The world of a woman.

[Rushies tash]

2 minutes ago, Mook said:

Bird who sits next to me at work (26) was on about France today...

 

Her 'You'd have to fly though.'

Me 'You could get the train.'

Her 'No you couldn't because of the sea.'

Me 'There's a tunnel.'

 

She would not fucking believe me so I went & got the French lad to come over & have a word...

 

Him 'Don't listen to Mook, he's full of shit.'

 

We eventually had her Google the Channel Tunnel & she goes 'Can you see the fishes when you're in the train?'.

Fucking hell. And she has an actual job?

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Mook said:

Bird who sits next to me at work (26) was on about France today...

 

Her 'You'd have to fly though.'

Me 'You could get the train.'

Her 'No you couldn't because of the sea.'

Me 'There's a tunnel.'

 

She would not fucking believe me so I went & got the French lad to come over & have a word...

 

Him 'Don't listen to Mook, he's full of shit.'

 

We eventually had her Google the Channel Tunnel & she goes 'Can you see the fishes when you're in the train?'.

Typical French sleazy cunt. Putting you down while he tries to put his dick in her palm. 

 

He is right like but thats beside the point. 

 

as for the bird... Pics or GTFO 

[Elite]

31 minutes ago, Mook said:

Bird who sits next to me at work (26) was on about France today...

 

Her 'You'd have to fly though.'

Me 'You could get the train.'

Her 'No you couldn't because of the sea.'

Me 'There's a tunnel.'

 

She would not fucking believe me so I went & got the French lad to come over & have a word...

 

Him 'Don't listen to Mook, he's full of shit.'

 

We eventually had her Google the Channel Tunnel & she goes 'Can you see the fishes when you're in the train?'.

Her idea of the channel tunnel is brilliant though. Imagine an underwater train journey filled with the cast of finding Nemo and mermaids.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

35 minutes ago, Mook said:

Bird who sits next to me at work (26) was on about France today...

 

Her 'You'd have to fly though.'

Me 'You could get the train.'

Her 'No you couldn't because of the sea.'

Me 'There's a tunnel.'

 

She would not fucking believe me so I went & got the French lad to come over & have a word...

 

Him 'Don't listen to Mook, he's full of shit.'

 

We eventually had her Google the Channel Tunnel & she goes 'Can you see the fishes when you're in the train?'.

 

Whatever you do, don't mention Ferries to her. You'll end up wasting 2 hours of your life explaining things to her. 

[Mook]

2 hours ago, Rushies tash said:

Fucking hell. And she has an actual job?

She's actually really sound and not your typical office bimbo, it came completely out of the blue.

 

I'm convinced the ghost of my old boss possessed her for an hour or something.

[Dougie Do'ins]

13:00 on Christmas day and all's well.

 

My phone rings and it's my niece asking what should she get her granddad (my dad) for Christmas.

[JagSquared]

Just said to GF isn’t it mental that 20 years ago everyone was worried the world was gonna end / all our computers would crash because of Y2K?

 

She had no fucking idea what I was on about. She’d never heard of it.
 

Although it gives me the opportunity to make up some lies. 

 

Remember in 1997 when skynet became self aware but thankfully we were able to shut it down

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, JagSquared said:

Just said to GF isn’t it mental that 20 years ago everyone was worried the world was gonna end / all our computers would crash because of Y2K?

 

She had no fucking idea what I was on about. She’d never heard of it.
 

Although it gives me the opportunity to make up some lies. 

 

Remember in 1997 when skynet became self aware but thankfully we were able to shut it down

I worked for a High Street Bank back in 1999 and myself and 2 other staff were taken off any duties at the end of August , and spent four months phoning every single business customer to go through a ' Millennium Bug ' questionnaire. Biggest waste of time in history. 

[Bruce Spanner]

Just walked in to ask a question she knew the answer to, before accusing me of staying up late, I’m on UK time. Then asking if we have have a phone charger, the very same charger she gave her sister literally one hour ago?  Then complained about something or other with one eye on Netflix.
 

I didn’t even move from my toasty position on the sofa, it all as it lasted about 30 seconds.
 

She did a lap of the room and I’m still not sure what the fuck she was on about. 

 

The end.

[Bob]

I’m not sure if this is ‘world of a woman’ or ‘world of an animal lover’ material, but she was a woman and the other thread doesn’t exist so I’ll go with it here.

 

santa brought my little girl a rabbit hutch this year, along with a note from Santa saying he thinks she should go and choose her own rabbit from an adoption centre.

 

that was 3 days ago, and quite honestly I think Santa underestimated how much effort this process would take.

 

we visited the local rspca place on the 27th and got sent on our way without even being shown and rabbit, so yesterday drove an hour to near hull to a different adoption place.

 

fast forward to 8pm last night where me and my missus are on the phone to the “bunny woman” from that place doing an interview to make sure we’re serious about this whole affair.

 

We’ve had to go from the hutch Santa brought, and a run i was going to knock together myself, to the hutch, inside the shed (which they’ll have all to themselves) plus a run twice as big and twice as tall which I’m gonna have to buy and possibly then amend.

 

memorable quotes from the nutter on the phone were...

 

“We must put the bunny at the centre of everything” and my favourite “the needs of the modern bunny”.

 

she didn’t say it, but I’m pretty sure she was angling for us to offer to move into the shed and give the house over to the fucking rabbits.

 

we’re still a home visit away from being approved for adoption yet.

 

she also said she’d like to keep in touch after adoption, so I’ll now have to go through the ball ache of changing my phone number when this is all done.

 

the needs of the modern bunny.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

You needed to finish that post with 'That's all folks.' 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Someone got me ma in law a soda stream, as she buys loads of fizzy water, and is concerned about her plastic usage. Today she's come back from the shop with loads of plastic bottles of still water for her soda stream.

[Dr Nowt]

1 hour ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

“We must put the bunny at the centre of everything”

Especially pastry.

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, Pistonbroke said:

You needed to finish that post with 'That's all folks.' 

He'll get that cwazy wabbit. 

[VladimirIlyich]

On 06/12/2019 at 17:45, Mook said:

Bird who sits next to me at work (26) was on about France today...

 

Her 'You'd have to fly though.'

Me 'You could get the train.'

Her 'No you couldn't because of the sea.'

Me 'There's a tunnel.'

 

She would not fucking believe me so I went & got the French lad to come over & have a word...

 

Him 'Don't listen to Mook, he's full of shit.'

 

We eventually had her Google the Channel Tunnel & she goes 'Can you see the fishes when you're in the train?'.

'Yes you can. Its ace when the Great White Shark tries to ram your carriage.' (Beware of euphemisms.)

[Rico1304]

20 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

'Yes you can. Its ace when the Great White Shark tries to ram your carriage.' (Beware of euphemisms.)

Can’t remember if I’ve mentioned before but my brothers ex thought that the Jaws music was the noise made by sharks when they were hunting.   

[Trumo]

That rabbit woman either hasn't got kids, or if she has, they've grown up to be needy attention-seeking fuckwits.

[Mudface]

Just now, Trumo said:

That rabbit woman either hasn't got kids, or if she has, they've grown up to be needy attention-seeking fuckwits.

She does sound over the top, but to be fair to her a lot of pets are kept in completely inadequate conditions. Rabbits aren't a great pet at the best of times anyway- https://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2019/oct/14/not-cross-bunnies-can-pet-rabbit-be-happy

 

[Elite]

2 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I’m not sure if this is ‘world of a woman’ or ‘world of an animal lover’ material, but she was a woman and the other thread doesn’t exist so I’ll go with it here.

 

santa brought my little girl a rabbit hutch this year, along with a note from Santa saying he thinks she should go and choose her own rabbit from an adoption centre.

 

that was 3 days ago, and quite honestly I think Santa underestimated how much effort this process would take.

 

we visited the local rspca place on the 27th and got sent on our way without even being shown and rabbit, so yesterday drove an hour to near hull to a different adoption place.

 

fast forward to 8pm last night where me and my missus are on the phone to the “bunny woman” from that place doing an interview to make sure we’re serious about this whole affair.

 

We’ve had to go from the hutch Santa brought, and a run i was going to knock together myself, to the hutch, inside the shed (which they’ll have all to themselves) plus a run twice as big and twice as tall which I’m gonna have to buy and possibly then amend.

 

memorable quotes from the nutter on the phone were...

 

“We must put the bunny at the centre of everything” and my favourite “the needs of the modern bunny”.

 

she didn’t say it, but I’m pretty sure she was angling for us to offer to move into the shed and give the house over to the fucking rabbits.

 

we’re still a home visit away from being approved for adoption yet.

 

she also said she’d like to keep in touch after adoption, so I’ll now have to go through the ball ache of changing my phone number when this is all done.

 

the needs of the modern bunny.

You do realise that when you pick it up, it will be wearing a waistcoat and pocket watch.

[General Dryness]

14 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

Can’t remember if I’ve mentioned before but my brothers ex thought that the Jaws music was the noise made by sharks when they were hunting.   

Hunting for what, the rest of the string section?

[lifetime fan]

The birds mate is pregnant with twins, she found out the sex just before Christmas and told their group of friends when we went out for a drink on the weekend. 
 

Birds mate #1 “We’re having a boy and a girl”.

Birds mate #2 “Do you know if they’ll be identical twins”? 

Apparently I’m a cunt for laughing and mate #2 doesn’t like me. 

[Strontium]

On ‎29‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 08:29, Bob Spunkmouse said:

she didn’t say it, but I’m pretty sure she was angling for us to offer to move into the shed and give the house over to the fucking rabbits.

 

My sister has two rabbits. The rabbits don't get on with each other (despite being sisters) so they each have their own room in the house.

[sir roger]

I don’t think I will ever understand women. Gave her the sausage roll on the right  as a treat and ended up in the spare room last night.

[Barrington Womble]

[Dr Nowt]

Superb.