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Ezekiel 25:17

The world of a woman.

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14 hours ago, Mudface said:

I had to stop wanking about George once I realised he was gay. Fucking disgusting.

Yeah know what you mean, I was doing a bit of rimming when the recipient done one of those little puff farts, the dirty cunt. 

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17 hours ago, General Dryness said:

He just hid it really well.

 

 

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The pink fingerless gloves on Top Of The Pops as well.

 

I was about 5 at the time & can remember saying to my Dad, "He's a shirt lifting cunt him.".

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14 minutes ago, Mook said:

The pink fingerless gloves on Top Of The Pops as well.

 

I was about 5 at the time & can remember saying to my Dad, "He's a shirt lifting cunt him.".

To which your Dad replied "Aye son, d'ya want another can while I'm up?" 

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5 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:


You think that’s bad, you need to get down to the postbox before the Royal Mail van turns up to empty it. 

 

At least someone will be carrying a sackful.

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On 02/05/2020 at 16:05, easytoslip said:

The mate just sent me a picture of his hair cut his missus done, he looks like Henry V. 

Sorry not with you there

Still better than how some of his wives had theirs cut.

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Just now, Paulie Dangerously said:

Asked her to get some peanut butter for the mouse traps. She came back with this because "they're more likely to go for the expensive stuff"

 

Snooty fucking mice in mine. 

 

 

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Brilliant! Your missus is a star of this forum.

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16 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Still better than how some of his wives had theirs cut.

Haha, wish I could post a picture as its really bad, he looks like something off the Bayeux Tapestry, minus tights and them pointy shoe things they wore. 

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3 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Asked her to get some peanut butter for the mouse traps. She came back with this because "they're more likely to go for the expensive stuff"

 

Snooty fucking mice in mine. 

 

 

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I genuinely love your missus. I talk to my missus about her. 

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On 01/05/2020 at 16:50, General Dryness said:

That's the thing mate, back in the 80s nobody did.

This is true. Me and my friends all say now ‘how did we not know??’ 
But we just didn’t think about it then. 

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On 31/03/2020 at 23:05, davelfc* said:

For any of those chaps that find themselves being given a long list of jobs around the house I have this...

 

It's anecdotal of course but some years ago I was going out with a girl that worked on a&e reception. After she had ensured me that she had never ever checked in a schoolboy with a pan stuck on his head, she did tell me that one of their busiest times was the bank holiday. Mainly injuries from DIY jobs.

 

Now under normal circumstances this is fine, I gashed my hand open a few months ago on a ceramic sink of all things. A bit of cleansing in the deep cut and some glue was all that was needed. But of course even on a School day at a quiet time it took ages waiting to be treated. So long they had to tear the wound open to clean it. 

 

During a pandemic and with hospitals being overloaded as it is, I'd imagine the last thing they need are people turning up after having injured themselves doing a bit of DIY. Plus do you want to be there at a hospital during a pandemic, really?

 

Tell the Mrs you're doing your bit, that you are thinking of those brave Doctors and Nurses and not loading the hospitals with unnecessary work by sitting on your arse and watching a bit of Netflix. I've already lectured my daughter on this and expect after this is all over to receive a few tins of beer from the future son in law in gratitude. 

Sorry Dave, but “tins of beer”, is yer mate from Cronton? Does he drink pop and ask to go in nets? Beer comes in cans or bottles, fuck him off.

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On 31/03/2020 at 23:05, Sugar Ape said:

She’s driving me mad at the moment. She can’t relax and sit down for a minute, she brushes the floor and mops about ten times a day and just generally follows me around getting on my nerves. 
 

I had a glass of juice yesterday, drank half then put it down while I went for a wee. Came back 30 seconds later and she’d emptied it down the sink, washed the cup and put it away in the cupboard. 
 

Or the other morning I went for a shower and got a clean pair of shorts out of my drawer to put on afterwards and took them in the bathroom with me. Get out the shower and she’d somehow snuck in like a fucking ninja and took my shorts which were already in the washing machine. 

Me nana best mate and me step ma both have this. Desire to fuck everything off out the way, and make sure the place is spotless.

step ma used to constantly hide my books when we stayed with them for 3 months, oh you and yer books - just because I left one on the fucking table.

me nan’s best buddy, we were having a few beers as we were home from Aus for a few weeks, everyone having a few beers and laugh in the kitchen, I was half pissed and making a cheese butty and having a blether, twice I got bread out, buttered it, and by the time I had got back from the fridge - she’s lashed the fucking bread in the bin.

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On 02/04/2020 at 15:34, Jose Jones said:

The missus went out to the shop on a supply run earlier. “Get some biscuits” said I as she was heading out the door.

This is what she came back with:

 

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Good quality biscuits them JJ, see the released the recipe?

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On 03/04/2020 at 12:27, Sugar Ape said:

Just looking back through some old photos and found this classic one of some cheese on toast she made me. Of course, she then got a cob on and said I was selfish for complaining about it. How I haven’t divorced her I don’t know. 
 

 

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Did yer not hear the rattle of the ladders as the window cleaner scarpered from the back door?

On 02/04/2020 at 16:18, General Dryness said:

You've been Scotch Fingered.

 

On 02/04/2020 at 16:20, Lee909 said:

They look awful

 

On 02/04/2020 at 16:27, General Dryness said:

They're not great, like.

full.jpg

 

On 02/04/2020 at 16:29, Jose Jones said:

Exactly, who would look at the whole biscuit aisle and come back with those rotters?

 

On 03/04/2020 at 10:38, Tony Moanero said:

Never had those ones but Arnott’s biscuits are usually sound. Tim Tam, Monte Carlo and Mint Slice (like Viscount) are boss.

 

On 03/04/2020 at 11:13, Jose Jones said:

A world of delicious choice Tone, and she came back with the Scotch Fingers...

Seriously lads they’re a decent biscuit, have to say JJ is giving it some la di dah here, probably only eats Pete Evans’ mashed nut Vovos.

These are not overly sweet, excellent dunker, and you can eat a pack in one sitting. They have a good strong crust. I’d rate them a point or 2 below a digestive.

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