The world of a woman.

[Trumo]

42 minutes ago, DJLJ said:

Got tickets a couple of months ago to this play for the kids for Christmas. I put them on one of the shelves in the cupboard and told her then where I put them. Over those couple of months she has continued to pule stuff on top of that shelf and this morning she got into a strop because she couldn’t find the tickets and had looked everywhere amd I’m at fault for walking straight over and lifting all her shit up to show the tickets on the same place as where I placed them 2 months ago. 

 

And now I have hidden them on purpose for her...

 

going to the pub 

 

Leave them there.

[Harry Squatter]

After watching"Ray" starring Jamie Foxx for almost 45 minutes the other night after coming in halfway through the film, my Mrs asked me "Is he blind???".

 

Even though the entire time she watched the film he had sunglasses on and kept feeling people's arms when talking to them.

[Trumo]

35 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

After watching"Ray" starring Jamie Foxx for almost 45 minutes the other night after coming in halfway through the film, my Mrs asked me "Is he blind???".

 

Even though the entire time she watched the film he had sunglasses on and kept feeling people's arms when talking to them.

 

At least she didn't go around telling people it was a film about Stevie Wonder.

[Harry Squatter]

Or David Blunkett

[Rico1304]

True to form my wife has bought a load of fresh flowers today.  As ever I’ve just retrieved them from the utility room and put them in vases. 

 

We go away for the weekend tomorrow. We’ll get back just in time for me to throw them all away. 

[PestiRed]

She bought you flowers, it’s the thought that counts?

 

kind of feels like the genders have been reversed here

[Harry Squatter]

They really hate you having a good time don't they?.

 

Last Friday I was supposed to go to Prague but cunting bastard Ryanair cancelled my fucking flight. I went into town after changing my money back to get absolutely shit faced.  Despite my holiday being ruined that I'd been looking forward to for a whole year she moaned at me for getting pissed and hardly talked to me until Sunday.

 

I've been fed up and bored off my head all week in work and had a few drinks each night. Had 5 cans last night watching shit telly but then she moans at me today making out I'm turning into Richard Harris or Peter O'Toole. 

 

 

[jonnyp]

On 7/6/2018 at 8:12 AM, Mook said:

The last few days I've been sitting in Princes Street gardens to have my sandwich & you hear birds on the phone all the time trying to find their pals, it's fucking hilarious. Some examples:-

 

"I'm on the left side of Princes Street, are you on the right? I'll come to the right." Would East & West not make more sense?

"I'm right next to the big wheel near the statue." She's about 400yds from the big wheel & there are statues all over the shop.

"Are you near the castle? I am, I'll keep walking." The whole street is near the castle.

 

I had to help the bird I work next to with a bus yesterday as well, despite living in Edinburgh for 50 years she didn't know what side of the street to stand on to get the bus to the hospital.

 

This isn’t a leap to defend womankind but apparently it’s not always them, as walking through Istanbul the day before the game in 2005 I overheard one lad on his phone looking for his mates say “No, No, No, I’m outside the mosque “.

 

He may still be there.

 

[Barrington Womble]

On 10/20/2018 at 11:22 PM, Doctor Troy said:

They really hate you having a good time don't they?.

 

Last Friday I was supposed to go to Prague but cunting bastard Ryanair cancelled my fucking flight. I went into town after changing my money back to get absolutely shit faced.  Despite my holiday being ruined that I'd been looking forward to for a whole year she moaned at me for getting pissed and hardly talked to me until Sunday.

 

I've been fed up and bored off my head all week in work and had a few drinks each night. Had 5 cans last night watching shit telly but then she moans at me today making out I'm turning into Richard Harris or Peter O'Toole. 

 

 

Sounds to me like she was pissed off you stayed at home! 

[Rico1304]

6 minutes ago, Barry Wom said:

Sounds to me like she was pissed off you stayed at home! 

We all were!

[ZonkoVille77]

My missus sent me a link for a Harry Potter coffee mug this morning, saying it would be a good Christmas stocking filler for our Daughter who loves Harry Potter films. My daughter is 5.

[Mook]

We've moved office overnight, already between the boss & the other bird it's been:-

 

Too cold

Too hot

Too noisy

Too small

Too 'different'

Too white

Too sunny

 

Plus the fact she had the poor maintenance boy swap all the desks over because she wanted the tan coloured desks (as opposed to the white ones that are exactly the same which were already in the new room) & now she's got the IT lad running about like a blue arsed fly after her.

 

Groan.

 

[Bellflower]

On ‎10‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 8:32 PM, General Dryness said:

Women can be far worse cunts in an office setting than men could ever be.

 

If theres enough of them about you've just got to keep your head down and hope for the best.

Probably the best piece of advice you will get in your life...……..

[Mook]

The two women in my office are currently discussing whether or not they're going to see the Spice Girls reunion gig in Edinburgh, they're not on about going with kids either. One of them is 50 & the other one is nearly 60.

[Champ]

3 hours ago, Mook said:

The two women in my office are currently discussing whether or not they're going to see the Spice Girls reunion gig in Edinburgh, they're not on about going with kids either. One of them is 50 & the other one is nearly 60.

So what you saying here, Mook?

 

The Spice Girls are practically middle aged themselves 

[Mook]

3 minutes ago, Champ said:

So what you saying here, Mook?

 

The Spice Girls are practically middle aged themselves 

I'm saying that grown ups who go to concerts by manufactured pop music acts (without accompanying kids) are an embarrassment. The Spice Girls were specifically marketed (by men, Girl Power eh?) at young girls.

 

I could maybe understand it if it was a nostalgia thing & they were in their late 20s/30s but this pair were 30 & 38 twenty years ago when The Spice Girls were massive.

 

[thegreatelephant]

struggling for decades with the broad understanding of the concept that the much more economical advance train tickets are non-refundable, so if dates are chosen you can't alter them on a whim and get your money back.

[Champ]

27 minutes ago, thegreatelephant said:

struggling for decades with the broad understanding of the concept that the much more economical advance train tickets are non-refundable, so if dates are chosen you can't alter them on a whim and get your money back.

Bastards, that’s what they are

[thegreatelephant]

30 minutes ago, Champ said:

Bastards, that’s what they are

quite agree. train companies are indeed bastards who have no appreciation of the female psyche. but it's what we've got to work with unfortunately.

 

terms and conditions apply

[TheBitch]

1 hour ago, thegreatelephant said:

struggling for decades with the broad understanding of the concept that the much more economical advance train tickets are non-refundable, so if dates are chosen you can't alter them on a whim and get your money back.

Richard Ashcroft gig in London was cancelled at short notice last week, so I paid a £17.50 admin fee to change the dates of my train tickets.

 

£17.50

 

I changed the dates to when we are scheduled to play West Ham in Feb. You know that game is going to be rearranged now and I will lose out again.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Being busy at Uni I left LadyD in charge of sorting out our switch of internet provider and TV. She selected NowTV on the basis of value and that we could have freeview on it and be able to buy passes for sky for when GOT etc came on. 

 

Just plugged the box in and...what's this? No freeview. A quick Google clearly shows that she's ordered the 4k box which our internet speed (which she suggested downgrading to) and clearly states it does not have a freeview facility and suggests best usage along side a smart TV (which we don't have)

 

Currently on live chat trying to get them to take the box back.  

[Dougie Do'ins]

How's the new girl settling in Mook ? 

[Rico1304]

I’m in Poland for 3 days with work.  Whilst at the airport yesterday I get invited to watch Eng v NZ at Twickenham on Saturday.  Thinking I don’t want to take the piss I called the wife asking if she minded. Surprisingly she said ok so I confirmed. 2 mins later I get a text “how much is Tom Ford perfume in Duty Free?”   Played.  

[Chairman Meow]

1 hour ago, rico1304 said:

I’m in Poland for 3 days with work.  Whilst at the airport yesterday I get invited to watch Eng v NZ at Twickenham on Saturday.  Thinking I don’t want to take the piss I called the wife asking if she minded. Surprisingly she said ok so I confirmed. 2 mins later I get a text “how much is Tom Ford perfume in Duty Free?”   Played.  

If you want to get your own back I have a lot of used gear oil to dispose of at the moment as I've been stripping down all of my spare gearboxes, more than happy to bottle some Henry Ford perfume for you.

[Mook]

11 hours ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

How's the new girl settling in Mook ? 

She's been down in London the last two days, starts in our office today. I'm expecting it to be pretty catty but I'm hungover so will be keeping my head down.

 

We've learned in the last two weeks that my boss' best mate is starting in December too, part-time so I'm on a bit of a downer about it all to be honest. Just me & four women going on about their nails & holidays all day.

 

Let joy be unconfined.