The world of a woman.

[Champ]

This without any shadow of a doubt is the world of a woman. And in the world of a woman, this is a perfectly reasonable reaction.

In the world of some women

[littletedwest]

Get home from work and she's going mad as her coats been nicked off the washing line.

It's defo been nicked. Checked and it was still in the washing machine

" look Mrs tedwest them robbing cunts have stole it then broke in and put it back in the washer"

[Remmie]

Thread hint?

I'd never do such a thing for my upcoming birthday on 2nd October

[Scott_M]

I just want to grab my wife and do this to her at the moment:

 

 

After the shenanigans of the key incident a few weekends ago, she’s following it up with just a being a bigger and bigger moron.

 

1) It’s bin day. I take the bins out. She’s ordered something from Debenhams and what looks like empty rubbish bags by the front door so I pick it up and put it in the bin.

 

Where are my Debenhams bags?

I put them in the bin.

Why, it had my new bras in it?

It looked like empty bags.

No, they had my stuff in.

Oh, sorry but maybe rubbish looking backs shouldn’t be left by the door on bin day. Sorry again, I’ll buy you the new bras.

*Tears*

 

I take this is actually my fault but surely common sense would tell you otherwise?

 

2) Last Sunday, our friends were meant to be coming round for lunch. All morning she’s talking about how she’s looking forward to entertaining and showing off our new house etc etc. We’re potty training at the moment and our daughter has an accident and pisses on the floor - straight away, TODAY IS CANCELLED!!! So I try to leave her to calm down for a bit and talk to her again. NO TODAY IS CANCELLED, followed by more ranting. I then have to make up some lie to my mate telling him it’s cancelled and apologise.

 

3) She’s a bridesmaid next year at her friends wedding and the Hen Do seems be spiralling out of control (not her fault but anyway...)

 

So, is the Hen Do still over May Bank holiday?

It might be a week now.

Oh, Ok, where you going?

I think Las Vegas, Katie has her heart set on it.

I thought the other 2 bridesmaids have said they can’t afford that?

They can’t.

I thought you said you can’t afford it?

I can’t but if that’s what Katie wants...

Ok, I’ll have to take time off work to look after Alice but it’s not a problem and I think you should go

I wasn’t asking your permission, if that’s what we’re doing, I’m going.

No need for that. I’m not saying that, I’m saying I think you should go.

Just as well, I wasn’t asking your permission.

 

This goes round in circles for a bit now. She forgets I didn’t go on my mates stag do for 3 nights to Barcelona this summer because I made a decision I could afford it and go on holiday with her and our daughter so I did something for us.

 

I’m going to Seville in the CL in November. It then gets round to this...

 

You didn’t ask me if you could go to Seville.

Yes I did.

No you didn’t.

Yes I did, we had many conservations about me wanting to go away.

Yeah but you never said Seville.

I didn’t know it was Seville until the draw. I said would you like to come

....anyway, I’m not asking your permission on Vegas.

 

3) Next, she wants a new phone and has been saving to buy one outright. She wants an IPhone X.

 

Do you think I should get an IPhone X?

Do you want one?

Yes.

Get one then.

Don’t you think they are expensive?

Yes, £1000 for a phone with little upgrade on your current phone is expensive, hence why I’m not upgrading.

So I shouldn’t get one?

It’s your money.

So I shouldn’t get one?

No, I said if you’ve saved for it, you should do what you want. If just told you the reasons why I’m not getting one.

Maybe I’ll just break the screen and get a new 6S on Insurance.

To be honest, that would make more sense as you might need this extra money for the Hen Do

 

The conversation then goes round in circles again about the Hen Do. She’s also forgetting her strongly hinting I shouldn’t get a Nintendo Switch earlier in the year because I couldn’t afford it (I could but I couldn’t, if you know what I mean...) so I didn’t get one.

 

4) My wife is from Montana originally and wants to take our daughter back over to see her Grandpa as he’s got knee and back issues and says he can’t come here, although he manages to go to Boston to see her cousin and Arizona to play golf recently. He also never emails, never calls, never Skypes & generally makes no effort to see how she & our daughter our. When we’ve been to California, we’ve invited him down to see us and his reply was ‘Cant you come up to Montana’. No we fucking cant, we’ve come far enough.

 

I worked in the US one summer and I tagged on going up to Montana on the end of the trip and I’ll be polite and just say there isn’t much to do there and it isn’t the way I wish to spend my 2 week break. It’s also a fucking pain in the ass to get to, multiple stops and expensive.

 

I want to go to Montana next year to see Grandpa.

Ok.

I want to take Alice.

Ok.

Do you want to come?

How long for?

2 weeks.

No.

Why not?

It’s too far, too expensive and there isn’t much to do there.

I go and see your family

Yeah, my Dad lives

Well I want to take Alice.

I don’t think you should.

Why not?

(She’ll be approaching 3 by the time we go) It’s too far, too expensive and nothing to do.

We went to Miami with Alice.

Miami was a 8 hour direct flight. Billings is 16 hours with 2 stops.

I found a flight from London for 14 hours and 1 stop.

We live in Leeds, we have to get to Heathrow, so it’s not any shorter at all, in fact it’s longer.

We could go to my aunts lake house while we are there? Alice would love playing outside there.

That’s another 4 hour drive on top of the ridiculous flight. Also, it’s not safe for Alice to play in the woods, there’s snakes and Coyotes in the woods, you heard them(and there genuinely is).

You suggested going to Mexico on holiday?

Yeah and I came to the conclusion we can’t afford it! You know this.

You looked at going to California once and flying up to Billings for the weekend.

Yes.

Could we do that.

When we go back to California, I have no problem doing that. But guess what, we can’t afford it this year!

 

Cue face on. I know I’ve not heard the last of this one at all. I’ve been looking into it and it’s easier, quicker and cheaper to get to Pyongyang than Billings, that’s my next reply! I don’t want to sound selfish but it’s not the way I want to spend my family 2 week break - as I’ve made clear earlier, I put doing stuff together the 3 of us above anything else.

 

If she does this, plus whatever eventually happens for the Hen Do, when I suggest our family holiday, she’s going to say she can’t afford it and has no holiday at work.

 

Our daughter hasn’t been sleeping well for a while, which I know is taking it’s toll on her. I try to help wherever I can but it never seems

to be enough. About 50% of nights, including tonight, she goes to bed at 8pm and leaves me by myself. I’m actually quite upset about it. I know I can be a difficult at times but I always try / do my best for the 3 of us. My wife is normally quite rational and easy going but at the moment she’s just irrational. I’m trying to be supportive but I’m finding it harder and harder.

 

Anyway, idiot sandwich.

[Rico1304]

^ This is in the wrong thread.

[Elite]

That post needs chapters.

[Sputnik1]

It needs chapters and he needs a medal for patience. 

[Trumo]

...My wife is normally quite rational and easy going but at the moment she’s just irrational...

 

Sigh.

[Guest]

[Harry Squatter]

My Mrs' mate slagged her off yesterday because she lets our 8 year old daughter watch some reality show about Cheshire Housewives saying it's not suitable for her and might harm her way of thinking.

 

This might be true but this woman lets her 21 year old daughter go out with a drug dealer who has battered her, tried to pass her round his mates and threatened to slash her face with a Stanley knife.

[Elite]

My Mrs' mate slagged her off yesterday because she lets our 8 year old daughter watch some reality show about Cheshire Housewives saying it's not suitable for her and might harm her way of thinking.

 

This might be true but this woman lets her 21 year old daughter go out with a drug dealer who has battered her, tried to pass her round his mates and threatened to slash her face with a Stanley knife.

I not sure you can let a 21 year old do anything to be fair.

[Evelyn Tentions]

I just want to grab my wife and do this to her at the moment:

 

SNIP

 

Our daughter hasn’t been sleeping well for a while, which I know is taking it’s toll on her. I try to help wherever I can but it never seems

to be enough. About 50% of nights, including tonight, she goes to bed at 8pm and leaves me by myself. I’m actually quite upset about it. I know I can be a difficult at times but I always try / do my best for the 3 of us. My wife is normally quite rational and easy going but at the moment she’s just irrational. I’m trying to be supportive but I’m finding it harder and harder.

 

Anyway, idiot sandwich.

She's pregnant*. Scientific fact, it fries their brains

 

 

 

*is, was, will be. They're all like that

[3 Stacks]

My girl took a shit today, apparently. Had no idea they did that. 

[Alan Sex]

My girl took a shit today, apparently. Had no idea they did that.

 

I giggled. They fart too. Way worse than you. Girly fuckers won’t admit it, though.

[Scott_M]

I bought a Nintendo Switch yesterday so I can take my frustrations out on her but twatting her with green and red shells on Mario Kart.

[Champ]

I just want to grab my wife and do this to her at the moment:

 

 

After the shenanigans of the key incident a few weekends ago, she’s following it up with just a being a bigger and bigger moron.

 

Our daughter hasn’t been sleeping well for a while, which I know is taking it’s toll on her. I try to help wherever I can but it never seems

to be enough. About 50% of nights, including tonight, she goes to bed at 8pm and leaves me by myself. I’m actually quite upset about it. I know I can be a difficult at times but I always try / do my best for the 3 of us. My wife is normally quite rational and easy going but at the moment she’s just irrational. I’m trying to be supportive but I’m finding it harder and harder.

 

Anyway, idiot sandwich.

 

Something's no' right, Scott

[Anny Road]

Sorry but really pissed me off

 

Was at the gay gym this morning. (go to this one if it is pissing down) This is the fashion show off one as opposed to the proper one. I can walk here.

 

Anyway walked in and headed for the free weights area but could not get there because some woman, lovely as she was, was pulling some cable shite out of some machine. Rather than do it next to the machine she must have been 10m away from it. Across the whole corridor.

 

 

I asked here could I get passed she said she had 20 more reps whilst spitting on me and could I wait.

I said Ok and when she was done I asked her why she thought pulling the same weight from further away made her stronger.

She said it made the weight heavier.

I said well why not stay closer to the machine and drop it down a peg or two.

She said well then it really would be heavier.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Sorry but really pissed me off

 

Was at the gay gym this morning. (go to this one if it is pissing down) This is the fashion show off one as opposed to the proper one. I can walk here.

 

Anyway walked in and headed for the free weights area but could not get there because some woman, lovely as she was, was pulling some cable shite out of some machine. Rather than do it next to the machine she must have been 10m away from it. Across the whole corridor.

 

 

I asked here could I get passed she said she had 20 more reps whilst spitting on me and could I wait.

I said Ok and when she was done I asked her why she thought pulling the same weight from further away made her stronger.

She said it made the weight heavier.

I said well why not stay closer to the machine and drop it down a peg or two.

She said well then it really would be heavier.

 

Are you sure about this?

[lifetime fan]

 

I’m going to end up using that knife on her!

 

I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve told her knives don’t go in the dishwasher and I’m happy for her to leave them and allow me to wash them and sharpen them.

 

[Harry Squatter]

Women who ask for a weather report b3fore venturing outdoors. It's England, it's October, how long have you been alive?

[Paulie Dangerously]

I’m going to end up using that knife on her!

 

I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve told her knives don’t go in the dishwasher and I’m happy for her to leave them and allow me to wash them and sharpen them.

 

 

Looks like she's leaving them blade up on the off chance you accidentally slit your wrists there Col.

[Lee909]

By the time they've been through the washing cycling thet wont be sharp enough to cut them

[Evelyn Tentions]

Sorry but really pissed me off

 

Was at the gay gym this morning. (go to this one if it is pissing down) This is the fashion show off one as opposed to the proper one. I can walk here.

 

Anyway walked in and headed for the free weights area but could not get there because some woman, lovely as she was, was pulling some cable shite out of some machine. Rather than do it next to the machine she must have been 10m away from it. Across the whole corridor.

 

 

I asked here could I get passed she said she had 20 more reps whilst spitting on me and could I wait.

I said Ok and when she was done I asked her why she thought pulling the same weight from further away made her stronger.

She said it made the weight heavier.

I said well why not stay closer to the machine and drop it down a peg or two.

She said well then it really would be heavier.

 

 

Are you sure about this?

 

The thinking behind the answer could only come from a woman.

[Rico1304]

I take my little girl to school 4 mornings a week. We are never in a rush and even though it's her first year at school she's got into a little routine.

 

The wife takes her one day a week, moans I'm not helping her and they are always on the last minute with loads of drama.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I take my little girl to school 4 mornings a week. We are never in a rush and even though it's her first year at school she's got into a little routine.

 

The wife takes her one day a week, moans I'm not helping her and they are always on the last minute with loads of drama.

 

Can relate to that.  I used to get ToddleD up and dressed etc as LadyD used to work a fair drive away.  She got a new job so we agreed all I have to go is get her up and bring her down with her uniform etc 

 

It's gone from a fuss free pleasure ride to a drama filled horror show because instead of just doing her hair and getting herself ready LadyD has to get ToddleD dressed & do her hair.