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The world of a woman.


Ezekiel 25:17
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She's done it again. Recycling bin emptied this morning I go out about half hour ago to chuck some plastic bottles in the bin (crushed down of course) and low and behold she's had an Amazon delivery of something that come in a box slightly bigger than a microwave oven, does she break the box down so it takes up minimal space? Does she fuck, just lobs it in and the bin is half full.

 

I'm becoming a proper old, wingeing bastard regarding the bin, I've told her to leave it to me from now on because she has just no concept of what to do.

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1 hour ago, manwiththestick said:

She's done it again. Recycling bin emptied this morning I go out about half hour ago to chuck some plastic bottles in the bin (crushed down of course) and low and behold she's had an Amazon delivery of something that come in a box slightly bigger than a microwave oven, does she break the box down so it takes up minimal space? Does she fuck, just lobs it in and the bin is half full.

 

I'm becoming a proper old, wingeing bastard regarding the bin, I've told her to leave it to me from now on because she has just no concept of what to do.

At least she knows where or what a bin is. Everything just gets left in bags all over the kitchen in ours until I relent and put them out.

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2 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

She's done it again. Recycling bin emptied this morning I go out about half hour ago to chuck some plastic bottles in the bin (crushed down of course) and low and behold she's had an Amazon delivery of something that come in a box slightly bigger than a microwave oven, does she break the box down so it takes up minimal space? Does she fuck, just lobs it in and the bin is half full.

 

I'm becoming a proper old, wingeing bastard regarding the bin, I've told her to leave it to me from now on because she has just no concept of what to do.

Yeah I stay in charge of recycling and taking the bins out. She thinks I'm doing what she calls a mans job but the truth is she'd be getting pelters every-time if she dealt with them. 

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Nice sunny afternoon and we've both got a day off tomorrow so I asked the missus if she'd like to go down the local for a couple of afternoon beers, then head home and I'll cook dinner while the unmentionable is on.

 

Apparently she's got nothing to wear. Two wardrobes and three chests of drawers say differently. 

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2 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

she's got nothing to wear

 

The age old excuse. Two outcomes here:

a) she doesn't go out, or

b) you have to buy her something to wear.

Big problem now is that her shoes are the same colour as her top.

 

My shoes are trainer coloured.

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Came home the other day to the news that the light bulb in the bathroom had gone and the fixing was broken and couldn't be removed. I simply unscrewed the light bulb. She had been trying to pull the fixing out of the ceiling it seemed. 

 

She immediately orders 4 lightbulbs off amazon which duly arrive with the wrong fitting, these are the skinny screw in ones instead of the standard.  Rather than send them back, we're keeping them in case we need them despite there not being a single fixture in the house which accepts this kind of light bulb. She complains she's not a bulb expert, I explain that neither am I but I would've simply looked at the bulb I took out and bought the same one. It's obviously been thrown out  

 

She goes to the asda the next day and buys a bulb with the correct fitting, puts it in and everything. I assume it has about 2 lumins because it's so weak that I felt like I was showering in a cave last night. Her response:

 

"It's not the brightest but it'll be OK during the day."

 

Yes, of course. The day time when one traditionally needs to use a light bulb. 

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36 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Came home the other day to the news that the light bulb in the bathroom had gone and the fixing was broken and couldn't be removed. I simply unscrewed the light bulb. She had been trying to pull the fixing out of the ceiling it seemed. 

 

She immediately orders 4 lightbulbs off amazon which duly arrive with the wrong fitting, these are the skinny screw in ones instead of the standard.  Rather than send them back, we're keeping them in case we need them despite there not being a single fixture in the house which accepts this kind of light bulb. She complains she's not a bulb expert, I explain that neither am I but I would've simply looked at the bulb I took out and bought the same one. It's obviously been thrown out  

 

She goes to the asda the next day and buys a bulb with the correct fitting, puts it in and everything. I assume it has about 2 lumins because it's so weak that I felt like I was showering in a cave last night. Her response:

 

"It's not the brightest but it'll be OK during the day."

 

Yes, of course. The day time when one traditionally needs to use a light bulb. 


We’ve got two sort of blag chandelier type fittings in the living/dining room (6 bulbs, 3 in each). I bought 8 lightbulbs that turned out not to be dimmable so would just flicker constantly. I then went out and bought 8 more with the same problem. On the third attempt I went out and bought 4 lightbulbs that were the right ones. So now we’ve got one half of the room with the dimmable lights and one half that I’ve just stopped using. Safe to say I won’t have to buy any lightbulbs for the rest of the house for a long, long time. 
 

The chandelier type lights are the next thing to go when I’ve finished decorating. Horrible things to dust and they attract dead flies more effectively than dog shit does. 

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On 13/05/2021 at 20:05, manwiththestick said:

She's done it again. Recycling bin emptied this morning I go out about half hour ago to chuck some plastic bottles in the bin (crushed down of course) and low and behold she's had an Amazon delivery of something that come in a box slightly bigger than a microwave oven, does she break the box down so it takes up minimal space? Does she fuck, just lobs it in and the bin is half full.

 

I'm becoming a proper old, wingeing bastard regarding the bin, I've told her to leave it to me from now on because she has just no concept of what to do.

This just confirms it, the fuckers are all in a Facebook or WhatsApp group together and they’re trolling us. 

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We got a dishwasher in September & I don't think she's put a single thing in it since then, every dirty dish goes on the worktop or in the sink. Three times a day I need to go round the kitchen putting stuff in the dishwasher.

 

It's like there is some fucking law against putting things in a dishwasher.

 

And there's the 'Leaving all the doors wide open' World Cup her and the kids have on a daily basis. The shower of bastards.

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5 minutes ago, Mook said:

We got a dishwasher in September & I don't think she's put a single thing in it since then, every dirty dish goes on the worktop or in the sink. Three times a day I need to go round the kitchen putting stuff in the dishwasher.

 

It's like there is some fucking law against putting things in a dishwasher.

 

And there's the 'Leaving all the doors wide open' World Cup her and the kids have on a daily basis. The shower of bastards.

What’s the dishwashers name? 

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When I was married she would leave the car on the drive ( not a big drive ) unlocked with her bag and phone open to anyone to steal I got fed up of pointing this out so one day I removed everything and the panic it caused was off the scale and surprisingly it never happened again . 

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We went to pick the Grandkids up from school this afternoon and some fella was walking up the road. 

 

Her,  Bloody hell, there's Paddy McGuinness.

Me,  Eh?

Her,  There, he looks just like him.

Me,  Who?

Her,  (points) Him, he's the spit.

Me,  Paddy McGuinness is about 6 ft  2, he's about 5 ft 5, he looks nothing like him.

Her,  He does,

Me,  Nah,

Her,  You know who I mean,, the little skinny fella, Irish, You know, He was a boxer.

Me,  Barry McGuigan?

Her,  Yeh, him.

Me,   Looks fuck all like him.

Her,  Well they're both Irish anyway.

Me,   Paddy McGuinness is from Bolton.

Her,  Oh.

Me,  Fucks sake.

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1 hour ago, Mook said:

We got a dishwasher in September & I don't think she's put a single thing in it since then, every dirty dish goes on the worktop or in the sink. Three times a day I need to go round the kitchen putting stuff in the dishwasher.

 

It's like there is some fucking law against putting things in a dishwasher.

 

And there's the 'Leaving all the doors wide open' World Cup her and the kids have on a daily basis. The shower of bastards.

I'm happy to do the dishwasher. On the rare occasion she does it, I end up having to redo the wash as she hasn't bothered to rinse the crusty old dishes and sticks them in haphazardly anyway. 

 

What I can't abide is her attempts to "clean up" the kitchen by dumping everything in the sink and clogging the fucking thing up. So when it comes to filling the dishwasher, I first have to remove everything from the sink so I can rinse the dishes.

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I reckon they all have at least one thing that a child should be able to do, but for some reason an intelligent grown woman just can't.

My missus is a qualified engineer but she is incapable of putting petrol in the car - she just refuses to do it, or never notices that the light is on or something.

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6 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

I reckon they all have at least one thing that a child should be able to do, but for some reason an intelligent grown woman just can't.

My missus is a qualified engineer but she is incapable of putting petrol in the car - she just refuses to do it, or never notices that the light is on or something.

Had a discussion with my daughter about her car, a BMW Mini. They don’t come with a dipstick, it’s pretty much the same as petrol gauges now, electronic.

 

Me “Does it use much oil?”

Her “Oh, I don’t know. There’s no way to add oil anyway”

Me “Naah. There has to be a way to add oil.”

Her “Go on, see if you can find it” as she pulls the bonnet catch “I’ve asked loads of people and they don’t know”

 

28-AAAC43-0152-4-D33-AD2-F-0-F5-D876-E4-

 

Took ten minutes, even pointing to the page in the manual to convince her. To be fair she’s only owned the car from new for 5 years.

 

 

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