Jump to content
  • Sign up for free and receive a month's subscription

    You are viewing this page as a guest. That means you are either a member who has not logged in, or you have not yet registered with us. Signing up for an account only takes a minute and it means you will no longer see this annoying box! It will also allow you to get involved with our friendly(ish!) community and take part in the discussions on our forums. And because we're feeling generous, if you sign up for a free account we will give you a month's free trial access to our subscriber only content with no obligation to commit. Register an account and then send a private message to @dave u and he'll hook you up with a subscription.

The world of a woman.


Ezekiel 25:17
 Share

Recommended Posts

Ha. Nah, it's not that.

 

She's also just told the Labour Party that I've ceased to exist. I went to the toilet and my phone rang with what looked like a cold call number on the screen. Apparently she picked it up and a man said really enthusiastically "Hello! Can I speak to Mr Turdseye please?" and she said "No, sorry, he's dead". The fella went on to apologise and say where he was calling from but she shit herself and didn't bother to tell him that I am in fact alive and was just having a poo.

 

Still, one less direct debit to worry about I suppose.

Didn't it come as a complete surprise the last time?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ha. Nah, it's not that.

 

She's also just told the Labour Party that I've ceased to exist. I went to the toilet and my phone rang with what looked like a cold call number on the screen. Apparently she picked it up and a man said really enthusiastically "Hello! Can I speak to Mr Turdseye please?" and she said "No, sorry, he's dead". The fella went on to apologise and say where he was calling from but she shit herself and didn't bother to tell him that I am in fact alive and was just having a poo.

 

Still, one less direct debit to worry about I suppose.

 

If she has been digging up the patio, run.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We've got a new woman starting today (let joy be unconfined), I've told my boss about 300 times since the last boy left (in March) that we can manage fine with two people & there will be nothing for a new person to do, nevertheless she has insisted on getting someone else in, mainly because she actually has to do some work when I'm off on holiday.

 

She's called the new start at the weekend & asked her to come in at 10 & told her she can go away mid-afternoon because there's nothing to do at the moment.

 

And it's always me who is wrong about everything?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We've got a new woman starting today (let joy be unconfined), I've told my boss about 300 times since the last boy left (in March) that we can manage fine with two people & there will be nothing for a new person to do, nevertheless she has insisted on getting someone else in, mainly because she actually has to do some work when I'm off on holiday.

 

She's called the new start at the weekend & asked her to come in at 10 & told her she can go away mid-afternoon because there's nothing to do at the moment.

 

And it's always me who is wrong about everything?

 

She's fixing to sack you so you can take you relationship to the next level and not get in trouble with HR.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A mate of mine brought his cricket team up here for a tour this weekend. I told her in April that it was happening and she should go away for the weekend as id be pissed for two days. She decided she couldn't be bothered going away and now isn't talking to me because I did exactly what I said I'd do nearly 6 months ago.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A mate of mine brought his cricket team up here for a tour this weekend. I told her in April that it was happening and she should go away for the weekend as id be pissed for two days. She decided she couldn't be bothered going away and now isn't talking to me because I did exactly what I said I'd do nearly 6 months ago.

 

How dare you. So inconsiderate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Signed up for the Warrington half marathon next year and was looking online for some decent running gear.  She decided she wanted to help me and set about browsing online for some footwear for me.  

 

Her - Would you wear asics?

Me - If they're comfy, yeah.  I'd need to read the reviews.

Her - Dunno if I could wear asics, they're a bit 80's aren't they?

Me - They've got a good reputation in running.

Her - I mean come on, would you be caught doing your marathon in these?  *hands phone to me*

Me - Probably not, because they're spikes and I'm running through Warrington.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Pistonbroke

For professional reasons I have to say that Warrington is a fine town with some of the greatest patrons in the north.

 

PM me for non professional reasons.

 

I've heard Warrington is that bad, that when visitors get off public transport and hear the locals they kneel down. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A mate of mine brought his cricket team up here for a tour this weekend. I told her in April that it was happening and she should go away for the weekend as id be pissed for two days. She decided she couldn't be bothered going away and now isn't talking to me because I did exactly what I said I'd do nearly 6 months ago.

This without any shadow of a doubt is the world of a woman. And in the world of a woman, this is a perfectly reasonable reaction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...