The world of a woman.

[Doctor Troy 10,680]

 

Women when you want to watch the footy or go asleep.

[Remmie 5,801]

2 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

 

Women when you want to watch the footy or go asleep.

Amen. She could have been flicking off to Trisha for the past 3 hours but the second I'm going to bed- can you just do this seemingly brief task

[lifetime fan 10,942]

Don’t ever move offices with 5 women and just yourself for fucks sake. 
 

3 of them have cried. 
2 reckon they have coronavirus 

1 has done fuck all

5 have pissed me off 

 

And we now have the fridge on the opposite side of the room to the kettle! 

[tokyojoe 2,108]

Her Indoors seems to be convinced that if she watches wall to wall news coverage, 24 hours per day of this coca cola virus or whatever the fuck it's called she'll be immune.

[alles ist gut 3,962]

59 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

And we now have the fridge on the opposite side of the room to the kettle! 

Daily step count goes up by a factor of 10

[Ezekiel 25:17 3,333]

Old school shout for the thick girl in work, 'I wish I was in Jail, least I couldn't catch it then'.

[Special K 896]

Just had a massive fucking argument with her because I told her I wasn't going to call the bank at 9.30 on a Sunday morning to discuss mortgage holidays.

 

We run a business together and I'm already going to be the one to email customers to advise them of our plans after our lockdown. It's going to be a nightmare and yet she's happy to pass everything to me as she's certain she's dying.....

 

Life is fucking shite at the moment.

[Bjornebye 26,559]

Just now, Special K said:

Just had a massive argument fucking argument with her because I told her I wasn't going to call the bank at 9.30 on a Sunday morning to discuss mortgage holidays.

 

We run a business together and I'm already going to be the one to email customers to advise them of our plans after our lockdown. It's going to be a nightmare and yet she's happy to pass everything to me as she's certain she's dying.....

 

Life is fucking shite at the moment.

Most banks are doing it online with just a quick form to fill out now I think mate?

[Special K 896]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Most banks are doing it online with just a quick form to fill out now I think mate?

I phoned up the other day and they told me nothing has been arranged yet. Might be Wednesday before they can press the button on them (as it were)

 

It's just that I'm responsible for fucking everything. A little weight off my shoulders would be nice

[Bjornebye 26,559]

2 minutes ago, Special K said:

I phoned up the other day and they told me nothing has been arranged yet. Might be Wednesday before they can press the button on them (as it were)

 

It's just that I'm responsible for fucking everything. A little weight off my shoulders would be nice

Only what I’d heard mate. Good luck 

[Special K 896]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Only what I’d heard mate. Good luck 

Cheers mate

[Poster 2,914]

My daughter is evil because she won't allow the grandkids to visit their elderly (over 70) and at risk grandmother today. Granddaughter (6) has a persistent cough and grandson (<2) was in hospital last week with a bad ear infection. 

 

 

[Ne Moe Imya 3,275]

We are in the process of buying a house, closing in 2 weeks (I know, terrible timing!).

 

So we've been talking about the idea of just making minor changes and then saving up to do a big kitchen remodel down the line a few years. Rip out some cabinets, put in an island, open up the floorplan, etc.

 

Yesterday she finds a used kitchen island, roughly the size that we're hoping to build, online from someone who's redoing their kitchen and wants to sell the whole thing. It's $1000, roughly 100 miles away and has a granite countertop that we have absolutely no way of transporting home.

 

And yet she's upset with me for not going to get it. It doesn't matter how much I've tried to explain that it will take at least 4 men to lift the countertop, which probably weighs 300 kg. Plus a trailer of some sort, or at the very least two trips with a large pickup truck (which we don't own). Nor do we have anywhere to store it - remember, we won't be closing on the house for 2 more weeks!

 

None of that matters. I'M the bad guy for not trying to convince 3 friends to come out of quarantine in the middle of a pandemic, borrow a truck from someone (no idea who) and then travel 2 hours to load this thing up and then bring it back to sit in our garden??! It's utterly insane.

 

[sir roger 6,319]

Once you accept that everything is your fault, life becomes easier,

[Poster 2,914]

26 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Once you accept that everything is your fault, life becomes easier,

The secret to a happy marriage.

[Geoff Woade 644]

We were watching the new Doctor Dolittle yesterday and at one part she goes ‘I never knew polar bears could breathe underwater’. I went ‘what are you on about’

 

She started to answer and then trailed off as I stared in amazement. She was starting to say ‘well that polar bear was talking underwater’

[Doctor Troy 10,680]

On 22/03/2020 at 09:58, Special K said:

Just had a massive fucking argument with her because I told her I wasn't going to call the bank at 9.30 on a Sunday morning to discuss mortgage holidays.

 

We run a business together and I'm already going to be the one to email customers to advise them of our plans after our lockdown. It's going to be a nightmare and yet she's happy to pass everything to me as she's certain she's dying.....

 

Life is fucking shite at the moment.

Wives are good "project managers". They come up with loads of ideas for you to implement and always tell you where you are going wrong, offering solutions how to correct mistakes after they have been made. This is obviously while they sit back and observe you doing all the work.

[Champ 4,852]

22 hours ago, davelfc said:

My daughter is evil because she won't allow the grandkids to visit their elderly (over 70) and at risk grandmother today. Granddaughter (6) has a persistent cough and grandson (<2) was in hospital last week with a bad ear infection. 

 

 

Says who? She’s showing her love by Not going.

 

This is the trouble with ‘advice’; some people don’t seem to have the brains to work it out and need to be given instructions. Those pictures of family get togethers beggars belief 

[Poster 2,914]

17 minutes ago, Champ said:

Says who? She’s showing her love by Not going.

 

This is the trouble with ‘advice’; some people don’t seem to have the brains to work it out and need to be given instructions. Those pictures of family get togethers beggars belief 

Yeah, you can't help some people. 

[lifetime fan 10,942]

The woman who refuses to buy anything other than fairy washing up liquid as it’s a false economy has bought 54 rolls of bog paper for £4. 

[Special K 896]

She's starting to climb the walls about self isolation. We haven't left the house for about a week and a half and she's trying to "find things to do". I.e. things for me to do. Fuck that. I'm happy playing on my PS4. I've played more video games in the last 3 days than I have in the last 2 years.

 

Why can't some women have hobbies?

[Doctor Troy 10,680]

2 minutes ago, Special K said:

She's starting to climb the walls about self isolation. We haven't left the house for about a week and a half and she's trying to "find things to do". I.e. things for me to do. Fuck that. I'm happy playing on my PS4. I've played more video games in the last 3 days than I have in the last 2 years.

 

Why can't some women have hobbies?

They have a hobby. Finding things for men to do, and moaning that nothing gets done.

 

Married women wish they had a movement chip to insert into you like universal soldier. Once you stop moving or sit down and have a cup of tea or a bevie the chip will start flashing so they can find something else for you to do or come in and unsettle you.

 

My mate lived with some girl who could never ever let him relax. Even when he was having dinner she would eat hers first then start washing up while he was still eating. If he took longer than 5 minutes she would be sighing and walking round shaking her head.

[Dougie Do'ins 9,691]

7 minutes ago, Special K said:

Why can't some women have hobbies?

Like collecting footwear,  cosmetics and clothes ?

[Bjornebye 26,559]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

They have a hobby. Finding things for men to do, and moaning that nothing gets done.

 

Married women wish they had a movement chip to insert into you like universal soldier. Once you stop moving or sit down and have a cup of tea or a bevie the chip will start flashing so they can find something else for you to do or come in and unsettle you.

 

My mate lived with some girl who could never ever let him relax. Even when he was having dinner she would eat hers first then start washing up while he was still eating. If he took longer than 5 minutes she would be sighing and walking round shaking her head.

Bastards 

[Trumo 14,348]

15 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

The woman who refuses to buy anything other than fairy washing up liquid as it’s a false economy has bought 54 rolls of bog paper for £4. 

 

Soft hands, sore arse.

 

And as for her...