The world of a woman.

[Lee909]

They look awful

[General Dryness]

6 minutes ago, Lee909 said:

They look awful

They're not great, like.

[Jose Jones]

8 minutes ago, Lee909 said:

They look awful

Exactly, who would look at the whole biscuit aisle and come back with those rotters?

[Strontium]

Did Captain Cook bring those over on Endeavour?

[VladimirIlyich]

52 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

Did Captain Cook bring those over on Endeavour?

Yes,and he left them on it with rat poison attached. Needless to say that the rats wouldn't touch them.

[Special K]

I pretty sure my wife's just called into This Morning putting 3 different voices on

 

The phone in was "Am I being Unreasonable?"

 

1st caller - I'm upset because my husband can leave the house but I can't
2nd caller - I'm upset my husband won't do any jobs around the house
3rd caller - I want my husband to sleep in the spare room

[Chip Butty]

Her: People have been furlonged in work today

Me: What do you mean, furlonged?

Her: This is what they call it when you get laid off, but you don't get laid off

Me: Have you spoke to people today about people being Furlonged?

Her: Yes

Me: What did they say when you said people had been furlonged, did they say much, look funny at you?

Her: Yes, how do you know, no one really wants to talk about it, everyone must be upset

Me: Yep, that'll be it, dead upset. What do you fancy for tea, horse? 

Her: What?

Me: nothing

 

 

 

 

[Tony Moanero]

18 hours ago, General Dryness said:

They're not great, like.

Never had those ones but Arnott’s biscuits are usually sound. Tim Tam, Monte Carlo and Mint Slice (like Viscount) are boss.

[TheBitch]

Got this dive map on the wall showing all the best sites. It’s not conventional but clearly a map of the world. 

 

I said to her that when this is all over we should throw a dart at it and go wherever it lands. 

 

“What part of the world is that?”

 

”It’s the whole world”

 

*baffled look*

 

”Really? The whole world?”

 

*sigh*

 

”Really”

 

 

[Jose Jones]

34 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Never had those ones but Arnott’s biscuits are usually sound. Tim Tam, Monte Carlo and Mint Slice (like Viscount) are boss.

A world of delicious choice Tone, and she came back with the Scotch Fingers...

[Sugar Ape]

Just looking back through some old photos and found this classic one of some cheese on toast she made me. Of course, she then got a cob on and said I was selfish for complaining about it. How I haven’t divorced her I don’t know. 
 

 

[Sugar Ape]

To this day I honestly cannot understand how she could put so little cheese on it and think it looked ok. 

[Lee909]

12 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

Just looking back through some old photos and found this classic one of some cheese on toast she made me. Of course, she then got a cob on and said I was selfish for complaining about it. How I haven’t divorced her I don’t know. 
 

 

You sure you were not playing games with rugby union types 

[Sugar Ape]

6 minutes ago, Lee909 said:

You sure you were not playing games with rugby union types 

You know your own tricks best.

[General Dryness]

4 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Never had those ones but Arnott’s biscuits are usually sound. Tim Tam, Monte Carlo and Mint Slice (like Viscount) are boss.

They also have a "shite" range, which come in those white wrappers.

[Rico1304]

4 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Got this dive map on the wall showing all the best sites. It’s not conventional but clearly a map of the world. 

 

I said to her that when this is all over we should throw a dart at it and go wherever it lands. 

 

“What part of the world is that?”

 

”It’s the whole world”

 

*baffled look*

 

”Really? The whole world?”

 

*sigh*

 

”Really”

 

 

If she throws the dart you might end up with 2 weeks behind the sofa.  
 

im here all week, don’t have the beef. 

[suzy]

6 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Got this dive map on the wall showing all the best sites. It’s not conventional but clearly a map of the world. 

 

I said to her that when this is all over we should throw a dart at it and go wherever it lands. 

 

“What part of the world is that?”

 

”It’s the whole world”

 

*baffled look*

 

”Really? The whole world?”

 

*sigh*

 

”Really”

 

 

Unbelievable!! 

[Remmie]

10 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Got this dive map on the wall showing all the best sites. It’s not conventional but clearly a map of the world. 

 

I said to her that when this is all over we should throw a dart at it and go wherever it lands. 

 

“What part of the world is that?”

 

”It’s the whole world”

 

*baffled look*

 

”Really? The whole world?”

 

*sigh*

 

”Really”

 

 

I did the dart thing and got Papua New Guinea but still haven't been. A combination of expense and impracticality with the wife and kids means I'll probably never do it. Gutted because it's exactly the sort of wilderness that we know fuck all about and would be amazing.

 

Go for me...

[TheBitch]

18 minutes ago, Remmie said:

I did the dart thing and got Papua New Guinea but still haven't been. A combination of expense and impracticality with the wife and kids means I'll probably never do it. Gutted because it's exactly the sort of wilderness that we know fuck all about and would be amazing.

 

Go for me...

I was supposed to go there on the trip I should be on now.

 

*cries*

[sir roger]

9 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

Just looking back through some old photos and found this classic one of some cheese on toast she made me. Of course, she then got a cob on and said I was selfish for complaining about it. How I haven’t divorced her I don’t know. 
 

 

Looks like it has been left on a table at the back of a bukkake party.

[mattyq]

13 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

Just looking back through some old photos and found this classic one of some cheese on toast she made me. Of course, she then got a cob on and said I was selfish for complaining about it. How I haven’t divorced her I don’t know. 
 

 

She obviously hates you

[Bjornebye]

40 minutes ago, mattyq said:

She obviously hates you

Yeah but not that much surely. 

[Anubis]

14 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

Just looking back through some old photos and found this classic one of some cheese on toast she made me. Of course, she then got a cob on and said I was selfish for complaining about it. How I haven’t divorced her I don’t know. 
 

 

Looks more like you got overexcited at seeing a piece of toast....

[Sugar Ape]

1 hour ago, mattyq said:

She obviously hates you

Fair enough but I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Actually, I would to be fair. @JohnnyH I hope you get some shit cheese on toast. 
 

33 minutes ago, Anubis said:

Looks more like you got overexcited at seeing a piece of toast....

Well it was a sexy piece of toast. 

[JohnnyH]

15 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

Fair enough but I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Actually, I would to be fair. @JohnnyH I hope you get some shit cheese on toast. 
 

Well it was a sexy piece of toast. 

I’ve never had an enemy before. I don’t know how to react.