The world of a woman.

[VladimirIlyich 5,655]

its OK Vlad, im 58 this year

Nice one. I'm getting younger by the post.

[BCM 1,142]

Belongs in here i think

 

https://twitter.com/BarstoolBigCat/status/961972664448487424

[Doctor Troy 7,069]

What is it about women who feel the need to constantly talk about their fucking kids non stop?. If they aren't posting shite about them on Faceaids every 5 minutes they are always talking about their schools, how much they get them to do for them instead of telling them.to fuck off, how much money they spend on them and how hard overall it is being a mother.

 

A woman I work with runs her entire family from her desk like Ma Boswell and can only talk about her kids to anyone who has the misfortune to listen. Her kids are 22 and 19 but you woukd think that they are under 10 the way she mollycoddles them and is basically their slave.

 

Another woman I know has gone on about her daughter splitting up with her boyfriend for weeks. She keeps telling me how amazing and gorgeous her daughter is but she is a scallier version of Vicki Pollard who only ever contacts her when she's after money.

 

One of my Mrs mates came round last night and just basically went on about her kids non stop for three fucking hours. Please just shut up and get your own life.

[Mook 14,112]

I zone out when they're talking about kids, there's only so many times you can listen to the same story about how someone's Son was born blonde & then went brown haired.

 

Almost impossible at times to get them to talk about the World outside their wee bubble, news, sport, art, anything like that is like getting blood out of a stone & when they do it's usually come straight from their husband/boyfriend.

[Red74 583]

My daughter offered to make me a cup of tea this morning. Upon opening the cupboard, I heard a disgusted cry of eeeeeeeee. Me thinking there was a mouse or worse gets up only to hear her shout, who in this house eats beef extract.

 

 

It was my jar of Bovril

[Elite 5,884]

My daughter offered to make me a cup of tea this morning. Upon opening the cupboard, I heard a disgusted cry of eeeeeeeee. Me thinking there was a mouse or worse gets up only to hear her shout, who in this house eats beef extract.

 

 

It was my jar of Bovril

Hope she's okay mate.

[Redder Lurtz 2,351]

"This bloody doorstop is doing my head it. It stops you from opening the door"

[Doctor Troy 7,069]

She was supposed to be in town for 5.30 today to meet her mates for a night out and started getting ready at 3.45. She then proceeds to take forever to get ready and can never remember where any of her stuff is ready. At 4.50 she finally is ready but then calls me a cunt and a selfish prick for not driving her into town because the bus will make her late.

 

Yep. Wanted me to drop everything, wait ages for my tea and drive into a busy city centre because she's fucking dozy and takes ages to get ready.

[stringvest 12,353]

Twat.

 

 

 

 

 

fucking hell Col.  And how long has Philly been doing tattoos?

[Furmedge 2,271]

Women can't plan. There was a load of us out in town and we all ended up back at one of our friends house carrying the night out on. As usual, all the fellas end up in the kitchen bevvying and the ladies in the living room screaming over one another when two of them come in and announce that they're all organising a weekend away and we'll all have to stay home and look after the kids. Sound we thought, gives us an excuse for a few days away too. Within 6 days the lads had arranged Portugal, booked flights and accommodation for the month after. The women? They were still thinking about when the best time to go away was. They ended up having afternoon tea in town and staying in Posh Pads. Rock and roll, girls.

 

We probably spent less too.

[belarus 1,294]

Belongs in here i think

 

https://twitter.com/BarstoolBigCat/status/961972664448487424

Oh. My. Word.

[Redder Lurtz 2,351]

Watching the curling earlier.

 

"What's the surface made of?"

 

"What do you think it's made of?"

 

"I dunno, some kind of vinyl that heats up when they scrub it"

 

"Well, it's ice. You know, winter Olympics and all that"

 

"Oh, right" *confused face*

[Ne Moe Imya 2,910]

Belongs in here i think

 

https://twitter.com/BarstoolBigCat/status/961972664448487424

 

That is absolutely ace. Can't believe I missed it the first time.

 

If you haven't yet, go ahead and click on that. I haven't laughed so hard in quite some time.

[scottthecanuck 1,167]

That is absolutely ace. Can't believe I missed it the first time.

 

If you haven't yet, go ahead and click on that. I haven't laughed so hard in quite some time.

I second this

[Stouffer 1,363]

She's just been complaining about how loud next doors tv is.

 

No love, what you can hear is our radio in our kitchen.

 

It's a good job she's got big jebs.

[Scottish Steve 61]

I've gone to bed & am reading, the wife's in the kitchen, fussing around. I can hear her by the front door. She shouts thru to me, have you locked up? So instead of simply extending her hand & checking the thing herself, she'd rather bawl at me from the other end of the house! Just check it yourself FFS

[ben48 245]

I think that this belongs in this thread.My nine year old granddaughter phoned me the other day,said that she was watching the Olympics on tv.What are you watching says I." I don't know really grampy it's where they go for a walk and then lay down".A perfect description of the biathlon.She's gonna be a good one.

[Paulie Dangerously 5,869]

Talking about great films with lady D. One of her favourites? Gorest Fump.

[Elite 5,884]

Talking about great films with lady D. One of her favourites? Gorest Fump.

To be fair he probably was dyslexic.

[Alan Sex 4,277]

You could suggest Doby Mick as an alternative.

[Doctor Troy 7,069]

It's always world war 3 if a woman can't get her own way.

[Furmedge 2,271]

Told her I'm off out on an all dayer in a few weeks with an acceptably muted response. Took her a few minutes to realise it's St Patrick's Day. I couldn't give two fucks what day it is, I'm off out to wet the baby's head of one of my good mates newborn, and the fact it's St Patrick's Day is infinitely more of an inconvenience. Now she's huffing and puffing about how we never go out on Paddy's day and it's not fair. True, we do never go out on Paddy's Day, because we both decided years ago it's fucking shit and full of dickheads.

[lifetime fan 9,503]

Fucking wanker.

 

 

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-woman-who-nine-speeding-1263439

[Paulie Dangerously 5,869]

Fucking wanker.

 

 

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-woman-who-nine-speeding-1263439

 

 

"WAGH WAGH WAGH WHY DO THE RULES APPLY TO ME???"

[lifetime fan 9,503]

“I do respect the 20mph limit but no one drives at that speed. It’s so hard to drive at that speed”.

 

 

Then you don’t respect it you stupid cunt.