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Ezekiel 25:17

The world of a woman.

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Love my missus dearly, however, having moved around 10 times over the last 12 years including one cross continent and 3 interstate, for which she has mainly been out the way and in work for - she is feeling the pressure now, I’m incapacitated and have been warned direction only.

things are getting a little frayed.

we have movers doing the heavy stuff, but when I’m suggesting it’s important what boxes go where for unpacking purposes, she is getting a bit sharp. She also seems to want to block all of the work surfaces with shite, which I the have to move. 
she sent me around the new place before to see the smoke detector gadgee, and when I opened up she had left one of the hobs on, I reckon she is trying to bump me off.

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5 hours ago, arthur friedenreich said:

Love my missus dearly, however, having moved around 10 times over the last 12 years including one cross continent and 3 interstate, for which she has mainly been out the way and in work for - she is feeling the pressure now, I’m incapacitated and have been warned direction only.

things are getting a little frayed.

we have movers doing the heavy stuff, but when I’m suggesting it’s important what boxes go where for unpacking purposes, she is getting a bit sharp. She also seems to want to block all of the work surfaces with shite, which I the have to move. 
she sent me around the new place before to see the smoke detector gadgee, and when I opened up she had left one of the hobs on, I reckon she is trying to bump me off.

You might want to consider going Interstellar mate. 

 

Seriously what is up with them they are amazing when you meet them then as soon as you feel happy in the relationship they bring out the swords. Bastards. 

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2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

You might want to consider going Interstellar mate. 

 

Seriously what is up with them they are amazing when you meet them then as soon as you feel happy in the relationship they bring out the swords. Bastards. 

 

They are incapable of being happy and want us to suffer with them.

 

Snakes with tits.

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3 minutes ago, ZonkoVille77 said:

 

They are incapable of being happy and want us to suffer with them.

 

Snakes with tits.

Agreed. Fancy a shag? 

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9 hours ago, Anubis said:

 

 

 

There was a few funny replies to that tweet. I was chuckling away to myself until I got down to the bit where she said Freddos now cost 35p. Now I’m raging. 35p. That’s a fucking disgrace. Seems like every year they go up in price. 

 

35p. 

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15 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

There was a few funny replies to that tweet. I was chuckling away to myself until I got down to the bit where she said Freddos now cost 35p. Now I’m raging. 35p. That’s a fucking disgrace. Seems like every year they go up in price. 

 

35p. 

If they are cadburys the chocolate is shite too.

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1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

There was a few funny replies to that tweet. I was chuckling away to myself until I got down to the bit where she said Freddos now cost 35p. Now I’m raging. 35p. That’s a fucking disgrace. Seems like every year they go up in price. 

 

35p. 

70p for a threeway. Fucking scandal.

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Me Mam called me this evening to remind me to wish my uncle happy birthday on Tuesday as it’s his 60th. 
 

Mum: You need to text Shaun on Tuesday as it’s his 60th. 
Me: I’ll pop in and have a beer with him. 
Mum: You can’t he’s in America. Jan has taken him away and they’re touring the west coast. She’s hired a beautiful portable car for him. 
Me: What? What car isn’t portable? 
Mum: You should see the photos Col, it’s lovely. It’s a bright red, very fast, portable car. 
Me: Mum, every car is bloody portable, what the fuck are you talking about? 
Mum: There’s no need to swear, it’s one of those lovely portable cars with a fold down roof. 
Me: You mean a convertible! 

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4 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Me Mam called me this evening to remind me to wish my uncle happy birthday on Tuesday as it’s his 60th. 
 

Mum: You need to text Shaun on Tuesday as it’s his 60th. 
Me: I’ll pop in and have a beer with him. 
Mum: You can’t he’s in America. Jan has taken him away and they’re touring the west coast. She’s hired a beautiful portable car for him. 
Me: What? What car isn’t portable? 
Mum: You should see the photos Col, it’s lovely. It’s a bright red, very fast, portable car. 
Me: Mum, every car is bloody portable, what the fuck are you talking about? 
Mum: There’s no need to swear, it’s one of those lovely portable cars with a fold down roof. 
Me: You mean a convertible! 

Hahahaha

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11 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Me Mam called me this evening to remind me to wish my uncle happy birthday on Tuesday as it’s his 60th. 
 

Mum: You need to text Shaun on Tuesday as it’s his 60th. 
Me: I’ll pop in and have a beer with him. 
Mum: You can’t he’s in America. Jan has taken him away and they’re touring the west coast. She’s hired a beautiful portable car for him. 
Me: What? What car isn’t portable? 
Mum: You should see the photos Col, it’s lovely. It’s a bright red, very fast, portable car. 
Me: Mum, every car is bloody portable, what the fuck are you talking about? 
Mum: There’s no need to swear, it’s one of those lovely portable cars with a fold down roof. 
Me: You mean a convertible! 

Were you speaking on your convertible phone?

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This is the woman who years ago went into HMV and asked for a skittles CD for my brother. 
 

The kid working there looked at her blankly and didn’t have a clue what she was going on about. 
 

She told him she wanted a CD by a rapper who had the same name as the sweets. 
 

The kid just laughed at her and told her she wanted the Eminem CD. 

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Just back from a bit of a camping trip. Stayed on one site and I was moaning to the mrs

 

"fucking hell theres that many rules its like a fucking concentration camp! I should have known when the sign over the gate said work sets you free" 

 

She looks at me all perplexed "what work do they expect us to do?"

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Just a general question but why is that so many women bust their balls to lose a load of weight for their wedding only to put it all back on again in no time? 

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A lot of women have had it drummed into their heads that their wedding day is the be-all and end-all, so they buy into all that fairytale shit and pay too much heed to what other people might think, failing to realise that there is an actual marriage attached to it.

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32 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

This is the woman who years ago went into HMV and asked for a skittles CD for my brother. 
 

The kid working there looked at her blankly and didn’t have a clue what she was going on about. 
 

She told him she wanted a CD by a rapper who had the same name as the sweets. 
 

The kid just laughed at her and told her she wanted the Eminem CD. 


Pretty sure that story would feature in here...

 

 

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46 minutes ago, DimReaper said:

Just a general question but why is that so many women bust their balls to lose a load of weight for their wedding only to put it all back on again in no time? 

It's one day where literally everyone will be looking at them in several points throughout the day, and they will be immortalised in thousands of photos. I agree in the big picture shouldn't matter but I can see why they want to look as good as they can.

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10 hours ago, rotoq said:

It's one day where literally everyone will be looking at them in several points throughout the day, and they will be immortalised in thousands of photos. I agree in the big picture shouldn't matter but I can see why they want to look as good as they can.

it's our 12th wedding anniversary today, we still haven't got around to putting the pictures in the photo album. Cost us a good few fucking quid as well, red suede job, we do have a few pictures dotted around the house, as it was a boss day out. running with the European Cup around Anfield, everyone was made up. 

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Mrs. Stouffer thought banal was pronounced with the emphasis on anal (b-anal).

 

She's way more intelligent than I am but sometimes I just shake my head.

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4 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

Mrs. Stouffer thought banal was pronounced with the emphasis on anal (b-anal).

 

She's way more intelligent than I am but sometimes I just shake my head.

Subliminal messaging mate. Get the lube out and get them balls swinging. 

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