The world of a woman.

[Elite]

Does she have a dog? May as well shag that as well.

[mattyq]

So... shagging her mum, dad, dog and any siblings and she says I should get over her.

 

[Geoff Woade]

Fucking hell lads, don’t get overexcited!
 

She’s actually the best of the bunch, her mum looks like Elton John but with a worse haircut than him and her sister a dumpier version of Kerry off ‘This Country’.

 

Its safe to say there will be no revenge shagging as the joke would absolutely be on me.

[lifetime fan]

14 minutes ago, mattyq said:

So... shagging her mum, dad, dog and any siblings and she says I should get over her.

 

Sounds like Dixies Trailer Park on xhamster. 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Geoff Woade said:

Fucking hell lads, don’t get overexcited!
 

She’s actually the best of the bunch, her mum looks like Elton John but with a worse haircut than him and her sister a dumpier version of Kerry off ‘This Country’.

 

Its safe to say there will be no revenge shagging as the joke would absolutely be on me.

I see you’ve left the dad out. 
 

Defo more to this whole story than meets the eye. 

[Geoff Woade]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

I see you’ve left the dad out. 
 

Defo more to this whole story than meets the eye. 

Her dad is best left out of this. He is a deranged psychopath who thought I was a fanny because I hadn’t done time.

 

[Creator Supreme]

9 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

Her dad is best left out of this. He is a deranged psychopath who thought I was a fanny because I hadn’t done time.

 

Fucking hell Geoff! The sound of duelling banjos should have been enough to put you off!

[Harry Squatter]

Looks like this "influencer" has got a cob on because someone has slagged her off for being on her phone the entire holiday and pretending to have an amazing time.

 

 

Anyway, here's a couple of photos of her so you can make a balanced judgement.

 

 

[Harry Squatter]

[manwiththestick]

Wrong thread 

[VladimirIlyich]

46 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Looks like this "influencer" has got a cob on because someone has slagged her off for being on her phone the entire holiday and pretending to have an amazing time.

 

 

Anyway, here's a couple of photos of her so you can make a balanced judgement.

 

 

What a horror!

[Harry Squatter]

I almost had a mid life crisis/nervous breakdown sitting in my flat all day taking selfies and trying on new clothes so needed a holiday where I sat round taking selfies all day and trying on new clothes. Then someone had a go at me about it.

[Special K]

My wife decided to make the door into our living room better. It's a double door with panes of glass in it. She decided (correctly to be fair) that they needed to come out. Instead of getting someone in she decided to do it herself. Fair play, she does a good job and gets the glass out. There's now a 1.5m x 0.5m hole in the doors. Guess who had to drive out to the builder's merchant to get the wood to replace it all, then spend all day cutting the wood down by the millimetre to fill the hole???

 

Can't move my arm now

[Mudface]

59 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

I almost had a mid life crisis/nervous breakdown sitting in my flat all day taking selfies and trying on new clothes so needed a holiday where I sat round taking selfies all day and trying on new clothes. Then someone had a go at me about it.

Is this Strontium Dog living his life and not just existing?

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

I almost had a mid life crisis/nervous breakdown sitting in my flat all day taking selfies and trying on new clothes so needed a holiday where I sat round taking selfies all day and trying on new clothes. Then someone had a go at me about it.

I wish I could afford a holiday. This fucking shallow clothes horse cunt hasn't got a fucking clue how the real world works. Breakdown/midlife crisis. Get fucked. I hope she gets fucking syphilis.

[Harry Squatter]

7 hours ago, General Dryness said:

I wish I could afford a holiday. This fucking shallow clothes horse cunt hasn't got a fucking clue how the real world works. Breakdown/midlife crisis. Get fucked. I hope she gets fucking syphilis.

She would actually have to get off her phone to even talk to someone. Then she would string them along for ages saying she's worth the wait while ignoring him on the phone on several dates he paid for. He will have to put up with her incessant self absorbed shite.

 

When she finally gets round to having sex he will have got bored and gone off and shagged someone else. Then she will moan that all men are bastards and he was only after one thing. 

[Geoff Woade]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

She would actually have to get off her phone to even talk to someone. Then she would string them along for ages saying she's worth the wait while ignoring him on the phone on several dates he paid for. He will have to put up with her incessant self absorbed shite.

 

When she finally gets round to having sex he will have got bored and gone off and shagged someone else. Then she will moan that all men are bastards and he was only after one thing. 

I love how she keeps banging on about the same point as well but pretending it hasn’t bothered her.

It’s like when Alan Partridge says he’s not arsed about people shouting ‘ahaaaa’ at in the street, doesn’t bother him in the slightest and he actually quite likes it, so if they want to keep doing it that’s fine by him because ‘he could not give a fucking shit’

[Bjornebye]

“Vacay” the fucking trotter is only popular because of her tits 

[Harry Squatter]

Can remember I met some bird in town that I had copped off with the previous weekend. She was texting me all week so I agreed to meet her in the Grapes in Mathew Street. She turned up an hour late despite me sending her two messages saying I was there and did she want me to get her a drink. No response.

 

When she finally bothered to turn up she didnt even mention the lateness. Bought her 2 drinks without her bothering to get me one. Started talking on the phone to her mate saying she was out with me. Then her ma and sister both rung her in quick succession with some mundane family drama. I basically stood there on my own for an hour and then sat there opposite her for almost two hours while she was on the phone for the majority of it. 

 

Told her I was going the bar, walked out and back to Moorfields then got the train back to South Road. Got a barrage of messages about 30 minutes later asking where I was then a load calling me a cunt for leaving her on her own in a "strange" pub. Even though she said she drunk in there a lot. 

 

Just basically told her to latch onto another fella in there as i had gone back to Waterloo to meet my mates because at least they would talk to me.

 

I can imagine its ten times worse for lads now with birds never off Faceaids or Instagram, taking selfies every 20 seconds. 

[Harry Squatter]

57 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

I love how she keeps banging on about the same point as well but pretending it hasn’t bothered her.

It’s like when Alan Partridge says he’s not arsed about people shouting ‘ahaaaa’ at in the street, doesn’t bother him in the slightest and he actually quite likes it, so if they want to keep doing it that’s fine by him because ‘he could not give a fucking shit’

It's a valid observation from the girl who she's decided to out as jealous. Some shallow bint in my work went to Amsterdam last year and all she seemed to do was take hundreds of photos in new clothes she had bought. 

 

She basically stayed in her hotel most of the time and just went out to a couple of expensive bars at night. Didn't explore the city, go to a coffee shop, look at the red light district out of curiosity, didn't go on the canal, Anne Frank's house or anything. 

 

She basically could have saved her flight and hotel money and had a couple of nights in town posing at some bar. 

[RJ Fan club]

Just had to explain to the Missus that the Harlem Globetrotters are an exhibition team and don’t play in the NBA.

 

My lad has been watching trick shots on you tube. So I had to explain that if he wants to watch basketball he may need to pick another team to support.

 

She was surprised to hear this, despite the clip that we watching being vs the Generals who were all about 5ft tall and 20st and we’re getting rings run around them. They may have well have dragged a step ladder on the court to dunk

 

 

[Section_31]

Mrs is off this week and she likes leaving the windows open to 'air the house out', place looks like the planet Krypton.

[littletedwest]

Watched the Big lewbowski on Sunday. She thought Jeff bridges was kenny rogers?!

[Elite]

9 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Mrs is off this week and she likes leaving the windows open to 'air the house out', place looks like the planet Krypton.

Probably trying to get rid of the 'wank' smell that every man can't help but infest home with.

[Harry Squatter]

They literally have to complicate every single fucking thing that happens. They just love drama, messing round and turning everything into an episode. 

 

My Mrs cannot do the most basic task without it becoming a drama, changing her mind 4 or 5 times before going with the original idea.

 

I have now refused to order any food when we go out because she over complicates every order. Last week we went out for a pub lunch with my daughter. Me and my daughter both decided what we wanted within about 2 minutes. She read the entire menu about 6 times, changed her mind about 4 times before I went the bar and got annoyed when I started muttering fucking hell about 10 times. Got to the bar, ordered everything, paid on my card then she comes to the bar asking me to cancel the order as shes changed her mind. I went off my head and refused.

 

She then sat there ignoring me and making me out to be a twat because I ordered something she didnt want, like she never changed her mind about 35 times. 

 

Today she picked some medicine up for my son, read the label and then said she wasn't sure about the dosage. She then wanted me to ring the hospital pharmacy to ask them to confirm it. I asked why she simply couldn't have asked them there and then rather than me having to be on hold for 20 minutes waiting to ask them a question that would have taken her 10 seconds to ask.