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Ezekiel 25:17

The world of a woman.

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When I met Mrs Turdseye she had a shit tattoo on her wrist to try and cover another shit tattoo that she’d had there of her ex’s name. Over the years she’s wasted fucking loads of money on laser removal which didn’t work before eventually getting a less shit tattoo to cover it up completely. I’ve mocked her often and mercilessly about how ridiculous it is to get someone’s name tattooed on you. If it’s your kid, it’s understandable. Otherwise it’s obviously a stupid thing to do. She should know that better than anyone. 

 

She’s got a new mate and the boyfriend of said mate is a tattoo artist apparently. Well you know where I’m going with this...

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1 hour ago, Mook said:

My boss is complaining about the boy playing bagpipes outside our office this morning...

 

"The pipes are quieter than they were yesterday, does this mean that all bagpipes aren't the same?"

 

For a start, the windows were open yesterday & are currently closed. Also, are all guitars, saxophones or drum kits the same? No, so why would all bagpipes be the same you fucking moron. Only two more days left of listening to this pish.

Get an audio recorder on yer phone and stick it on record for yer last 2 days. We need to hear the full majesty of her glorious idiocy in audio at least once.

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12 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

When I met Mrs Turdseye she had a shit tattoo on her wrist to try and cover another shit tattoo that she’d had there of her ex’s name. Over the years she’s wasted fucking loads of money on laser removal which didn’t work before eventually getting a less shit tattoo to cover it up completely. I’ve mocked her often and mercilessly about how ridiculous it is to get someone’s name tattooed on you. If it’s your kid, it’s understandable. Otherwise it’s obviously a stupid thing to do. She should know that better than anyone. 

 

She’s got a new mate and the boyfriend of said mate is a tattoo artist apparently. Well you know where I’m going with this...

Your Turdseye avatar tattooed on her arse?

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51 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

When I met Mrs Turdseye she had a shit tattoo on her wrist to try and cover another shit tattoo that she’d had there of her ex’s name. Over the years she’s wasted fucking loads of money on laser removal which didn’t work before eventually getting a less shit tattoo to cover it up completely. I’ve mocked her often and mercilessly about how ridiculous it is to get someone’s name tattooed on you. If it’s your kid, it’s understandable. Otherwise it’s obviously a stupid thing to do. She should know that better than anyone. 

 

She’s got a new mate and the boyfriend of said mate is a tattoo artist apparently. Well you know where I’m going with this...

 

Tell him to tattoo your face onto her face. That'll learn her.

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1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

When I met Mrs Turdseye she had a shit tattoo on her wrist to try and cover another shit tattoo that she’d had there of her ex’s name. Over the years she’s wasted fucking loads of money on laser removal which didn’t work before eventually getting a less shit tattoo to cover it up completely. I’ve mocked her often and mercilessly about how ridiculous it is to get someone’s name tattooed on you. If it’s your kid, it’s understandable. Otherwise it’s obviously a stupid thing to do. She should know that better than anyone. 

 

She’s got a new mate and the boyfriend of said mate is a tattoo artist apparently. Well you know where I’m going with this...

You're getting her name tattooed on your wrist aren't you?

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3 hours ago, Mook said:

My boss is complaining about the boy playing bagpipes outside our office this morning...

 

"The pipes are quieter than they were yesterday, does this mean that all bagpipes aren't the same?"

 

For a start, the windows were open yesterday & are currently closed. Also, are all guitars, saxophones or drum kits the same? No, so why would all bagpipes be the same you fucking moron. Only two more days left of listening to this pish.

Essentially, they are all the same. Sources of aural misery.

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21 minutes ago, Josef Svejk said:

Essentially, they are all the same. Sources of aural misery.

You don't have to tell me that, I have to listen to this cunt going through Scotland the Brave, Amazing Grace & Flower of Scotland on repeat for 3hrs every day & I absolutely detest the sound of bagpipes.

 

The piper is currently rivalling my boss as a good reason to get out of this place.

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1 hour ago, Mook said:

You don't have to tell me that, I have to listen to this cunt going through Scotland the Brave, Amazing Grace & Flower of Scotland on repeat for 3hrs every day & I absolutely detest the sound of bagpipes.

 

The piper is currently rivalling my boss as a good reason to get out of this place.

 

The Death Of Forbes McAllister

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She’s got a mate staying for the weekend. This girl is like something out of TOWIE. Loud, annoying and thick as fuck. I lasted ten minutes before escaping upstairs to the bedroom. Now I know how Tokyo Joe felt when he got banished upstairs over Christmas. 

 

Thankfully they’re gonna be out most of the day tomorrow but I’m already counting down the minutes until Sunday. 

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1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

She’s got a mate staying for the weekend. This girl is like something out of TOWIE. Loud, annoying and thick as fuck. I lasted ten minutes before escaping upstairs to the bedroom. Now I know how Tokyo Joe felt when he got banished upstairs over Christmas. 

 

Thankfully they’re gonna be out most of the day tomorrow but I’m already counting down the minutes until Sunday. 

Three.

 

Some.

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2 hours ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

So is it Mooks last day in his job ? If so what pearl of wisdom did she write in your leaving card ?

No card, no present. Nine years I was there.

 

Fucking cunts.

 

Couldn't be happier to be out of there.

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6 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

She’s got a mate staying for the weekend. This girl is like something out of TOWIE. Loud, annoying and thick as fuck. I lasted ten minutes before escaping upstairs to the bedroom. Now I know how Tokyo Joe felt when he got banished upstairs over Christmas. 

 

Thankfully they’re gonna be out most of the day tomorrow but I’m already counting down the minutes until Sunday. 

 

Did she remember to spray-tan her little toe too?

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13 minutes ago, Mook said:

No card, no present. Nine years I was there.

 

Fucking cunts.

 

Couldn't be happier to be out of there.

So they appreciate you as much as we do.

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15 minutes ago, Mook said:

No card, no present. Nine years I was there.

 

Fucking cunts.

 

Couldn't be happier to be out of there.

That's fucking disgusting mate. You're well better off.

 

Consider this the first day of the rest of your life.

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25 minutes ago, Mook said:

No card, no present. Nine years I was there.

 

Fucking cunts.

 

Couldn't be happier to be out of there.

Well it's a sad day in the Do'ins house. This thread just won't be the same. 

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28 minutes ago, Mook said:

No card, no present. Nine years I was there.

 

Fucking cunts.

 

Couldn't be happier to be out of there.

They defo having a leaving party in your honour later.

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1 minute ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

Well it's a sad day in the Do'ins house. This thread just won't be the same. 

I'll maybe put a retrospective together or something.

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After the loss of work blue and now Mook's thick boss, I'm really feeling the pressure to maintain links with Amy

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9 minutes ago, Mook said:

I'll maybe put a retrospective together or something.

Make it so.

1 minute ago, Remmie said:

After the loss of work blue and now Mook's thick boss, I'm really feeling the pressure to maintain links with Amy

It's all on you now Rem. Only your tenuous relationship with Amy stands between the forum and total destruction.

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27 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

Did she remember to spray-tan her little toe too?

 

Just went down for my tea and to help Turdsette with some activities in a kids magazine. Overheard them whispering about the mate maybe going to meet someone off Tinder or some shit tomorrow night. Sat there thinking to myself “Please fuck off. Please fuck off.”

 

Hope she fucks off. 

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1 hour ago, Mook said:

No card, no present. Nine years I was there.

 

Fucking cunts.

 

Couldn't be happier to be out of there.

That is disgusting behaviour.

 

Well, if you’d had any doubts about whether you’re doing the right thing, they’ll be well and truly put to bed now.

 

Bastards.

 

I feel like starting a collection for you myself

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3 hours ago, Mook said:

No card, no present. Nine years I was there.

 

Fucking cunts.

 

Couldn't be happier to be out of there.

 

2 hours ago, Champ said:

That is disgusting behaviour.

 

Well, if you’d had any doubts about whether you’re doing the right thing, they’ll be well and truly put to bed now.

 

Bastards.

 

I feel like starting a collection for you myself

For a kick off, we’ve been donated the remains of a cake left over from someone leaving from a neighbouring team to us. You’re welcome to that if you’d like it

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