The world of a woman.

[Dougie Do'ins]

3 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Fill in the blanks. 

 

Just lacking that wee bit of ___clunge___. 

.

[VladimirIlyich]

12 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Fill in the blanks. 

 

Just lacking that wee bit of ______. 

A penis?

[Fowlers God]

I’m staying out of this one

[lifetime fan]

I’m impressed a female f**tballer can kick a ball further than Mig. 

[mattyq]

49 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

I’m impressed a female f**tballer can kick a ball further than Mig. 

My Granny can kick the ball further than Mig and she's dead

 

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

I'm tempted to set up a business that runs "learning to dance in the rain" classes for all the "yummy mummies" who constantly post that infamous dirge quote on social media. 

 

I've checked with all the local education establishments and on YouTube for online tutorials and there's definitely a gap in the market for dancing in the rain trainers. 

 

You'd make a killing. These gullible fuckers will buy into anything. And you might even get the added bonus of some wet t-shirt nipple action! 

[Josef Svejk]

16 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

I'm tempted to set up a business that runs "learning to dance in the rain" classes for all the "yummy mummies" who constantly post that infamous dirge quote on social media.

[TheBitch]

Her: OH MY GOD!!! I totally forgot the Romans were Italian.

 

Me: *stares*

 

Rome.

 

Her: Yeaaaahhh.

 

 

[tokyojoe]

Their ability to over complicate things is really quite phenomenal

Her Indoors Mum is having a significant birthday bash over at her other daughters place. This involved transporting a few carrier bags and a couple of boxes of beer about 30 yards. Yes, yards not mile

 

So what happens? Her sister has to get the bloody car out to pick things up and you know who has to load it. Same person had to walk over the road and unload the bloody thing after the car had reached its destination. At the same time   I just carried another bag over. To be fair to HI she did agree that walking it was easiest.

Anyway after all that there are still two boxes of beer and another carrier bag with wine in it.

I suppose I will just carry it over in the morning unless her sister has planned on chartering a 747 freighter.

[tokyojoe]

Unknown to me Her Indoors had decided to rearrange things in the kitchen to ‘put things in a logical place’.

 

We all (men) know what that means. Can’t find a fucking thing.

[VladimirIlyich]

12 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

Unknown to me Her Indoors had decided to rearrange things in the kitchen to ‘put things in a logical place’.

 

 

 

 

 

We all (men) know what that means. Can’t find a fucking thing.

 

 

She sounds like patio filling.

[Barrington Womble]

12 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

Unknown to me Her Indoors had decided to rearrange things in the kitchen to ‘put things in a logical place’.

 

 

 

 

 

We all (men) know what that means. Can’t find a fucking thing.

 

 

In my house that normally involves ramming it into the closest cupboard out of site until you are unfortunate enough to open said cupboard and it all comes tumbling out. Usually on my head. 

[Rico1304]

My mother in law is coming up today to go and see the terracotta warriors with my wife. It’s been arranged for months.  The wife has just thought to try and book tickets.   

[Mook]

My boss just now, "That Paul down in London, he'd argue about anything to the ninth degree."

 

[Harry Squatter]

Girl in work left last week for promotion and everyone stood around her desk with tons of leaving cards when they presented her with money and a present. 

 

Some dozy smackhead looking woman who stood at her desk during the presentation turns round 10 minutes later and asks her when she is getting married.

[Mook]

We're getting a new boss in November, a female boss who my current one will be reporting into, found out yesterday she's younger than me. The fucking claws are out, nasty voicemail messages left on her phone, catty comments about whether she's married or not, non-stop complaining about having to book her a flight down to London, she's gone into full meltdown & I'm loving it. I was looking at other jobs but now I'm thinking I might stick around for a year & watch this beautiful shit unfold.

 

 

 

[Dougie Do'ins]

I'm also looming forward to the fallout from this.

 

Mon the new boss.

[sir roger]

In my experience of new female managers coming into situations where they are being undermined by underlings

( particularly of the same sex ) and especially those who are themselves incompetent , the future tends not to be bright for the underling.

[General Dryness]

Women can be far worse cunts in an office setting than men could ever be.

 

If theres enough of them about you've just got to keep your head down and hope for the best.

[Bjornebye]

11 hours ago, Mook said:

We're getting a new boss in November, a female boss who my current one will be reporting into, found out yesterday she's younger than me. The fucking claws are out, nasty voicemail messages left on her phone, catty comments about whether she's married or not, non-stop complaining about having to book her a flight down to London, she's gone into full meltdown & I'm loving it. I was looking at other jobs but now I'm thinking I might stick around for a year & watch this beautiful shit unfold.

 

 

 

Pic of the new boss or GTFO 

[moof]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Pic of the new boss or GTFO 

Co-signed 

[Mook]

If she's nice looking as well then I give The Gorg about six months before either her head explodes or she's working the till at her local Tesco.

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

If she's nice looking as well then I give The Gorg about six months before either her head explodes or she's working the till at her local Tesco.

6 months left to smash her back doors in then.

[DJLJ]

Got tickets a couple of months ago to this play for the kids for Christmas. I put them on one of the shelves in the cupboard and told her then where I put them. Over those couple of months she has continued to pule stuff on top of that shelf and this morning she got into a strop because she couldn’t find the tickets and had looked everywhere amd I’m at fault for walking straight over and lifting all her shit up to show the tickets on the same place as where I placed them 2 months ago. 

 

And now I have hidden them on purpose for her...

 

going to the pub 

[Elite]

It'll be like the female version of The Office, when Neil Godwin comes in. Initially your boss will be dismissive of the new younger, cooler boss but will be begging to keep her job in 6 months. I can picture Mook being like Tim as well.