their pleasures wherever they can.

This year has made me hate it even more.

 

Fuck Christmas & fuck all the people who start the shit up weeks in advance.

[Chairman Meow 3,634]

I hate Christmas, but not quite as much as I hate the people who tell me I shouldn't hate Christmas.