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The world of a woman.


Ezekiel 25:17
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4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

If I want my Mrs to talk to me, all I have to do is put my earphones in. This includes questioning me about complex TV or movie plot points even when I've been sat there for an hour moving my feet and humming tunes. 

 

Get a set of over ear noise cancelling headphones. They're so good you can play dumb, avert their eye contact and plead innocence without getting murdered.

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Just had a nice curry and  been talking about what to watch, I wanted to watch the bobby sands documentary, the missus was backing Molly’s game. So we have a plan.

then she sticks on a funeralcast of some rello down south, and says to me you’ve just sent a WhatsApp message to all my family (the one about women getting on with it and fellas baking banana bread) whilst we’re sitting there watching a funeral.

how the fuck am I supposed to know every one is tuned in, I’m waiting to watch a fucking film as planned, no mention of a funeral till gone 8pm.

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36 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

If I want my Mrs to talk to me, all I have to do is put my earphones in. This includes questioning me about complex TV or movie plot points even when I've been sat there for an hour moving my feet and humming tunes. 

I hear you brother. Its usually when the adverts come on during the shite programmes she watches on the telly while I am on my laptop watching my stuff or listening to music.

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Does it work in anyone else’s house where if she wants something but is in another room, she asks but you can’t hear clearly so ask them to say it louder, then barely audibly you hear murmurs back so then have the option of A - just leaving it, which results in her marching through with a face on demanding to know why she’s been ignored, B - asking her to say it again louder, which results in her screaming at you for either not paying attention, winding her up or being a deaf prick. Or C - having to go to where she is and asking again, whilst being careful that she can in no way sense any hint of annoyance or exasperation as that would make you a bellend?

 

What she wanted will then be something pointless anyway such as to tell you about something on a shit tv show or to moan about someone you don’t know.

 

But when you want something and she doesn’t hear first time you know you have to go to where she is as otherwise it’ll be your fault for mumbling or placing unrealistic expectations that she should hear you from a distance. 

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4 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

Does it work in anyone else’s house where if she wants something but is in another room, she asks but you can’t hear clearly so ask them to say it louder, then barely audibly you hear murmurs back so then have the option of A - just leaving it, which results in her marching through with a face on demanding to know why she’s been ignored, B - asking her to say it again louder, which results in her screaming at you for either not paying attention, winding her up or being a deaf prick. Or C - having to go to where she is and asking again, whilst being careful that she can in no way sense any hint of annoyance or exasperation as that would make you a bellend?

 

What she wanted will then be something pointless anyway such as to tell you about something on a shit tv show or to moan about someone you don’t know.

 

But when you want something and she doesn’t hear first time you know you have to go to where she is as otherwise it’ll be your fault for mumbling or placing unrealistic expectations that she should hear you from a distance. 

This is typical female behaviour.

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5 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

Does it work in anyone else’s house where if she wants something but is in another room, she asks but you can’t hear clearly so ask them to say it louder, then barely audibly you hear murmurs back so then have the option of A - just leaving it, which results in her marching through with a face on demanding to know why she’s been ignored, B - asking her to say it again louder, which results in her screaming at you for either not paying attention, winding her up or being a deaf prick. Or C - having to go to where she is and asking again, whilst being careful that she can in no way sense any hint of annoyance or exasperation as that would make you a bellend?

 

What she wanted will then be something pointless anyway such as to tell you about something on a shit tv show or to moan about someone you don’t know.

 

But when you want something and she doesn’t hear first time you know you have to go to where she is as otherwise it’ll be your fault for mumbling or placing unrealistic expectations that she should hear you from a distance. 

You've basically described my life for the last 8 weeks during this lockdown.

 

Apparently I need hearing aids because I cant hear her from the bathroom in the extension with 2 TVs blaring out in there and the living room as well as the washing machine and dishwasher being on in the kitchen.

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They always expect you to walk to them when trying to tell you something from another room, does my fucking head in. When you get there its some inane pointless shit about the weather forecast and the fact her phone says its now a 20% chance of rain as opposed to earlier when it said there was a 30% chance of rain. I DONT CARE!

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Watching Bosch last night and we’re towards the end of series 1. Bosch and Marlo Stanfield have discovered a dead body and it’s decomposing. 
 

She lets out a shreak and covers her nose. 
 

Me: Why are you covering your nose? It’s on the bloody telly, you can’t smell anything! 
 

Her: I meant to cover my eyes. 

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11 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Watching Bosch last night and we’re towards the end of series 1. Bosch and Marlo Stanfield have discovered a dead body and it’s decomposing. 
 

She lets out a shreak and covers her nose. 
 

Me: Why are you covering your nose? It’s on the bloody telly, you can’t smell anything! 
 

Her: I meant to cover my eyes. 

She was trying not to hurt your feelings you smelly cunt 

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11 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

Does it work in anyone else’s house where if she wants something but is in another room, she asks but you can’t hear clearly so ask them to say it louder, then barely audibly you hear murmurs back so then have the option of A - just leaving it, which results in her marching through with a face on demanding to know why she’s been ignored, B - asking her to say it again louder, which results in her screaming at you for either not paying attention, winding her up or being a deaf prick. Or C - having to go to where she is and asking again, whilst being careful that she can in no way sense any hint of annoyance or exasperation as that would make you a bellend?

 

What she wanted will then be something pointless anyway such as to tell you about something on a shit tv show or to moan about someone you don’t know.

 

But when you want something and she doesn’t hear first time you know you have to go to where she is as otherwise it’ll be your fault for mumbling or placing unrealistic expectations that she should hear you from a distance. 

Im fucking made up its not just me. Sick to death of her just shouting my name from another room, expecting me to stop what I'm doing/ watching and go to whereever she is, only to be told some utter drivel I've no interest in. I stopped doing it months ago but she now just rings my mobile to tell me.

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Women who make these tiktok videos are getting on my fucking nerves. Theres some bird on my Facebook who is fit but fucking hell if I lived with her I'd murder her after about 2 days. 

 

She's done loads trying and failing to be funny and tons just of her on the sofa with her husband while he's watching telly sticking a camera in his face saying he's boring when he just wants some fucking peace for 5 minutes. I sense a new patio being built soon and her disappearing. 

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12 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Women who make these tiktok videos are getting on my fucking nerves. Theres some bird on my Facebook who is fit but fucking hell if I lived with her I'd murder her after about 2 days. 

 

She's done loads trying and failing to be funny and tons just of her on the sofa with her husband while he's watching telly sticking a camera in his face saying he's boring when he just wants some fucking peace for 5 minutes. I sense a new patio being built soon and her disappearing. 

 This girl I know on Fb has started the same shite. Even her husband told her to stop it after about the 6th video. 

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It appears selling fake perfume is the new pyramid scheme they’re in to. ‘It’s the same stuff but just not got the fancy bottle or advertising’

 

One I know was ‘promoted’ within 3 days and then again within a week. Constantly hounds her other friends to either buy from them or to join her in this exciting new world. I give it 6 weeks before it’s all forgotten about.  

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20 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

It appears selling fake perfume is the new pyramid scheme they’re in to. ‘It’s the same stuff but just not got the fancy bottle or advertising’

 

One I know was ‘promoted’ within 3 days and then again within a week. Constantly hounds her other friends to either buy from them or to join her in this exciting new world. I give it 6 weeks before it’s all forgotten about.  

Yeah, there's a girl I went school with, the definitive "live, laugh, love" yummy (aka fat) mummy type. Off the top of my head she's had more business ventures than Alan Sugar selling candles, cosmetics, diet plans/supplements, handmade jewellery and trinkets and is now doing nails.

 

Dickheads.

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23 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

It appears selling fake perfume is the new pyramid scheme they’re in to. ‘It’s the same stuff but just not got the fancy bottle or advertising’

 

One I know was ‘promoted’ within 3 days and then again within a week. Constantly hounds her other friends to either buy from them or to join her in this exciting new world. I give it 6 weeks before it’s all forgotten about.  

That's been going on for years. 

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11 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Yeah, there's a girl I went school with, the definitive "live, laugh, love" yummy (aka fat) mummy type. Off the top of my head she's had more business ventures than Alan Sugar selling candles, cosmetics, diet plans/supplements, handmade jewellery and trinkets and is now doing nails.

 

Dickheads.


Sounds like Amy Cake Cunt. 

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1 hour ago, Geoff Woade said:

It appears selling fake perfume is the new pyramid scheme they’re in to. ‘It’s the same stuff but just not got the fancy bottle or advertising’

 

One I know was ‘promoted’ within 3 days and then again within a week. Constantly hounds her other friends to either buy from them or to join her in this exciting new world. I give it 6 weeks before it’s all forgotten about.  

Yep and call themselves self employed on their bio. My Mrs bought me some blag Creed off someone on Facebook which basically smelt like something you buy in the body shop for 12 quid. Leaked all over my gym bag after 2 weeks. 

 

Another business venture is selling diet plans/health supplements. One girl I know has been promoted 3 times in one year but still advertised for a flat mate cos she was skint.

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7 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Yep and call themselves self employed on their bio. My Mrs bought me some blag Creed off someone on Facebook which basically smelt like something you buy in the body shop for 12 quid. Leaked all over my gym bag after 2 weeks. 

 

Another business venture is selling diet plans/health supplements. One girl I know has been promoted 3 times in one year but still advertised for a flat mate cos she was skint.

I also had the fake Creed a while ago, it smells alright but stops smelling basically as soon as it dries on your skin. I honestly don’t know why people bother. I’ll never be getting it again. There’s a reason for the saying ‘you buy shite, you buy twice’. 
 

Worryingly, it seems that the next move for the girls who go through the phases of starting up selling these, juice plus, jewellery etc on Facebook is to move on to childminding as their next venture.  

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