Jump to content
  • Sign up for free and receive a month's subscription

    You are viewing this page as a guest. That means you are either a member who has not logged in, or you have not yet registered with us. Signing up for an account only takes a minute and it means you will no longer see this annoying box! It will also allow you to get involved with our friendly(ish!) community and take part in the discussions on our forums. And because we're feeling generous, if you sign up for a free account we will give you a month's free trial access to our subscriber only content with no obligation to commit. Register an account and then send a private message to @dave u and he'll hook you up with a subscription.

The world of a woman.


Ezekiel 25:17
 Share

Recommended Posts

10 hours ago, Aw Geez said:

 

I work in a male dominated industry (software) and we have no drama. Could just be luck though.

I work in IT and we have one woman in our office. Drama almost non-existent, though communication and eye candy is pretty poor. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I am saying something subtly to the Mrs, she always chooses that sentence to loudly and repeatedly ask what I have said. An example might be:

 

Me: That guy has pretty bad BO

 

Her, with the guy in distant earshot: That guy has pretty bad what? 

 

Me: Err never mind. 

 

Her, man might sill be 15-20 metres away: I almost caught it, you said something about that guy has something pretty bad... 

 

Me: Let's talk about it later. 

 

Her: Why won't you just tell me?

 

Me (loudly whispering): Why won't you pick up on the fact that I don't want to either repeat loudly or talk about this? 

 

Her: What? 

 

Stinky guy: Excuse me miss, I think your husband is trying to tell you that I stink, that's why he is saying it subtly. 

 

Her: Why don't you just speak up? 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Remmie said:

If I am saying something subtly to the Mrs, she always chooses that sentence to loudly and repeatedly ask what I have said. An example might be:

 

Me: That guy has pretty bad BO

 

Her, with the guy in distant earshot: That guy has pretty bad what? 

 

Me: Err never mind. 

 

Her, man might sill be 15-20 metres away: I almost caught it, you said something about that guy has something pretty bad... 

 

Me: Let's talk about it later. 

 

Her: Why won't you just tell me?

 

Me (loudly whispering): Why won't you pick up on the fact that I don't want to either repeat loudly or talk about this? 

 

Her: What? 

 

Stinky guy: Excuse me miss, I think your husband is trying to tell you that I stink, that's why he is saying it subtly. 

 

Her: Why don't you just speak up? 

 

 

Yep. Women are absolutely murder for stuff like that. About as subtle as Krakatoa. I reckon they just want to see you get filled in. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Remmie said:

If I am saying something subtly to the Mrs, she always chooses that sentence to loudly and repeatedly ask what I have said. An example might be:

 

Me: That guy has pretty bad BO

 

Her, with the guy in distant earshot: That guy has pretty bad what? 

 

Me: Err never mind. 

 

Her, man might sill be 15-20 metres away: I almost caught it, you said something about that guy has something pretty bad... 

 

Me: Let's talk about it later. 

 

Her: Why won't you just tell me?

 

Me (loudly whispering): Why won't you pick up on the fact that I don't want to either repeat loudly or talk about this? 

 

Her: What? 

 

Stinky guy: Excuse me miss, I think your husband is trying to tell you that I stink, that's why he is saying it subtly. 

 

Her: Why don't you just speak up? 

 

 

When I used to work for carphone warehouse we had an email system were the message flashed up instantly on your screen. Bloke walked in wearing the worst wig ever so I sent the bird I was working with an email " state of that syrup" 

She read it and shouted on top note " kev I don't get it what's a syrup?"

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

When I used to work for carphone warehouse we had an email system were the message flashed up instantly on your screen. Bloke walked in wearing the worst wig ever so I sent the bird I was working with an email " state of that syrup" 

She read it and shouted on top note " kev I don't get it what's a syrup?"

A fella I used to work with brought his wife and newborn baby in so all the women could coo over the newborn. Some other lad I worked with (a bit out of order granted) went "I didn't know it was bring your dog to work day" In earshot of about 4 people. One being this loudmouth who faked confusion and loudly started saying "whose brought their dog to work? can we bring our dog in?" She knew full well what she was doing and after a few discreet "shut the fuck ups" I had to walk away. Thankfully the woman with the baby hadn't noticed but her fella did. Drama drama drama 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, littletedwest said:

When I used to work for carphone warehouse we had an email system were the message flashed up instantly on your screen. Bloke walked in wearing the worst wig ever so I sent the bird I was working with an email " state of that syrup" 

She read it and shouted on top note " kev I don't get it what's a syrup?"

I would have had no idea what you meant by syrup either so wigman may not have understood either

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Is it sexist to say I don't, and never have, liked working with women? If so, who cares.

 

But I don't, in fact in my next move it will be something I actively look to avoid. Sadly not always possible with office work.

 

It's not an issue with individual women, I've worked with some boss women, but when there's enough of them to form a work culture. They merge together, like the Borg, and create untenable environments.

 

I wish I'd been an engineer or something that women can't be arsed with. Go in, do some work, go home. No politics, no bitching, no personal empires, no moody shit. 

 

I read this in the voice of your avatar. Satisfying. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 29/10/2020 at 21:05, Doctor Troy said:

They literally have to complicate every single fucking thing that happens. They just love drama, messing round and turning everything into an episode. 

 

My Mrs cannot do the most basic task without it becoming a drama, changing her mind 4 or 5 times before going with the original idea.

 

I have now refused to order any food when we go out because she over complicates every order. Last week we went out for a pub lunch with my daughter. Me and my daughter both decided what we wanted within about 2 minutes. She read the entire menu about 6 times, changed her mind about 4 times before I went the bar and got annoyed when I started muttering fucking hell about 10 times. Got to the bar, ordered everything, paid on my card then she comes to the bar asking me to cancel the order as shes changed her mind. I went off my head and refused.

 

She then sat there ignoring me and making me out to be a twat because I ordered something she didnt want, like she never changed her mind about 35 times. 

 

Today she picked some medicine up for my son, read the label and then said she wasn't sure about the dosage. She then wanted me to ring the hospital pharmacy to ask them to confirm it. I asked why she simply couldn't have asked them there and then rather than me having to be on hold for 20 minutes waiting to ask them a question that would have taken her 10 seconds to ask. 

 

Rookie mistake.

 

On 24/07/2014 at 11:21, Tom R said:

 

Example A:

 

You’re at a restaurant with the Mrs. She’s being as indecisive and annoying as ever with her menu choice. “oooh, chicken salad or the risotto? Chicken salad or risotto? Hmm” etc. On and on it goes for up to 20 minutes.

You have, of course, settled on the Steak within 30 seconds. You’re hungry and you’re getting tetchy. You’re on the verge of losing your rag.

The not-smart man(ager) says something like, “oh for God’s sake, will you just decide, I’m starving here”.

She will feel patronised and (quite rightly) a bit stupid that she can’t even pick some fucking food off a menu properly like a real person (a man)

She then gets annoyed (with you, but mostly with herself if we’re being honest – it just manifests with her take it out on you), so you have a small argument. You don’t get to bum her that night as it’s leaves a slightly sour taste at the very start of what could have otherwise been a very pleasant evening.

You will forget it almost instantly, of course, but remember she will hold on to this moment like she would hold on to Herpes; FOREVER.

 

The smart man(ager), however, says something like: “Ooh, risotto eh? Remember when you had that really nice Risotto when we were at [insert a nice memory or lcoation here]…” and then say nothing, turning back to your menu, smiling nicely. Allow the pause to sink in. The power of the pause is a special tool indeed with these simple creatures.

10 seconds later she will say, “yes, I think I will have the risotto” and slam her menu shut with a calm authority and pride. In her mind she will now be telling herself what a strong, decisive, independent woman she is and what a calm and patient, loving partner she has across the table from her, when the reality of course is that she is an easily led, gullable, indecisive, borderline simpleton who you will be bumming senseless within 2 hours from now and you are just a very good manager. 

 

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Seeing some the reaction from some women to Megan Markle’s miscarriage is incredible. Fucking hateful.  
 

We may be a massive bunch of misanthropic cunts but there’s more empathy one the first page of the thread on here. 

 

Women hate women. They're like polarised magnets. The only reason Sex and the City and Dirty Dancing are popular with women are because the leads are all munters.

 

The happiest you'll ever see a woman is when her best mate has just lost weight but then gets run over.

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Seeing some the reaction from some women to Megan Markle’s miscarriage is incredible. Fucking hateful.  
 

We may be a massive bunch of misanthropic cunts but there’s more empathy one the first page of the thread on here. 
 

Edit: the BBC story has comments turned off. 

The daily mail are closely moderating any comments. I put earlier "Very sad, also sad to see the amount of red ticks against thoughtful well wishing comments" - Not published. Most of the comments are warm condolence types but with shit loads of red tics vs green ticks. I dread to think the vile thats been sent in and not published. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

My missus being neighbourly this morning put everyone's recycle bin back up there drives off the pavement before she went for her walk. I've just watch the binmen drive past. She's essentially just put everyone's full bin back. 

Haha, fucking hell! Imagine if it was a few weeks later she did that and just before Christmas you didn't get your full recycling bin emptied. Well, I would be raging!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Haha, fucking hell! Imagine if it was a few weeks later she did that and just before Christmas you didn't get your full recycling bin emptied. Well, I would be raging!

I'm putting a sign on our bins out the back this Christmas. "Use your own fucking bins or I'll just throw it all over your back garden". Last year was a fucking disgrace. Bins overflowing with other peoples stuff from the other half of the road 2 days before Christmas day. 

 

 

EDIT: Haha, fucking hell. I've just mentioned this to her so she's just ordered one off the council just saying we haven't got enough to go round and other people use our bins. Then she says "Once it comes we can just bring our new recycling bin and our main one into back yard so nobody can use it" Problem solved? Well yeah but it means I cant leave a shitty note to the cunts who think they can dump their shit in other peoples bins. I know which house it is as well. Bitch 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My ex wife came round the other day to get stuff like Christmas decorations that were still in the loft.

 

She was here about 20 minutes and the whole time was talking about her group of mates and who has fallen out with who. Who’s done this, who’s accused of grassing for that etc
 

It was just exhausting to listen to and I could feel my anxiety levels raise even though it doesn’t involve me.

 

I’ve no idea how they have the energy for constant aggro, they seem to thrive off it, I can’t imagine anything worse than constant confrontation. Slags.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey @Paulie Dangerously, I feel your pain...

 

 

Went to the garden centre earlier ‘for a look around’. 

She then decided she wanted to surprise the boys with a Christmas tree when they get home from school today. 

 

Me: It’s too fucking early, it’s not even December. 
Her: Don’t be such a miserable cunt.
Me: It’s not being miserable wanting to wait for December to buy a bloody Christmas tree. 
Her: Why can’t you be excited for our first Christmas together. 
Me: I was. Last year. When it was our first Christmas together. 
Her: Why do you have to always be such an argumentative prick? 
Me: It’s a natural talent I have. 


She storms off in a huff. 

 

Her: Well I’m having this tree today no matter what you say. 
Me: Babe, get a bloody tree if that’s what makes you happy. But that tree is too big. 
Her: No it isn’t. 
Me: Yes it is. 
Her: It isn’t. 
Me: It is. It’s not massively tall I agree but it’s too big in diameter for the lounge. 
Her: How do you know? 
Me: *starts biting knuckles*, because I have a clue about special awareness! 
Her: Stop being a twat and ruining the day. I’m having it. 

 

Come home, she’s rearranged the furniture 3 times and this is her best idea...

 

2DAAC694-35AE-47DC-9F4B-B1DD1EFA0071.jpeg
 

 

Me: We just won’t use the back porch or washing machine for 7 weeks then!

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...