The world of a woman.

[Champ]

i could be rowing with Vlad about Tories

Or with Stu Monty moaning about deities

Laughing at Bobs luck with women

Or the world Hades lives in

While Hive is busy controlling my heating at home

I could be hearing Stigs train rants

Or laughing at people in shants

Scratching my head at the Tooth

Whilst Red Pheonix searches for the truth

While Hive is busy controlling my heating at home.

You wrote the ad for the telly, didnt you?

[Chairman Meow]

(Biting my tongue)

 

Get Hive

 

I refuse to acknowledge any worth in having Hive purely because of those horrendous adverts.

 

It blows my mind that some fuckwad comes up with these awful annoying adverts and yet no-one seems to realise just how fucking awful they are before they unleash the shitty thing on my TV.

 

PR / Advertising companies are up there with Estate Agents and Recruitment Agencies for actively making the world a shitter place to live yet somehow being paid to do so despite everything pointing to the fact they no nothing and add no value to anything. 

[Rico1304]

I refuse to acknowledge any worth in having Hive purely because of those horrendous adverts.

 

It blows my mind that some fuckwad comes up with these awful annoying adverts and yet no-one seems to realise just how fucking awful they are before they unleash the shitty thing on my TV.

 

PR / Advertising companies are up there with Estate Agents and Recruitment Agencies for actively making the world a shitter place to live yet somehow being paid to do so despite everything pointing to the fact they no nothing and add no value to anything.

 

Apparently that's pretty much the conversation that happened when it was first presented. But the bloke at top liked it...

[Trumo]

It blows my mind that some fuckwad comes up with these awful annoying adverts and yet no-one seems to realise just how fucking awful they are before they unleash the shitty thing on my TV.

 

There's another advert on TV for a payday lender, and it's basically an exasperated ad exec cringing at the utterly shit suggestions being made by his team. I suspect there's more than a grain of truth in it judging by how appalling most adverts are these days.

[VladimirIlyich]

 

 

There's another advert on TV for a Legal Loan Shark, and it's basically an exasperated ad exec cringing at the utterly shit suggestions being made by his team. I suspect there's more than a grain of truth in it judging by how appalling most adverts are these days.

.

 

 

[Champ]

Apparently that's pretty much the conversation that happened when it was first presented. But the bloke at top liked it...

I remember the first time I saw it and being torn by the fucking arrogance of a company that could put out that shit and depressed to think that they must have judged that the general populace are so braindead that it might actually boost sales. No publicity can ever be bad publicity, hey?

[Duncan Clench]

You know, one of the highlights of my week is not reading this thread, and then getting a week's worth in one hit. It's truly brilliant!

 

Couple of TV related ones that are recent, because I literally can't keep up with her WOAW antics:

 

We were talking about everyone on the planet going to watch Star Wars and agreeing that we're not fussed and will wait until a decent stream becomes available. Then she mentioned that she thinks she's seen the originals, but if she had it was so long ago that she can't remember it, so we decided we'd watch it.

 

The famous scrolling text appears and within literally 10 seconds I'm asked to pause it for the 1st question which was "So which ones are the rebels?". I used my stock response to the film/TV stupidity, saying that these things are usually revealed during the show. Like many have reported on here, she does this with almost every movie.

 

Then, just the other day her brother was over and we were talking about Derren Brown and his new show. I said I hadn't seen it but have got it recorded. The conversation went on and she seemed very keen to watch it, even answering a direct question of: "Do you like Derren Brown stuff then?" with a resounding "Yes!".

 

So later that evening I suggest we watch it. Only silly me, I didn't realise that she doesn't like Derren Brown and isn't up for watching it at all. I was trying to work out if she thought that she might offend her brother by not liking a particular TV personality, but I've concluded that it was just a case of talking for talking's sake earlier in the day.

[Mook]

Isn't a bad advert good because it gets stuck in people's heads & they'll talk about it at work etc?

 

I hear morons at work talking about them all the time, job done for the cunts who come up with them surely, plus all you need is a semi-hot bird signing 'chicken madras' & you've got my attention.

[Paulie Dangerously]

 

 

The famous scrolling text appears and within literally 10 seconds I'm asked to pause it for the 1st question which was "So which ones are the rebels?". I used my stock response to the film/TV stupidity, saying that these things are usually revealed during the show. Like many have reported on here, she does this with almost every movie.

 

 

 

Belly laughed at that.  I get asked a dozen questions per anything we watch, even if I haven't seen it before and have the exact level of knowledge as Lady D.  I've mentioned on here before that I tend to watch things like GoT twice.  Once as the narrator and once on my own

[Stouffer]

There's another advert on TV for a payday lender, and it's basically an exasperated ad exec cringing at the utterly shit suggestions being made by his team. I suspect there's more than a grain of truth in it judging by how appalling most adverts are these days.

Rod Skace is in it tho'; Rod Skace.

[Chris]

About 10.30 last night I said yo lady D that we should just go to bed and stop drinking.

 

I was boring and old and she wouldn't mind getting up with the baby but we were Deffo staying up til twelve.

 

6.20am this morning the baby gets up and it's my fault for waking her up snoring. I slept in tip 10.30 despite the blatant attempts to wake me up banging doors etc. so sweet

 

When you told me this story, I had sympathy. Now I'm not so sure. To be honest, I've come close to braining you multiple times for snoring when crashing on my floor, down the years.

[Sugar Ape]

She's just got in from a yoga class in preparation for the arrival of the baby.

 

Me: How was it?

 

Her: It was good, there were loads of people there. One woman was like a ras...rafta...Rastafarian is it?

 

Me: Did she have hair like Bob Marley?

 

Her: What? No, she had short hair like Demi Moore.

 

Me: In what way was she like a Rasta then?

 

Her: You know, she had beads and stuff on. Maybe it's a hippy I'm thinking of.

[Trumo]

Your baby is listening to this shite too.

[bigbak]

Your baby is listening to this shite too.

 

80% of a babies intelligence comes from the Mum apparently.

[lifetime fan]

80% of a babies intelligence comes from the Mum apparently.

Explains a fucking lot about the youth of today.

[Champ]

Explains a fucking lot about the youth of today.

And every...oh, never mind

[lifetime fan]

Over a dozen different handbags and nearly 10 purses - and what does my princess do? Go fucking shopping with just her and my bank cards in her pocket and loses them.

Bit of a fucking stupid thing to do so close to Christmas and it'll take ages to get replacements in the post but I was going into town yesterday so could have taken an extra 10 minutes to go into the branch get a load of cash out for over Christmas.

That's the sensible thing to do. But did she tell me yesterday when she knew I was in town, walking past the door of the cunting branch? No, of course not.

She decided to tell me this morning as she was running out the door to work and I'm not starting till 10.

Me: why the fuck didn't you tell me yesterday you'd lost them?

Her: I didn't want to.

Me: why not?

Her: because of this.

Me: because of what?

Her: I knew you'd shout at me.

Me: not as much as I'm going to now you stupid prick.

Her: see, I knew I was right to not tell you.

Me: argh!!!! Have you even reported the cards as lost with the bank.

Her: I hadn't thought of that.

Me: fuck off to work because I'm thinking of breaking your fucking neck.

Stupid, stupid twat.

I'm not working today and just had this conversation.

 

Her: Have you seen my bank card?

Me: Why the fuck would I have seen it? You know I hate going in your purse or bag.

Her: Because I don't know where it is.

Me: That doesn't answer the question.

Her: Stop shouting at me.

Me: I've not raised my voice, I'm laughing at your fucking stupidity.

Her: Well you're a great help.

Me: *trying not to wet myself* Have you checked your purse and handbag?

Her: Yes. Of course I have. Why would you even ask that?

Me: That's where you're fucking meant to keep it love.

 

Line goes dead.

[lifetime fan]

Quickly followed by;

 

Her: Don't be a cunt babe. I need fuel and can't get home otherwise.

Me: *Obvious thoughts with the unmentionable tonight* When did you have it last?

Her: I'm not a fucking kid, don't patronise me.

Me: Seriously, where did you have it last? Should I be turning the house upside down or should you be checking the car?

Her: I don't know. I hardly ever use it.

Me: Oh don't I fucking know that.

Her: At times I wonder why I'm marrying you.

Me: Because you wouldn't be trusted with a fucking gerbil on your own.

Her: Colin, please baby I'm starting to worry.

Me: When did you have it last?

Her: When we went for a drink on Monday after work. Can you check my tweed jacket pocket? I reckon that's where it must be.

Me: You mean the one you were today you fucking wilf!

 

*Phone goes dead.

[Rico1304]

I've just looked up hive & have to say I'm buzzing with that suggestion, cheers, Rico, looks like you've hit the honey pot.

Smart plugs and window & door sensors mean from today you can spy on your woman from work. Apologies for the shit advert, it was nothing to do with me.

[Mook]

I'm going to get Hive if I get my bonus this year, I was reading the instructions on how to work my heating last night & you'd need to be Stephen fucking Hawking to sort it out.

 

Not arsed about spying on my missus as I get enough reality tv when I get home every night, to a house which is hotter than the surface of the sun.

[Rico1304]

I'm going to get Hive if I get my bonus this year, I was reading the instructions on how to work my heating last night & you'd need to be Stephen fucking Hawking to sort it out.

 

Not arsed about spying on my missus as I get enough reality tv when I get home every night, to a house which is hotter than the surface of the sun.

Let me know before you do and I'll see if there are any offers on.

[bigbak]

I'm going to get Hive if I get my bonus this year, I was reading the instructions on how to work my heating last night & you'd need to be Stephen fucking Hawking to sort it out.

 

Not arsed about spying on my missus as I get enough reality tv when I get home every night, to a house which is hotter than the surface of the sun.

 

I've got a Nest.  It's supposed to connect with Google Now so it'll turn my heating on when it realises I'm going home.

She's always there at the moment, so no idea if that works.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I'm going to get HIV if I get my bonus this year,

 

Hookers and Mozam?

[Dr Nowt]

Just to confirm, if Rico can set me up with something which allows me to spy on Mook's missus, then um, well...

 

PM sent.

[Mook]

Fucking hell, this morning I was buying a fancy new heating system, now I've got AIDS & people on the internet are spying on my missus.

 

Luck comes in threes as well so I'll probably get gang raped on my way home from work.

 

By an elephant.