Jump to content
  • Sign up for free and receive a month's subscription

    You are viewing this page as a guest. That means you are either a member who has not logged in, or you have not yet registered with us. Signing up for an account only takes a minute and it means you will no longer see this annoying box! It will also allow you to get involved with our friendly(ish!) community and take part in the discussions on our forums. And because we're feeling generous, if you sign up for a free account we will give you a month's free trial access to our subscriber only content with no obligation to commit. Register an account and then send a private message to @dave u and he'll hook you up with a subscription.

The world of a woman.


Ezekiel 25:17
 Share

Recommended Posts

On 31/12/2020 at 13:28, Doctor Troy said:

A lad I know has two kids and basically has done nothing with his life for the past seven years. His bird always seems to be out and was on Facebook again the other night out with her mates.

 

We were talking about things we'd like to do if this pandemic shite ever gets sorted. I said I'd love to back to Argentina to watch Boca V River or to Las Vegas again.

 

He told his bird that he would love to do the Inca trail in Peru but when she realised that he would be away for over a week she went mad and said no fucking chance. She's been away to Benidorm, Ibiza and Newcastle in the last couple of years and managed to maintain almost a single woman's social life since they've had kids. But now she says fuck off to one of his lifetime ambitions.

 

Can't see that one lasting long.

 

 

If your missus isn’t someone you’d want with you on a once in a lifetime trip then there’s a problem anyway I reckon, never mind if she’d want to block it for any reason

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 01/01/2021 at 02:28, Doctor Troy said:

A lad I know has two kids and basically has done nothing with his life for the past seven years. His bird always seems to be out and was on Facebook again the other night out with her mates.

 

We were talking about things we'd like to do if this pandemic shite ever gets sorted. I said I'd love to back to Argentina to watch Boca V River or to Las Vegas again.

 

He told his bird that he would love to do the Inca trail in Peru but when she realised that he would be away for over a week she went mad and said no fucking chance. She's been away to Benidorm, Ibiza and Newcastle in the last couple of years and managed to maintain almost a single woman's social life since they've had kids. But now she says fuck off to one of his lifetime ambitions.

 

Can't see that one lasting long.

 

 

If my missus ever wanted to go to Ibiza, Benidorm or Newcastle for a holiday, I'd divorce her on principle. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Probably one for the 'little things that annoy' thread but it's about the wife so I'll add it here.

 

She always pulls the handbrake on her car without pushing in the little button so you get that ratchet sound everytime she pulls up outside. Small thing granted, but it doesn't half do my head in.

 

Another one is she closes our bedroom doors without pulling down the handle meaning the sash locates into the plate on the door in the noisiest possible way.

 

Just don't understand her sometimes.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We've had an unexpected week off due to having to close the daycare because of Covid.

 

Week of lie ins, watching films, early drinking and video games, taking advantage of a break we never got over Christmas?

 

Nah, lets get builders in to make a new room in the house we can barely afford and do a load of painting.

 

This relationship just keeps getting harder and harder

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Been playing, "Made Up Movie Facts, " with Mrs D recently.  Best ones I've got passed her so far were from Saving Private Ryan. 

 

1. That the guy who plays Old Ryan was Matt Damon's grandad

2. That Spielberg insisted on real corpses for the D-day scene(when they're all bobbing in the tide) and that people donated their bodies for it.

 

She pulled me up on the first one the next day because she checked IMDB but has yet to challenge the corpse one. 

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Been playing, "Made Up Movie Facts, " with Mrs D recently.  Best ones I've got passed her so far were from Saving Private Ryan. 

 

1. That the guy who plays Old Ryan was Matt Damon's grandad

2. That Spielberg insisted on real corpses for the D-day scene(when they're all bobbing in the tide) and that people donated their bodies for it.

 

She pulled me up on the first one the next day because she checked IMDB but has yet to challenge the corpse one. 

Tell her Total Recall was actually filmed on mars. 

 

 

 

Said it on here a few times but an ex turned to me during War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise and said "I cant believe this is based on a true story" when challenged "yes it is, from the 30's" 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 08/02/2021 at 23:33, manwiththestick said:

Probably one for the 'little things that annoy' thread but it's about the wife so I'll add it here.

 

She always pulls the handbrake on her car without pushing in the little button so you get that ratchet sound everytime she pulls up outside. Small thing granted, but it doesn't half do my head in.

 

Another one is she closes our bedroom doors without pulling down the handle meaning the sash locates into the plate on the door in the noisiest possible way.

 

Just don't understand her sometimes.

My mrs pulls the seat right back when she gets out of the car. I just don’t get it - it winds me up every time I get in it. Sat pulling it forward going “why?”. I wouldn’t mind but she’s only 5 foot 1!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, belarus said:

My mrs pulls the seat right back when she gets out of the car. I just don’t get it - it winds me up every time I get in it. Sat pulling it forward going “why?”. I wouldn’t mind but she’s only 5 foot 1!

She does it to piss you off mate. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

59 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

She does it to piss you off mate. 

Haha. I could live with that. I asked her after I wrote this “why do you pull the seat right back again?” and she goes “to get out”.

 

So that’s that then

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Been playing, "Made Up Movie Facts, " with Mrs D recently.  Best ones I've got passed her so far were from Saving Private Ryan. 

 

1. That the guy who plays Old Ryan was Matt Damon's grandad

2. That Spielberg insisted on real corpses for the D-day scene(when they're all bobbing in the tide) and that people donated their bodies for it.

 

She pulled me up on the first one the next day because she checked IMDB but has yet to challenge the corpse one. 

 

You can add to the second one by telling her one of them was called Quint.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some woman I know has worked in the civil service for 25 years, the vast majority of the last 7 years have been spent off sick on full pay. She's announced that she's left and started her own travel company.

 

A travel company during a pandemic where no one will travel and people will be worried about losing their money if they booked anything even with a major operator and not someone who hasn't a clue working on a laptop in their living room.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Some woman I know has worked in the civil service for 25 years, the vast majority of the last 7 years have been spent off sick on full pay. She's announced that she's left and started her own travel company.

 

A travel company during a pandemic where no one will travel and people will be worried about losing their money if they booked anything even with a major operator and not someone who hasn't a clue working on a laptop in their living room.

Is there a 'Darwin Awards' thread?

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 08/02/2021 at 18:30, General Dryness said:

If my missus ever wanted to go to Ibiza, Benidorm or Newcastle for a holiday, I'd divorce her on principle. 

 

Yeah not sure what the appeal was for him in the first place really? I wouldn't even sneeze next to a person who would choose to go to those places for a holiday, let alone procreate with them. He has to take responsibility for settling down with such a basic twot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Chris said:

 

Yeah not sure what the appeal was for him in the first place really? I wouldn't even sneeze next to a person who would choose to go to those places for a holiday, let alone procreate with them. He has to take responsibility for settling down with such a basic twot.

She has nice tits and a lovely arse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 08/02/2021 at 23:30, General Dryness said:

If my missus ever wanted to go to Ibiza, Benidorm or Newcastle for a holiday, I'd divorce her on principle. 


Newcastle is great for a weekend, lots of culture with the Baltic development, great nightlife, lots of really good pubs and a band in each, fun people and quite a pretty city to amble around.

 

Ibiza is awesome, well the hippy side of the island, well worth looking at and so far removed from the popular misconception of San Antonio & Pete Tong bellends. Nothing better than Balearic sun, musicians on the beach whilst the sun goes in to hiding, genuine conversation and care and a spirit lost to the wind for most. 

 

Benidorn, yeah, fuck that.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Me "You should have started that flooring with a straight line that you checked to make sure."

 

Her "I have, look" Proceeds to pick up a spirit level and place it on the floor against the three slightly off pieces of flooring that have been glued down. 

 

I had to mansplain very carefully how spirit levels don't work that way. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My old office manager was weird, she didn't like having women coworkers and would badmouth them until they'd been fucked off, even if they didn't work in our office. After there was no women left she turned her guns on us, we went for two full weeks last year without her speaking to us at all, all day, which in a three person office was kind of tough going. 

 

I always felt she needed to feel needed by the boss, but she accomplished this (in her own head) not by excelling, but by undermining others to make it appear she was the only one who could ultimately be relied upon. I've seen this done by women in an office environment more times than I can count. It's depressing as fuck, especially when you know what's going on.

 

Reminded me of that line from batman, you stay the hero just long enough to become the villain.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...