The world of a woman.

[Tony Moanero]

2 hours ago, Fowlers God said:

My ex always wanted to know why I couldn’t be responsible and come home with a kebab and come in for a shag like “normal” people at midnight and not stay out to ungodly hours. 

 

Reminding her that she could sleep with me whenever she wanted (but never did) and not just a ploy to get me to come home early never went down well. 

Kebab > shag

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

2 hours ago, Anny Road said:

I got a big row today because i never did my Mrs homework for her.

She is going on a course next week and has to read the subject matter prior to attending and answer some questions and write a summary essay essentially to show she has read the notes.

This is how you learn I tell her.

No. Its easier if I do the essay and answer the questions then all she needs to do is read my notes. She is too busy apparently.

She has been out for her tea with pals and kids 3 times this week and this weekend is off to see some theater bullshit.

She will see her arse when she gets home because I am playing Red Dead redemption 2.

Ah fuck off Anny, yer a gamer, never felt so let down, yer big spod.

hard man bollocks.

[Anny Road]

2 minutes ago, arthur friedenreich said:

Ah fuck off Anny, yer a gamer, never felt so let down, yer big spod.

hard man bollocks.

I play for about 20 mins and then it gets thrown at the wall. 

The hard man is a myth mate. I’m nearly50 for fucks sake. I may have had my time 30 years ago but now I’d rather have a steak and a kip.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

15 minutes ago, Anny Road said:

I play for about 20 mins and then it gets thrown at the wall. 

The hard man is a myth mate. I’m nearly50 for fucks sake. I may have had my time 30 years ago but now I’d rather have a steak and a kip.

I’m bollocked so I don’t have t8me to reply properly right now, but finding out TLW’s very own jimmy fucking nail plays Nintendo, ah Christ, ye’ve Ruined me Friday night.

[Mook]

Pure Partridge stuff from my boss today, an IT boy was up from Newcastle to sort some stuff out in our office, she went downstairs to get him this morning & when the pair of them come into the office, she is in the middle of doing the worst Geordie accent I've ever heard. "My husband has a friend who is a Geordie so I can do all the accents.", this was met with complete silence from the bloke.

 

He came back in from his break with a can of Coke,

 

Her, "All your teeth will fall out drinking Coke."

Him, "What?"

Her, "That Coke will rot your teeth."

Him - silence

 

Can you believe her job title is 'Senior Relationship Manager'?

[Dr Nowt]

6 minutes ago, Mook said:

Pure Partridge stuff from my boss today, an IT boy was up from Newcastle to sort some stuff out in our office, she went downstairs to get him this morning & when the pair of them come into the office, she is in the middle of doing the worst Geordie accent I've ever heard. "My husband has a friend who is a Geordie so I can do all the accents.", this was met with complete silence from the bloke.

 

He came back in from his break with a can of Coke,

 

Her, "All your teeth will fall out drinking Coke."

Him, "What?"

Her, "That Coke will rot your teeth."

Him - silence

 

Can you believe her job title is 'Senior Relationship Manager'?

My old man was from the North East, my Mum is from Devon.

 

Get her in company with his family or in fact anyone else from that part of the country and she is immediately all “Eeeeeeeeeh” and “Ya knooooooo” like she’s out of When the Boat Comes In, to the point they never look sure whether or not she’s taking the piss.

 

It used to make me climb the walls with discomfort when I felt somehow associated with the behaviour, but now I just sit back and grin like the huge cunt I am.

[Mook]

9 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

My old man was from the North East, my Mum is from Devon.

 

Get her in company with his family or in fact anyone else from that part of the country and she is immediately all “Eeeeeeeeeh” and “Ya knooooooo” like she’s out of When the Boat Comes In, to the point they never look sure whether or not she’s taking the piss.

 

It used to make me climb the walls with discomfort when I felt somehow associated with the behaviour, but now I just sit back and grin like the huge cunt I am.

I normally sit in the corner cringing like fuck but I handed my resignation in yesterday so had a wee chuckle to myself knowing that I'll only have to listen to it for another month.

[Dr Nowt]

8 minutes ago, Mook said:

I normally sit in the corner cringing like fuck but I handed my resignation in yesterday so had a wee chuckle to myself knowing that I'll only have to listen to it for another month.

One of the best feelings ever, handing in your resignation for a job you hate.

 

More to the point, handing it in when it means escaping a colleague or boss you can’t stand the sight or sound of.

 

Nice one.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

1 hour ago, Anny Road said:

I play for about 20 mins and then it gets thrown at the wall. 

The hard man is a myth mate. I’m nearly50 for fucks sake. I may have had my time 30 years ago but now I’d rather have a steak and a kip.

Glory Days!

[Dr Nowt]

The sheer smug I don’t need to tolerate your shit anymore glee reminds me of “It’s alright...our car’s arrived” during the tea shop scene in Withnail, when Monty arrives to pick them up.

[Byrnie]

21 minutes ago, Mook said:

I normally sit in the corner cringing like fuck but I handed my resignation in yesterday so had a wee chuckle to myself knowing that I'll only have to listen to it for another month.

Didn't know about this until now. Congrats mate. Hope the new job works out for you.

What a feeling it is leaving a job you don't like!

[Remmie]

2 hours ago, Mook said:

I normally sit in the corner cringing like fuck but I handed my resignation in yesterday so had a wee chuckle to myself knowing that I'll only have to listen to it for another month.

Congratulations, I take it you finally got your formal offer letter? Almost as good as not having to deal with that thundercunts is not having to put up with shite jokes on here about getting it walloped. Is there an exit interview and if so, will you unleash the fury? 

[Mook]

6 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Congratulations, I take it you finally got your formal offer letter? Almost as good as not having to deal with that thundercunts is not having to put up with shite jokes on here about getting it walloped. Is there an exit interview and if so, will you unleash the fury? 

No letter yet but I spoke with my new employers & got my start date etc. 

 

Regarding the exit interview, yes & the fury will be in attendance.

[Remmie]

1 minute ago, Mook said:

No letter yet but I spoke with my new employers & got my start date etc. 

 

Regarding the exit interview, yes & the fury will be in attendance.

Can you please record it for my amusement? 

 

Are you saying the cunt will be in attendance? 

[Dougie Do'ins]

3 hours ago, Mook said:

I normally sit in the corner cringing like fuck but I handed my resignation in yesterday so had a wee chuckle to myself knowing that I'll only have to listen to it for another month.

Well done mate. Is it a similar type of job ?

 

Would love to be a fly on the wall at the exit interview.

[Pureblood]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

No letter yet but I spoke with my new employers & got my start date etc. 

 

Regarding the exit interview, yes & the fury will be in attendance.

Got a stream?

[Mook]

Ha ha, my boss won't be at the exit interview but I plan on being pretty candid about things.

 

I'm moving from share registration back into banking/investment, Dougie.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, Mook said:

Ha ha, my boss won't be at the exit interview but I plan on being pretty candid about things.

 

I'm moving from share registration back into banking/investment, Dougie.

 

 

Well done mate. 

[Dougie Do'ins]

11 minutes ago, Mook said:

Ha ha, my boss won't be at the exit interview but I plan on being pretty candid about things.

 

I'm moving from share registration back into banking/investment, Dougie.

 

 

So what was her reaction like when you handed in your notice ?

[Mudface]

[Mook]

59 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

So what was her reaction like when you handed in your notice ?

It was pretty low key to be honest, she looked a bit like she might cry & then 20 minutes later she started overcompensating by singing to herself & practically skipping about the office.

 

She said to me this morning, "It must feel weird, leaving after all this time.", I just said, "It feels good." then wandered off to get some water.

[KMD7]

Congrats Mook. Great news

[tokyojoe]

You'll miss her when you've gone.

[Josef Svejk]

9 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

You'll miss her when you've gone.

We'll miss her.

[cloggypop]