The world of a woman.

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

She’s from Wigan, there are no middle class in Wigan. 

The middle classes in Wigan eat their pies with a knife and fork.

[Elite]

9 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

The middle classes in Wigan eat their pies with a knife and fork.

On a barm cake, with mushy peas.

[Davelfc]

[Elite]

2 hours ago, Чемпионы said:

 

[Special K]

She's wondering where the magic money tree is again.

 

She seems to have forgotten the incredibly expensive, practically professional, printer we've bought for her son's A Level photography, the money we've spent on her eldest going back to University, £130 pair of fucking DM's for her daughter to go back to school in. Now she's pissed off because I've said it's going to get a bit tight throughout the rest of the month

[Rico1304]

To be fair, my wife does all the online shopping so this doesn’t reflect well on me, but I’ll go for the excuse she’s on furlough...

 

Apparently you secure a food delivery by having over £40 worth of shopping in your basket. You’re  able to change the order a day or so before it’s due.  My wife has been securing the delivery by putting a bottle of champagne in the basket and then amending it.  We’ve just been delivered a single bottle of champagne at 9:13 on a Sunday.  

[Creator Supreme]

8 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

To be fair, my wife does all the online shopping so this doesn’t reflect well on me, but I’ll go for the excuse she’s on furlough...

 

Apparently you secure a food delivery by having over £40 worth of shopping in your basket. You’re  able to change the order a day or so before it’s due.  My wife has been securing the delivery by putting a bottle of champagne in the basket and then amending it.  We’ve just been delivered a single bottle of champagne at 9:13 on a Sunday.  

Sorry mate but that's fantastic!

[Josef Svejk]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

To be fair, my wife does all the online shopping so this doesn’t reflect well on me, but I’ll go for the excuse she’s on furlough...

 

Apparently you secure a food delivery by having over £40 worth of shopping in your basket. You’re  able to change the order a day or so before it’s due.  My wife has been securing the delivery by putting a bottle of champagne in the basket and then amending it.  We’ve just been delivered a single bottle of champagne at 9:13 on a Sunday.  

Posh bastard.

[Rico1304]

7 minutes ago, Josef Svejk said:

Posh bastard.

I think the delivery man will be staging an intervention.  

[Dougie Do'ins]

Just putting this in here because it needs to go somewhere.

 

 

 

 

[Remmie]

7 hours ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

Just putting this in here because it needs to go somewhere.

 

 

 

 

That's quite obviously a joke, not the best I've ever heard but not sure why it's in this thread 

[Bjornebye]

I haven't clicked on it and don't know what she has to say but is she sucking dick?

 

 

 

 

[Remmie]

Possibly the pool boys, yeah

[tokyojoe]

She's been rearranging the contents of the kitchen cupboards again.

 

Last night:

 

Me: where's the plastic container with the cat litter in it?

 

Her: in the cabinet with the lemon juice.

 

 

I give up.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

1 hour ago, tokyojoe said:

She's been rearranging the contents of the kitchen cupboards again.

 

Last night:

 

Me: where's the plastic container with the cat litter in it?

 

Her: in the cabinet with the lemon juice.

 

 

I give up.

She found a replacement for your Whisky Sour last time she ran out of lemon juice, so it makes sense now.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Fucking hell. 

 

MrsD and I rarely text during the day when we're both in school as we're both chocker and don't get much of chance to check our phones. 

 

So when I saw a few missed calls and a text telling me to call her when I could I panicked a bit. I've got a dad recovering from cancer, two Nans in their 90s in ill health and a child who's no stranger to a bumped head form in school. 

 

All the nightmare scenarios going through my head as the phone rang, waiting for her to pick up. 

 

She'd been stang off a wasp on her foot. 

 

 

[Remmie]

[deiseach]

My mother-in-law is a chain-smoking alcoholic who has recently decided, for health reasons, not to eat anything that was in a microwave.

[Pete]

28 minutes ago, deiseach said:

My mother-in-law is a chain-smoking alcoholic who has recently decided, for health reasons, not to eat anything that was in a microwave.

Put her fags & booze in there. See how she copes.

 

[Harry Squatter]

Woman on my Facebook got pissed off that her son has been told off repeatedly in his first week. Apparently he is a moody little fucker and has been told his behaviour is like Jekyll and Hyde.

 

This woman doesn't seem to know what that means as she posted "pissed off that our Regan has been told his behaviour is erratic by school and like Jacqueline Ide"

 

 

[littletedwest]

On 08/09/2020 at 18:55, Paulie Dangerously said:

Fucking hell. 

 

MrsD and I rarely text during the day when we're both in school as we're both chocker and don't get much of chance to check our phones. 

 

So when I saw a few missed calls and a text telling me to call her when I could I panicked a bit. I've got a dad recovering from cancer, two Nans in their 90s in ill health and a child who's no stranger to a bumped head form in school. 

 

All the nightmare scenarios going through my head as the phone rang, waiting for her to pick up. 

 

She'd been stang off a wasp on her foot. 

 

 

Put this in before but anyway.  Worked in retail so told her if she rings and I don't answer I'm busy, same if she rings again same thing, if she rings a 3rd time I'll know it's urgent.

With a customer phone rings, silence it. Rings again silence again. Rings a 3rd time apologise to my customer but explain its serious

"Can you bring a pen home?"

It was a bloke I was serving so he felt my pain

[Pete]

Watching TV last night, She falls asleep with 20 minutes to go. Luckily it's also on record from the previous week, so she can catch up this weekend. 

Get's to 10PM, I lean over and ask her if she's staying on the sofa or coming to bed as if she's staying on the sofa I'll get her a blanket. She mumbles 'bed, tired'.  She makes her way upstairs to the bathroom to do all the stuff women seem to do whilst I check all doors are locked etc downstairs.

Make my way upstairs, into the bathroom, have a piss, clean teeth etc. I get into bed next to her and she says ' I'm waking up now, why did you wake me?'

 

[Harry Squatter]

 

 

 

[easytoslip]

In my local yesterday waiting for the game to start, she sent me a text asking why Liverpool are 11th in the league, fucksake. 

[Curly]

On 05/09/2020 at 10:06, Special K said:

She's wondering where the magic money tree is again.

 

She seems to have forgotten the incredibly expensive, practically professional, printer we've bought for her son's A Level photography, the money we've spent on her eldest going back to University, £130 pair of fucking DM's for her daughter to go back to school in. Now she's pissed off because I've said it's going to get a bit tight throughout the rest of the month

You selfish, selfish cunt.

 

You deserve to be Trevor Jordache’d